Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 20 Days and 76192 Haiku later...

I've gotten so old
that I forgot how to count.
One, two, three, four... then?
Haiku # 59416, September 17, 2018 6:37 pm ET
by df
A cup of coffee.
A good bowel movement.
The morning's complete.
Haiku # 59415, September 17, 2018 6:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, the Highly Inappropriate
Ordering pizza
Having it delivered here
Like Jeff Spicoli
Haiku # 59414, September 17, 2018 6:26 pm ET
by Starkitten of Fast Times at Pacific Northwest High
Furnace repair man
Should have married one. Oily smell!
Intoxicating!!
Haiku # 59413, September 17, 2018 6:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Wicked Whoopie Pies
Gooey frosting overload
Stephen King's jizzum
Haiku # 59412, September 17, 2018 12:36 pm ET
by Starkitten
Poopie Pants Supreme,
Master of All Toilet Bowls,
Clogger of Sewers!
Haiku # 59411, September 17, 2018 11:29 am ET
by
Not always, my man.
I wish she would go bye bye.
She's gotten so fat!
Haiku # 59410, September 17, 2018 11:28 am ET
by
Calling Starkitten:
Hey, how about something new
(like... talk about sex)
Haiku # 59409, September 17, 2018 11:10 am ET
by and by, the peace of pie in the sky
The Way Life Should Be ?
Yet more third-world immigrants;
Vacationland . . . not.
Haiku # 59408, September 17, 2018 11:06 am ET
by the way, I am aware of recent events in Lewiston
Need some more, more, MORE!
Gimme verses, got to score
Rushing, to the core.
Haiku # 59407, September 17, 2018 10:59 am ET
by Haiku is one hell of a drug
Pilipina bride
marry American man.
Get green card. Bye bye!
Haiku # 59406, September 17, 2018 10:56 am ET
by the wave-lapped shores of Paradise
TRUMP still our king.
Left try almost everything.
Now fat lady sing!
Haiku # 59405, September 17, 2018 10:50 am ET
by now you should beware the madness of the Progressive Mind
Them pale, fat Maine girls:
Locked up half year in wintuh.
Ayuh, finest kind . . .
Haiku # 59404, September 17, 2018 10:43 am ET
by Somewhere south of Skowhegan
That Downeast Maine charm:
Blackflies, beanos, snow . . .
It's still wicked good!
Haiku # 59403, September 17, 2018 10:37 am ET
by golly them flatlanduhs is full of their own piss and vineguh
Heaven, without you
would be no Heaven at all.
You better get SAVED !
Haiku # 59402, September 17, 2018 10:33 am ET
by the Glorious Gospel of our Lord and Savior
Twerking in grade school
has replaced mathematics,
writing, and drug use.

I miss shooting up
at kindergarten recess.
Ah, the good old days.

Now it's pole dancing
to pop music like strippers
and I want to puke.
Haiku # 59401, September 17, 2018 8:46 am ET
by
irony versus
blasphemy, do not tempt me
my cross, torn, rotted
Haiku # 59400, September 17, 2018 8:45 am ET
by vhs
That delicacy
Art Bell mentioned it on air
Coast to Coast program
Haiku # 59399, September 17, 2018 2:37 am ET
by Starkitten of I like cereal
From the Philippines.
Dog stew and chicken fetus.
Google "balut egg".

My wife's drunk brother
ate three of those on fine night.
Made me want to barf.

They eat it at night
so they won't have to see it.
Also they're drunk then.

Virgin prostitutes.
A land of hypocrisy.
Pride and pollution.
Haiku # 59398, September 17, 2018 1:51 am ET
by
Nana from Rockland
Starkitten from New England
Give me some fried clams
Rockland
Haiku # 59397, September 16, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by Starkitten
I"m fine here you see
Maine you know Maine? That place
tell everyone else...

out out out!
Haiku # 59396, September 16, 2018 8:54 pm ET
by vhs of apple orchards and lobsters and blueberries
Okay, enough fun.
I have to get back to work.
But first I'll go Trump.
Haiku # 59395, September 16, 2018 8:37 pm ET
by rekcupgiF htraD of 9th Level of Hell. It's nice here. Fishing, nice cheese markets, fresh fruit, clean air. You'd like it here.
Schwan's man is so hot
His whole truckload defrosted
Showed him my haiku
Haiku # 59394, September 16, 2018 8:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
You think my spirit
cannot write a bad haiku?!
I am George Carlin!
Haiku # 59393, September 16, 2018 8:33 pm ET
by George Carlin's Spirit
When I poop I say,
"Time to take a Donald Trump."
But that insults poop.

Poop can make things grow.
Trump is just a parasite.
Financial tapeworm.
Haiku # 59392, September 16, 2018 8:31 pm ET
by Alan Greenspan
carlin is dead...kay
i saw him in 1995
but he's dead now kay
Haiku # 59391, September 16, 2018 8:28 pm ET
by vhs
Cunt shit motherfuck.
Titty ass cock-sucker bitch.
Twat balls Donald Trump.
Haiku # 59390, September 16, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by George Carlin
Fuel up. Breakfast shake
High fructose goon syrup
Soar like an eagle!

Aerobic Dancing
Breakdancing on old cardboard!
Bustin' all my moves
Haiku # 59389, September 16, 2018 2:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Killing it
They never tell you
The meat was squirrel or possum
Til dessert arrives
Haiku # 59388, September 15, 2018 10:49 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fall. Leaves underfoot
Hello dog mess my old friend
Stepped in you again
Haiku # 59387, September 15, 2018 10:43 pm ET
by Starkitten
Wrinkled Grandfather
Whittling on the front porch
New dildo for Gran

Wilfred Brimleyesque
Werther's candy in pockets
Sticky. Fossilized.
Haiku # 59386, September 15, 2018 10:32 pm ET
by Starkitten
Leaves crunch underfoot
Bear defecating in woods.
Old question answered
Haiku # 59385, September 15, 2018 10:28 pm ET
by Starkitten
Cover in silence
Gliding leaf brings joy once more
Mountains reach sudden
Haiku # 59384, September 15, 2018 10:06 pm ET
by MONARCH
I think after all
is said and done whatever
we do we're all fucked...
Haiku # 59383, September 15, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by vhs of but live while you still got the gift of life
Ass candles galore
Illuminating nada
coal black hole prevails
Haiku # 59382, September 15, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Lush
Can of pink salmon
They kept it as a house pet
At least three decades
Haiku # 59381, September 15, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by Starkitten
I show up on time
Nose to the haiku grindstone
Big promotion soon
Haiku # 59380, September 15, 2018 7:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
just play dark side of
the moon while watching said hated
films, fun for all

munchkin suicides
illuminati symbols
and melting witches
Haiku # 59379, September 15, 2018 5:51 pm ET
by vhs
Barry Manilow
Can't smile without you, Dude
Turn frown upside down
Haiku # 59378, September 15, 2018 2:54 pm ET
by Starkitten
Just for the record
I hate The Wizard of Oz
Thank you for your time

I
Haiku # 59377, September 15, 2018 1:08 pm ET
by Starkitten
i wonder if i
make darth say his name backwards
he goes back to the

fifth dimension for
5 months like that little guy
from the superman
comics
Haiku # 59376, September 15, 2018 9:09 am ET
by vhs of rewind...nah, so 1980s
Hey, hold out your arm
I'll give you a free tattoo
Make it: Bad Haiku
Haiku # 59375, September 15, 2018 12:43 am ET
by Starkitten
I wrote you a check
For one million Bad Haiku
The least I could do
Haiku # 59374, September 15, 2018 12:08 am ET
by Starkitten
VHS, confess
You like Starkitten Haiku
Just a little bit
Haiku # 59373, September 14, 2018 9:16 pm ET
by Starkitten
The age old question
Which part of you is the dink?
I love Aliens!
Haiku # 59372, September 14, 2018 9:12 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest XXX Files
Or meet a fun gal
Perhaps her yeast infection
Will raise your spirits
Haiku # 59371, September 14, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by Starkitten
Watch for bad mushroom
You might land on a "fungi"
With a bad disease
Haiku # 59370, September 14, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by Starkitten
Try nude somersaults
In your front yard or a park
Careful after dark
Haiku # 59369, September 14, 2018 9:03 pm ET
by Starkitten
Yes, Cunnilingus.
Mathematician in the house?
Calories burned/hour
Haiku # 59368, September 14, 2018 9:00 pm ET
by Starkitten
Fuck Sylvia Plath.
Dig up her bones and fuck them.
Put one up your ass.
Haiku # 59367, September 14, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
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