BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
14 Days
and
68920 Haikus
later...
By Pinocchio
Stiff Life with a Wood Pecker
Geppedophile Books
Haiku #59158, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Order of Perpetually Cranky Librarians
September 7, 2018 12:35 am ET

Still Life with Woodpecker.
Tom Robbins. Damn good author. I should re-read some of his stuff. Hard to find it in Asia... guess I'll download it.
Haiku #59157, by
September 7, 2018 12:01 am ET

You say "just" a drunk.
Being a drunk is hard work.
Ask any liver.

He was no prophet.
But prophets are not prophets.
Or else they'd profit.

Divine Wall Street trends.
Then become a trillionaire.
And buy more whiskey.

If you never sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Fuck some whores today.
Haiku #59156, by
September 6, 2018 11:58 pm ET

He'd love Bad Haiku
So skilled at Cunnilingus
Cunning Linguist
Haiku #59155, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sandpaper Tongue Society
September 6, 2018 10:48 pm ET

What if Jim were Dad?
Biggest Electra complex
Any girl has had
Haiku #59154, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Elektra Records
September 6, 2018 10:42 pm ET

Crystal Ship released
Same month/year as Starkitten
But Jim not my Dad
Haiku #59153, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest School of Rock
September 6, 2018 10:10 pm ET

You know I love you.
Jim, He was the Lizard King
Before that Gecko!
Haiku #59152, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Wide Open Doors of Perception
September 6, 2018 9:50 pm ET

OK Starkitten
Start talking about pussy
It's your feline cue
Haiku #59151, by Saul of Tarsus
September 6, 2018 8:47 pm ET

That Jim Morrison
Ranted while drunk off his ass
then got shown the door.

He was no prophet
Nor was he a good poet
He was just a drunk.

I like some Doors songs
A few make me want to cringe
But most of them rock
Haiku #59150, by Make the queen of the angels sigh . . .
September 6, 2018 8:44 pm ET

Been looking for you
Left a trail. Dirty Haiku
And a small glass shoe
Haiku #59149, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Starkittenderella
September 6, 2018 3:48 pm ET

Covered Wagon Ride
Magnificent Clydesdale
Oral Odyssey

Cunnilingus Coach
Carrying moaning cargo
To new horizon
Haiku #59148, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Historical Society
September 6, 2018 1:54 pm ET

Living off the grid
Reheat lasagne in kiln
Cunnilingus Yurt
Haiku #59147, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Living the Dream
September 6, 2018 1:45 pm ET

Art class nude model
Such attention to detail
Tampon string noted
Haiku #59146, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 6, 2018 1:40 pm ET

Life Drawing Classroom
Embarrassing Erection
Still Life Woodpecker
Haiku #59145, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Art Supply
September 6, 2018 1:37 pm ET

Conjugal visit?
Penis serving life sentence
In solitary
Haiku #59144, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest (Dirty) Books for Incarcerated Perverts
September 6, 2018 1:30 pm ET

Harvest Festival
Enormous Eggplant in pants
Open kimono
Haiku #59143, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Cunnilingus Sister City
September 6, 2018 1:27 pm ET

Cold, Cavernous Cunt.
Cunnilingus Champion
Can crank Celsius!
Haiku #59142, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 6, 2018 12:39 pm ET

Congested Mammoth
Malodorous Pachyderm
Wooly Bully. Dick.
Haiku #59141, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Ivory
September 6, 2018 12:34 pm ET

I'm disappointed.
Snuff porn is not porn starring
Snuffleupagus.
Haiku #59140, by
September 6, 2018 6:41 am ET

Pooh is high on crack.
Eyore went to Tijuana.
Tigger's a porn star.
Haiku #59139, by
September 6, 2018 6:37 am ET

Phlebotomists flee
flying flatulent flautists
flipping flagrant phlegm.
Haiku #59138, by
September 6, 2018 6:34 am ET

Don't strain when you poo.
Let it come out on its own.
Just like Groundhog Day.
Haiku #59137, by
September 6, 2018 6:25 am ET

James Taylor. Wanking.
Shower the people you love...
With..Zip up your pants.
Haiku #59136, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Lite Rock
September 6, 2018 2:27 am ET

Crisp leaves underfoot
Cunnilingus in the air
First breath of autumn
Haiku #59135, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 6, 2018 2:14 am ET

Preparation H
And Prisoner Cell Block H
Made for Down Under
Haiku #59134, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 10:07 pm ET

Wet Haikulingus
I admire your long pen
Is it really real?
Haiku #59133, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest cat tree
September 5, 2018 10:02 pm ET

Boring Desk Job Hack
Put googly eyes on hemorrhoids
Think outside of box

Jack off in the box
That's what they call Mayonnaise
How's your day so far?

Back to the hemorrhoid
It's singing Blue Oyster Cult
I'm Burning for You
Haiku #59132, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 5, 2018 9:51 pm ET

No more naughty talk.
Haiku just got mad at me.
She sounded fishy.
Haiku #59131, by I'm not scared (or scaled) of the Sashimi Shimmy
September 5, 2018 9:26 pm ET

Woke up to work up
She's still on that sushi roll . . .
Hope I'm getting fresh
Haiku #59130, by Choosy Sushi Chef, heard of N. Korean DOG sushi?
September 5, 2018 9:21 pm ET

Fresh rolled sushi here
Kamikaze clitoris
That's your wake up call
Haiku #59129, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Haiku Hotel
September 5, 2018 6:40 pm ET

Who's burning their Nikes?
Show of hands!
I bought some new ones... For about $15.
Haiku #59128, by
September 5, 2018 5:50 pm ET

I'd rather eat out a rabid baboon's asshole while getting gangbanged by kangaroos on meth.
Haiku #59127, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2018 5:49 pm ET

GOLLY GEE ITS TIME
TO GO LEAD THE BLOODY CHOIR.
Caps lock off. Farewell.
Haiku #59126, by Nipponese Nemesis, sort of .
September 5, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Naked in wheelchair
Shuddering with Haiku verse
I roll into you.
Haiku #59125, by Nipponese Wheelchairs are made of pure poetic imagery.
September 5, 2018 5:33 pm ET

Pink pink pink pink pink
But darker at the edges
of wet universe
Haiku #59124, by Liberated Librarian Liaison Linkage of Lechery
September 5, 2018 5:28 pm ET

You keeping busy?
Sent you a box of panties
From the nursing home
Haiku #59123, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Low Mileage Vaginas
September 5, 2018 5:23 pm ET

Don't take your licking
Lying down. Open your snatch
(jaws of victory)
Haiku #59122, by Hiroshima WHOOPS YOU ARE A MAN of course it was not obvious at first
September 5, 2018 5:22 pm ET

Harvest Festival
Replaced with private concert:
Skin Flute Sonata
Haiku #59121, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Conservatory of Music
September 5, 2018 5:20 pm ET

Starkitten will fall
DOOM is here. Don't play with string
and don't lap star-milk
Haiku #59120, by Nagashima Hirosaki thinks of you every time he voids his Haiku
September 5, 2018 5:16 pm ET

Librarian moans
From the cunnilingus nook
Long overdue. Fine.
Haiku #59119, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Moist Librarians Association
September 5, 2018 5:15 pm ET

The temple harvest
festival in the moonlight
was cut off somehow
Haiku #59118, by Submit this you unpoetic gaijin filth; of course you cut off my temple harvest festival in moonlight
September 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET

Oral-to-mouth prayer:
funniest cunnilingus,
yet almost holy.
Haiku #59117, by Hirosaki Nagashima of course. PS: My haiku used, owned, then sold your mama . . . at a Haiku garage sale. On the island of Honshu. After temple harves
September 5, 2018 5:04 pm ET

I, Hirosaki
Nagashima: the greatest
Haiku superstar
Haiku #59116, by I already told you, filthy gaijin hairy pink ape--are you not aware of the splendor of my rising sun? BANZAAAAAIIIIIII !!!! 💥
September 5, 2018 4:56 pm ET

You, you Starkitten
stop that cunnilingus talk.
(Pink hairy Haiku)
Haiku #59115, by Horizontal Orifice of Artifice of Transnational Haiku Holdings Inc.
September 5, 2018 4:49 pm ET

Hey You Starkitten
Stop talk so much about poop
And get back to work
Haiku #59114, by Yu Think yu get paid to write useless shit? of course not. I don't pay yu stand around look pretty
September 5, 2018 4:43 pm ET

TYPE ANY DAMN THING
until I get caps lock off
and get myself off
Haiku #59113, by 5/7/5 Pissed in Basho's carp pool when i was drunk on Haiku of Cabbages and Kings
September 5, 2018 4:39 pm ET

Starkitten, it's time
to make your full transition
to hormone heaven.
Haiku #59112, by Celestial Ambrosial Bestial Vestal of the Unmortared Pestle of Your Imminent Haiku Implosion
September 5, 2018 4:35 pm ET

Bono lost his bitch
virtue-signaling to mom.
Just strum your geetar.
Haiku #59111, by Sonny and Cher Bonehead of boner poppers of London Ltd
September 5, 2018 4:29 pm ET

Haiku is Japa-
nese. Dirty knees look at these
harmonious verses.
Haiku #59110, by Nagashima Hirosaki of smoking ruins of poetics
September 5, 2018 4:24 pm ET

About the poem:
shut up now and contemplate
big fake Chinese moon
Haiku #59109, by moonlight over frontier gate of old inn of lost happiness where the taoist sage went to die in the arms of courtesan kwanyin
September 5, 2018 4:18 pm ET