BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
5 Days
and
66431 Haikus
later...
Replaced his glass eyes
With his wife's used Ben Wa Balls
Now gives you Stinkeyes
Haiku #59218, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Optometry
September 8, 2018 5:41 pm ET

Unmistakable!
Dance of the Constipated
Want to go-go dance

Left turd with no flush
Guilty feet. Got no rhythm.
George Michael wiz here
Haiku #59217, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest School of Rest Room Attendant Training
September 8, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Ten Penny Henry
Used pennies. Not dimes! Cheater!!
Demi wanted More.
Haiku #59216, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Blockbusters Video
September 8, 2018 4:30 pm ET

An apparition
Balancing coins on his dink
Meet Patrick Swayze
Haiku #59215, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Currency Exchange
September 8, 2018 4:28 pm ET

Come for the ice cream
Stay for the cunnilingus
69 Flavours
Haiku #59214, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Popsicle Stand
September 8, 2018 4:21 pm ET

Moon Ceremony
We walk together. Tails High.
Scat illuminated
Haiku #59213, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Litterpan Fillers
September 8, 2018 4:07 pm ET

Starkitten laugh now
Haiku of old alley cat
Meow of Innocence
Haiku #59212, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 4:03 pm ET

When I crave Haiku
Starkitten won't disappoint:
sleaze, sleaze and more sleaze
Haiku #59211, by Mind of the Beholder
September 8, 2018 2:26 pm ET

Wasted Caviar
Abandoned Aquarium
Yoko Ono's cunt
Haiku #59210, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Fish R Us
September 8, 2018 1:42 pm ET

Sampled the buffet
Infection d'yeast: Soup of Day
Ball Cheese crudités
Haiku #59209, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Genital Catering Service
September 8, 2018 1:36 pm ET

Sarah Jessica
Ferris Bueler Dutch ovened
Horsefaced Biodome
Encouraged to fart freely


Yes, as I recall
Your exact words: Ambrosia
Our
Haiku #59208, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 1:31 pm ET

Whiskers twitch. You rang?
You win Golden Pen today
Speak Haikulingus
Haiku #59207, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 1:16 pm ET

The banquet commenced,
fussy in pace. But my wish
was pussy in face.
Haiku #59206, by Haiku Disciple of Starkitten
September 8, 2018 10:41 am ET

My horse-face sky-girl
releases celestial light
through rear orifice
Haiku #59205, by Dreaming of Celestina in AZ
September 8, 2018 10:20 am ET

Freaky horse-face girl
beautiful, ultra-violet:
my kind of E.T
Haiku #59204, by Celestial Bodies of the Night Sky
September 8, 2018 10:16 am ET

I farted quickly
then she came; clouds of glory
bliss greater than stench
Haiku #59203, by Blue Flame of Methane
September 8, 2018 10:12 am ET

Wait wait wait... my bad.
It's the Brazillians that are
hard into fart porn.
Haiku #59202, by
September 8, 2018 10:11 am ET

Now I am inspired !
Fart-talk here on Bad Haiku:
my inner gas-child ☺
Haiku #59201, by Me, thane of free-verse flatulence
September 8, 2018 10:09 am ET

my mind is evil
law lf attraction vs a
grace of God thing, kay?
Haiku #59200, by goku!! of serve God not man, even if she is in latex
September 8, 2018 9:03 am ET

politicians...

we're usually fucked when they
are in office
Haiku #59199, by goku?
September 8, 2018 9:01 am ET

I could fart on you.
If only you would let me.
Just like in Japan.
Haiku #59198, by
September 8, 2018 9:00 am ET

There was a fat frog.
It liked to swim and eat bugs.
That's pretty much it.
Haiku #59197, by
September 8, 2018 8:58 am ET

I came too quickly.
She was not happy at all.
And then I farted.
Haiku #59196, by
September 8, 2018 8:57 am ET

Give leprechauns head
Invite them to bed. You'll see.
Money, Money! Yeah!
Haiku #59195, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 8, 2018 2:49 am ET

Law of Attraction
Get a piece of the action
Visualize it, dude
Haiku #59194, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Bank of Starkitten
September 8, 2018 2:43 am ET

Fuck a giant clam
Risky! Dick might get a slam
Wham bam thank you clam
Haiku #59193, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Aquarium
September 8, 2018 2:38 am ET

I want tons of cash,
but don't want to work for it.
Any suggestions?
Haiku #59192, by
September 8, 2018 2:30 am ET

So what do you think's
the most inappropriate
animal to fuck?

Perhaps sea urchins.
Maybe a giant tortoise.
Or politicians.
Haiku #59191, by
September 8, 2018 2:27 am ET

And "the rendevous"... but you have to sign in to confirm your age. Sorry Starkitten. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ssvqb03WlA
Haiku #59190, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2018 2:23 am ET

And of course, the acoustic cover of What What in the Butt in D minor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRJMhVDVRns
Haiku #59189, by
September 8, 2018 2:21 am ET

I often wonder
Should I launder sheets? Dry Clean?
Radioactive?

Sample: Glowing Spooge
Run it through the centrifuge
This time it's pink slime
Haiku #59188, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Diagnostics Laboratory
September 8, 2018 2:20 am ET

MacSabbath is cool, but I still like the "Monkey Rapes a Goat Music Video" best: https://ok.ru/video/884082053
Haiku #59187, by df
September 8, 2018 2:15 am ET

Meeting is great fun
What part of you is the dink?
Prepare for entry!
Haiku #59186, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Intergalactic Welcome Wagon
September 8, 2018 2:13 am ET

Leave your door unlocked
To welcome space aliens
They're always horny
Haiku #59185, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Saucer Nest
September 8, 2018 2:07 am ET

Fecal coliform
Raining Down. A real shitstorm.
Your bathroom forecast
Haiku #59184, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Weather Channel
September 8, 2018 2:02 am ET

Pink Slime in Fast Food:
Henry Mancini remains,
Fresh Pink Panther dung

That makes the starter
Picture Amish Friendship Bread
Oozing and gooey

Try their latest bread
Amish Friends with Benefits
Hurry, won't last long
Haiku #59183, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Food Promotion Board
September 8, 2018 12:25 am ET

McSabbath Meal. Good.
Rich in iron, man. Want one?
Flame broiled soul burger
Haiku #59182, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Metal
September 7, 2018 9:27 pm ET

I just got seasick
Cher. If I Could Turn Back Time.
Made room smell like fish
Haiku #59181, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 7, 2018 9:18 pm ET

aparenty there is a
band called Mac Sabbath now we
know there' is pink slime
Haiku #59180, by Goku! of https://youtu.be/m1wkfJY3AZM
September 7, 2018 9:16 pm ET

Peristalis is
true excremeditation.
Let Bob Dobbs be praised !
Haiku #59179, by Foul Stench of merely human ideals
September 7, 2018 5:14 pm ET

Try Togetherness
Synchronized Defecation
Doubles Game of Thrones
Haiku #59178, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Two Holer Club
September 7, 2018 5:01 pm ET

Bono satori:
Ski hard into a large tree
Hit head. Wake up dead.
Haiku #59177, by Chastity is a kind of gender-free charity.
September 7, 2018 4:39 pm ET

Did you come to ski?
Or be one with the tree, sir?
Winter Wonderland
Haiku #59176, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Pro Bono Legal Cervixes
September 7, 2018 4:05 pm ET

Return books to slot
Librarian on Duty
Check me out sometime
Haiku #59175, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Order of Shaved Librarians
September 7, 2018 3:56 pm ET

Contemplate Heaven
Behold the seraphim, then
Clean your shit-smeared ass
Haiku #59174, by Haiku can be considered a form of therapy.
September 7, 2018 3:56 pm ET

Bono's day: sunny
So he shared his wife: funny
got you babe/honey
Haiku #59173, by Cher Sarkisian of "just teasian"
September 7, 2018 3:52 pm ET

She's on the table
Inserted Horn of Plenty!
Pornocopia
Haiku #59172, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All New Martha Stewart!
September 7, 2018 3:12 pm ET

You? Librarian ?
Insane libertine more like.
Send Haiku pic NOW.
Haiku #59171, by Fear of Libraries
September 7, 2018 2:52 pm ET

Do no harm Goku
Good friends are all here with you
Sip some Bad Haiku
Haiku #59170, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Tearoom and Medicinal Scones
September 7, 2018 2:50 pm ET

Shed Antler dildoes
From the mall kiosk my dear?
Let's play reindeer games!
Haiku #59169, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Deer Park and Petting Zoo
September 7, 2018 2:44 pm ET