Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 18 Days and 76795 Haiku later...

Hunched out in long coils
The turds of one thousand dogs
All in your honour
Haiku # 59342, September 13, 2018 10:25 pm ET
by Starkitten
Got my shopping done
Giving everyone Haiku
This one is for you
Haiku # 59341, September 13, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pictures with Santa
Your mom had her portrait done
Sitting on his dick
Haiku # 59340, September 13, 2018 10:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
woof woof woff, woof woof
woff bark bark woof howllll arf arf
woof woof woof...meow
Haiku # 59339, September 13, 2018 5:26 pm ET
by vhs of getting ready for the dogs barking jingle bells song
Mall walk stomach cramp?
Seen your telltale hopping dance
You methane shaman

Disappear like Jim
Come on baby light my fire
Blue flame blast your pants

Dirty underwear
Scattered on Dawn's Highway, huh?
Plus size Underoos?
Haiku # 59338, September 13, 2018 5:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
And I too, have been
That doomed stranger in the mall
Asking "who farted" ?
Haiku # 59337, September 13, 2018 3:06 pm ET
by no means denigrating your case of poetic flatulence
That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts
Haiku # 59336, September 13, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by the way, most people haven't heard of Paul David what's his name
A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.
Haiku # 59335, September 13, 2018 9:57 am ET
I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.
Haiku # 59334, September 13, 2018 9:55 am ET
Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.
Haiku # 59333, September 13, 2018 9:53 am ET
beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct
Haiku # 59332, September 13, 2018 5:44 am ET
by ash
wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me
Haiku # 59331, September 13, 2018 5:30 am ET
by ash
being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing
Haiku # 59330, September 13, 2018 5:28 am ET
by ash
i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...
Haiku # 59329, September 13, 2018 5:26 am ET
by ash
and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle
Haiku # 59328, September 12, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by vhs of it was not that bad
names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read
Haiku # 59327, September 12, 2018 7:18 pm ET
by vhs
Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way
Haiku # 59326, September 12, 2018 10:32 am ET
by learning to think of something beyond your SELF
Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to
Haiku # 59325, September 12, 2018 10:28 am ET
by create a new name of everlasting GLORY
You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.
Haiku # 59324, September 12, 2018 10:23 am ET
by Delusions of Feminism
The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers
Haiku # 59323, September 12, 2018 10:17 am ET
by it's always the beginning of the End
a hurricane
more may be coming to do
the human clean up

so dead dare praised for
we live in the end times, again
so stories go
Haiku # 59322, September 11, 2018 10:24 pm ET
by vhs of hell and 666th
sometimes people want
to forget their humanity
to play anti God

they're still just human
hitler in a bunker was
The End for that then...

Hitler Parodies
Haiku # 59321, September 11, 2018 7:33 pm ET
by vhs
Fight this civil war
Lyrically, poetically...
Haiku # 59320, September 11, 2018 2:07 pm ET
by Enraged Projections of the Left
of course i will
have to fight you to my death
to protect humanity

from psychopaths like yourself
Haiku # 59319, September 11, 2018 12:30 pm ET
by vhs
Just make some shit up
As long as Donald looks bad:
leaky, lying press.
Haiku # 59318, September 11, 2018 12:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Source of Haiku
At first I believed
The narrative as supplied.
Now I'm wondering.
Haiku # 59317, September 11, 2018 12:16 pm ET
by 11th of September 2001
Time needs a fast-forward button.
Other than a 100 year journey at 99% the speed of light.
I'd love to see the end of this stupid race.
To see this planet cleansed of this horrible filth called life.
Make Earth Great Again!
Deport all life-forms. Make them pay for it.
Every last amoeba and virus. Every long protein strand.
Kick them out. Only minerals, dust, water, and lava.
And the plastic McDonald's toys you once thought were so cute.
... I am, sadly, not a robot.
Haiku # 59316, September 11, 2018 12:09 pm ET
i remember that
day all too clearly
my old man was watching planes crash into the twin towers
and it was the only time i had seen
terror on his face
sometimes the mask comes off
3000 plus were gone
we were are vulnerable
we remember today
we are americans, methinks
Haiku # 59315, September 11, 2018 10:37 am ET
by vhs
those who were raised as
youth in nazi like eras of
patriotic extroversion

in their old age drive
their decendants into desiring
to quietly obseving

their own patriotic
discourse without the mindless
savagery of their extroversion
Haiku # 59314, September 11, 2018 10:28 am ET
by vhs
Hey, almost forgot:
It's September eleventh,
Day of deceptions.
Haiku # 59313, September 11, 2018 8:59 am ET
by Tragicomedy of Propaganda
I am not a robot.
Of COURSE I am not a robot!
...the fuck wrong with you ?
Haiku # 59312, September 11, 2018 8:55 am ET
by Hirosaki Nagashima of all the stupid names you could imagine
Not necessary !
bad Haiku verse is strictly
Haiku # 59311, September 11, 2018 8:53 am ET
by Nagashima Hirosaki of Sake Tumi
This is my vengeance
upon the Haiku verse-form:
hours of boredom.
Haiku # 59310, September 11, 2018 8:50 am ET
by Harajuku of Harakiri
Oh Haiku warriors,
compose yourselves. Get ready.
Battle commences.
Haiku # 59309, September 11, 2018 8:48 am ET
by Sukiyaki-san of Shinjuku
I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Lets go home and fuck.
Haiku # 59308, September 11, 2018 3:46 am ET
You're my only friend
And I'm not sure you like me
At least I have that
Haiku # 59307, September 10, 2018 9:53 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Saw you standing there
All covered with Bad Haiku
Sandpaper tongue bath
Haiku # 59306, September 10, 2018 8:41 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All Cat Day Spa
Do you knit doll clothes?
No, these are penis sweaters.
What size will you need?
Haiku # 59305, September 10, 2018 8:35 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Custom Knit Penis Sweaters
Visit our kiosk
Conveniently located
In my dog's rear end
Haiku # 59304, September 10, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anal Poolius 10 % Discount for Tortoises
Protein shake,my friend
Refreshment from dog's back end
Anal Julius
Haiku # 59303, September 10, 2018 8:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Friendly Librarians
Isn't it strange the way tortoises will eat dog poop. What do they know that I do not? Am I missing something here? Please research this and let me know. Anxiously awaiting your answer.
Haiku # 59302, September 10, 2018 7:57 pm ET
Bask in full moon glow
Levitation. Magic show
Think it's gonna blow..
Haiku # 59301, September 10, 2018 7:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
ok mooning the moon
which rise do we rise to
in this occasion?
Haiku # 59300, September 10, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by vhs of spring
Wind lift soft music
Whisker Koto. Gentle strum..
Moon Rise. See my bum!
Haiku # 59299, September 10, 2018 6:29 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Beneath the willow
Hidden Moon on full display
No Kimono Show
Haiku # 59298, September 10, 2018 6:20 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Show Cat
Willow branches bend
My favorite of all God's trees.
Weeping and sighing
Haiku # 59297, September 10, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by Arboreal delerium of cheap Haiku
Cannot glimpse your moon
Clouds have obscured the beauty
Lunar betrayal
Haiku # 59296, September 10, 2018 5:17 pm ET
by Intimations of lunar DOOM
The Captain's Nosehair
All hands on deck! Pull, me hearties!
Wait! That's not his nose!
Haiku # 59295, September 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Sea Adventures of Yesteryear
Joke on you. Your shoe.
Naughty tree. Saved bag of poop
For certain person
Haiku # 59294, September 10, 2018 4:03 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Arbor Day's of Our Lives Tree Soap Opera
Willow tree, bending
Thoughtfully scooping, bagging
The dog shit you left
Haiku # 59293, September 10, 2018 4:00 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Tree Huggers
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