BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
277 Days
65581 Haikus
Now watch me neigh neigh
New Horseshoes! Clip Clop Clip Clop!
Road apples for you
Haiku #59353, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 2:09 pm ET

With the new enhanced neurons that Elon Musk is inventing kangaroos can be programmed to deliver packages in their pouches. Look out UPS, FedEx, and USPS!
Doesn't "Elon Musk" sound like a trashy perfume name?
I'm not a robot... yet. But perhaps soon... perhaps.
Haiku #59352, by
September 14, 2018 1:25 pm ET

I will never stop
Tap dancing on your sidewalk
Schizophrenic bitch!
Haiku #59351, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:01 pm ET

Northern Exposure
The Farmers Market pervert
Cucumber in hand
Haiku #59350, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:00 pm ET

Grey Sky Festival
Fresh Haiku bubbling up
Straight from my gizzards
Haiku #59349, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:57 am ET

Stuck in the window
Like Magilla Gorilla
Just might go apeshit!
Haiku #59348, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:54 am ET

Tongues are wagging!
Ye Olde Cunnilingus Shoppe
The talk of the town
Haiku #59347, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 11:26 am ET

Rearranging things
Reversed your nose and penis
You're such a dickhead
Haiku #59346, by Starkitten
September 14, 2018 12:48 am ET

Downward facing dong
Hot Yoga happy ending
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Haiku #59345, by Starktten
September 14, 2018 12:39 am ET

bad santa
Haiku #59344, by vhs of q anon knows whos been naughty
September 13, 2018 10:51 pm ET

Great mall memories
That's Ken Berry jacking off
In your Kinney shoe
Haiku #59343, by Starkitten
September 13, 2018 10:33 pm ET

Hunched out in long coils
The turds of one thousand dogs
All in your honour
Haiku #59342, by Starkitten
September 13, 2018 10:25 pm ET

Got my shopping done
Giving everyone Haiku
This one is for you
Haiku #59341, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 10:06 pm ET

Pictures with Santa
Your mom had her portrait done
Sitting on his dick
Haiku #59340, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 10:03 pm ET

woof woof woff, woof woof
woff bark bark woof howllll arf arf
woof woof woof...meow
Haiku #59339, by vhs of getting ready for the dogs barking jingle bells song
September 13, 2018 5:26 pm ET

Mall walk stomach cramp?
Seen your telltale hopping dance
You methane shaman

Disappear like Jim
Come on baby light my fire
Blue flame blast your pants

Dirty underwear
Scattered on Dawn's Highway, huh?
Plus size Underoos?
Haiku #59338, by Anonymous Poet
September 13, 2018 5:15 pm ET

And I too, have been
That doomed stranger in the mall
Asking "who farted" ?
Haiku #59337, by no means denigrating your case of poetic flatulence
September 13, 2018 3:06 pm ET

That breathy Bono:
Furious virtue-signaler
Hypocrite has-been.

Most of U2's songs
Are monotonous, and lack
Vibrant chord changes

Making up for it
In breathy histrionics
And churning fadeouts
Haiku #59336, by the way, most people haven't heard of Paul David what's his name
September 13, 2018 3:01 pm ET

A thousand dog turds.
Was an incomplete sentence.
And another one.
Haiku #59335, by
September 13, 2018 9:57 am ET

I have taken to
farting loudly as I walk
by strangers in malls.
Haiku #59334, by
September 13, 2018 9:55 am ET

Her enormous cunt,
gushing like Niagara Falls,
drowned the little man.
Haiku #59333, by
September 13, 2018 9:53 am ET

beaming into space
the facebook apocalypse
pouting narcissists

in dorito hues
instagram influencers
sell oblivion

our planet choking
in the rush to die pretty
ignorance distracts

it's all about me
aren't i the most important
as we go extinct
Haiku #59332, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:44 am ET

wasn't as bad as i thought
luckily for me

complete remission
at least for the time being
till something kills me
Haiku #59331, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:30 am ET

being humorous
sure beats being tumorous
rather die laughing
Haiku #59330, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:28 am ET

i got lymphoma
and seemed to become a cancer
formerly known as...
Haiku #59329, by ash
September 13, 2018 5:26 am ET

and of course the end
of the beginning, the whole phantom menace debacle
Haiku #59328, by vhs of it was not that bad
September 12, 2018 7:19 pm ET

names phrases words, vite
stimuli, some french dead guy
wrote a book just read
Haiku #59327, by vhs
September 12, 2018 7:18 pm ET

Do the same old thing
Like the zombie that you are.
Then try a new way
Haiku #59326, by learning to think of something beyond your SELF
September 12, 2018 10:32 am ET

Quick, make a "haiku"
Fling it out there like garbage
In order, then, to
Haiku #59325, by create a new name of everlasting GLORY
September 12, 2018 10:28 am ET

You wear "Pussy Hat"?
Pussy is an orifice.
Ain't no hat involved.
Haiku #59324, by Delusions of Feminism
September 12, 2018 10:23 am ET

The Book of Daniel
And St. John's Revelation:
Doomsday bestsellers
Haiku #59323, by it's always the beginning of the End
September 12, 2018 10:17 am ET

a hurricane
more may be coming to do
the human clean up

so dead dare praised for
we live in the end times, again
so stories go
Haiku #59322, by vhs of hell and 666th
September 11, 2018 10:24 pm ET

sometimes people want
to forget their humanity
to play anti God

they're still just human
hitler in a bunker was
The End for that then...

Hitler Parodies
Haiku #59321, by vhs
September 11, 2018 7:33 pm ET

Fight this civil war
Lyrically, poetically...
Haiku #59320, by Enraged Projections of the Left
September 11, 2018 2:07 pm ET

of course i will
have to fight you to my death
to protect humanity

from psychopaths like yourself
Haiku #59319, by vhs
September 11, 2018 12:30 pm ET

Just make some shit up
As long as Donald looks bad:
leaky, lying press.
Haiku #59318, by Anonymous Source of Haiku
September 11, 2018 12:25 pm ET

At first I believed
The narrative as supplied.
Now I'm wondering.
Haiku #59317, by 11th of September 2001
September 11, 2018 12:16 pm ET

Time needs a fast-forward button.
Other than a 100 year journey at 99% the speed of light.
I'd love to see the end of this stupid race.
To see this planet cleansed of this horrible filth called life.
Make Earth Great Again!
Deport all life-forms. Make them pay for it.
Every last amoeba and virus. Every long protein strand.
Kick them out. Only minerals, dust, water, and lava.
And the plastic McDonald's toys you once thought were so cute.
... I am, sadly, not a robot.
Haiku #59316, by
September 11, 2018 12:09 pm ET

i remember that
day all too clearly
my old man was watching planes crash into the twin towers
and it was the only time i had seen
terror on his face
sometimes the mask comes off
3000 plus were gone
we were are vulnerable
we remember today
we are americans, methinks
Haiku #59315, by vhs
September 11, 2018 10:37 am ET

those who were raised as
youth in nazi like eras of
patriotic extroversion

in their old age drive
their decendants into desiring
to quietly obseving

their own patriotic
discourse without the mindless
savagery of their extroversion
Haiku #59314, by vhs
September 11, 2018 10:28 am ET

Hey, almost forgot:
It's September eleventh,
Day of deceptions.
Haiku #59313, by Tragicomedy of Propaganda
September 11, 2018 8:59 am ET

I am not a robot.
Of COURSE I am not a robot!
...the fuck wrong with you ?
Haiku #59312, by Hirosaki Nagashima of all the stupid names you could imagine
September 11, 2018 8:55 am ET

Not necessary !
bad Haiku verse is strictly
Haiku #59311, by Nagashima Hirosaki of Sake Tumi
September 11, 2018 8:53 am ET

This is my vengeance
upon the Haiku verse-form:
hours of boredom.
Haiku #59310, by Harajuku of Harakiri
September 11, 2018 8:50 am ET

Oh Haiku warriors,
compose yourselves. Get ready.
Battle commences.
Haiku #59309, by Sukiyaki-san of Shinjuku
September 11, 2018 8:48 am ET

I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Lets go home and fuck.
Haiku #59308, by
September 11, 2018 3:46 am ET

You're my only friend
And I'm not sure you like me
At least I have that
Haiku #59307, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
September 10, 2018 9:53 pm ET

Saw you standing there
All covered with Bad Haiku
Sandpaper tongue bath
Haiku #59306, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest All Cat Day Spa
September 10, 2018 8:41 pm ET

Do you knit doll clothes?
No, these are penis sweaters.
What size will you need?
Haiku #59305, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Custom Knit Penis Sweaters
September 10, 2018 8:35 pm ET

Visit our kiosk
Conveniently located
In my dog's rear end
Haiku #59304, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Anal Poolius 10 % Discount for Tortoises
September 10, 2018 8:25 pm ET