Now watch me neigh neigh
New Horseshoes! Clip Clop Clip Clop!
Road apples for you

With the new enhanced neurons that Elon Musk is inventing kangaroos can be programmed to deliver packages in their pouches. Look out UPS, FedEx, and USPS!
Doesn't "Elon Musk" sound like a trashy perfume name?
I'm not a robot... yet. But perhaps soon... perhaps.

I will never stop
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Schizophrenic bitch!

Northern Exposure
The Farmers Market pervert
Cucumber in hand

Grey Sky Festival
Fresh Haiku bubbling up
Straight from my gizzards

Stuck in the window
Like Magilla Gorilla
Just might go apeshit!

Tongues are wagging!
Ye Olde Cunnilingus Shoppe
The talk of the town

Rearranging things
Reversed your nose and penis
You're such a dickhead

Downward facing dong
Hot Yoga happy ending
Pumpkin Spice Latte

bad santa

Great mall memories
That's Ken Berry jacking off
In your Kinney shoe

Hunched out in long coils
The turds of one thousand dogs
All in your honour

Got my shopping done
Giving everyone Haiku
This one is for you

Pictures with Santa
Your mom had her portrait done
Sitting on his dick

woof woof woff, woof woof
woff bark bark woof howllll arf arf
woof woof woof...meow

Mall walk stomach cramp?
Seen your telltale hopping dance
You methane shaman

Disappear like Jim
Come on baby light my fire
Blue flame blast your pants

Dirty underwear
Scattered on Dawn's Highway, huh?
Plus size Underoos?

And I too, have been
That doomed stranger in the mall
Asking "who farted" ?

That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts

A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.

I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.

Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.

beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct

chemotherapy
wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me

being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing

i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...

and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle

names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read

Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way

Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to

You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.

The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers

a hurricane
and
more may be coming to do
the human clean up

so dead dare praised for
we live in the end times, again
so stories go

sometimes people want
to forget their humanity
to play anti God

they're still just human
hitler in a bunker was
The End for that then...

Hitler Parodies

Fight this civil war
Lyrically, poetically...
Psychopathically

of course i will
have to fight you to my death
to protect humanity

from psychopaths like yourself

Just make some shit up
As long as Donald looks bad:
leaky, lying press.

At first I believed
The narrative as supplied.
Now I'm wondering.

Time needs a fast-forward button.
Other than a 100 year journey at 99% the speed of light.
I'd love to see the end of this stupid race.
To see this planet cleansed of this horrible filth called life.
Make Earth Great Again!
Deport all life-forms. Make them pay for it.
Every last amoeba and virus. Every long protein strand.
Kick them out. Only minerals, dust, water, and lava.
And the plastic McDonald's toys you once thought were so cute.
... I am, sadly, not a robot.

i remember that
day all too clearly
my old man was watching planes crash into the twin towers
and it was the only time i had seen
terror on his face
sometimes the mask comes off
3000 plus were gone
we were are vulnerable
we remember today
we are americans, methinks

those who were raised as
youth in nazi like eras of
patriotic extroversion

in their old age drive
their decendants into desiring
to quietly obseving

their own patriotic
discourse without the mindless
savagery of their extroversion

Hey, almost forgot:
It's September eleventh,
Day of deceptions.

I am not a robot.
Of COURSE I am not a robot!
...the fuck wrong with you ?

Not necessary !
bad Haiku verse is strictly
unnecessary.

This is my vengeance
upon the Haiku verse-form:
hours of boredom.

Oh Haiku warriors,
compose yourselves. Get ready.
Battle commences.

I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Lets go home and fuck.

You're my only friend
And I'm not sure you like me
At least I have that

Saw you standing there
All covered with Bad Haiku
Sandpaper tongue bath

Do you knit doll clothes?
No, these are penis sweaters.
What size will you need?

Visit our kiosk
Conveniently located
In my dog's rear end