Fartologist, I.
My autobiography
title. Catchy, no?
by Darth Whorendous, ancient Sith Lord of the Gas Planets. Things are getting heavy.
Methane emissions
of dairy bovine pollute
the earth's atmosphere.
Almost as bad as
cars' fossil fuel combustion.
We need cow gas traps.
Put that waste to use.
Like for cooking hamburgers!
Where will it all end?!
by We need an asteroid. of A really, really BIG one. Like the "dinks" you enjoy.
Roger Water's song
called "Our Song" with Ron Geeson.
There are no Pan flutes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRGe8iK0jvE
by Music from The Body of By the way, which one's Pink?
If you eat horse dinks,
do you chop them while erect?
Juicier that way?
by I've got to give that a try! of Maybe carabao dink substitute.
Nothing plugs me up.
Regular as a pigeon.
Just like Old Faithful.
High-powered weapon.
Even butt-plugs won't plug me.
Three, two, one - KA-BOOM!
Sorry 'bout the mess.
But only just a little.
New spackled ceilings.
by So, have you had covid yet? of If so, how did you enjoy it? -- Your's Truly, China
I think you like cheese
because it plugs you up
That's my butt feeling
by Fart Scientist of Laboratory (pronounced lavatory)
Expensive cheese
you'd prostitute yourself for
I know you well, Darth
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Diarrhea jig
Wearing a brown tartan kilt
made from last night's stew
by Fartin' Tartan of 2 -ply, Scotland
Fart syncopation
accompanied by pan flute
K-Tel Order Now
by Flootie Patootie of Ghost pepper shootout
Leave us pigs alone
Let us roll in mud and shit
Go eat somewhere else
by Disgruntled Pig of Rolling in mud and shit
You are very wise
Reading that made me crave pork
and also fear pork
by Gravy of Totally Toxic
Where are you horse dinks?
How 'bout a shout-out for me?
John Boy Walton's mole
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
Oh, I will eat pork.
Especially if free bacon.
Jewish tradition.
I love a ham sub.
Lots of veggies and dijon.
On toasted wheat bread.
But roast pork is gross.
The flavor can't be erased.
It tastes so... toxic.
by Loaded with pesticides growth hormone. Seriously, get a pig raised on good food, it tastes pretty good. Philippinos have a way of fucking up food beyond comprehension. Should have moved to Thailand. Live & learn... Live at any rate.
Since Darth gave up pork
He's forgotten how it tastes
He's got hamnesia
by Meathead of Memory Lane
If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.
by And vice versa.
those things don't matter
when you don't quite remember
whatever it was
by ash
Hot Delivery
The pizza was delicious
He gave ME a tip!
by Satisfied Customer of Down on the floor
Order a pizza
Answer the door in the nude
Money in ass crack
by Ben Dover of Free Pizza. Works like a charm.
Break it up, poets
Don't make me come over there
and fart in your face
by Methane Mediator of Methane Mediation Services (smells like dead meat)
my collected work ?
22 years of haiku
mostly without trump
by ash
Hey Ash, without Trump
You'd have no inspiration.
I think he's your muse.
by Orange Cheeto Muse and Love of Ash's Life
he's made history
a legend in his own mind
roll the discredits
by ash
North Pole hooker farts.
Frosty toots of prostitutes.
Keeps Santa Claus warm.
by Have you been a naughty girl this year?
Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.
I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.
You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!
by Dying for Fame? of Yep, whores do that.
Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.
House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.
I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.
by To pee or not to pee. of Urination in yer nation.
Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:
And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".
by DW of They should have at least given him a moment to whip it out.
Bad Haiku News
House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump
by 'Incitement of Insurrection' of Washington D.C.
Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.
by Tell me about it, girl friend! of Dreadful, just dreadful!
www.loser.com
by Anonymous Poet
Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
by Fake like everything else about you.
Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
by ash
If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
by ash
twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
by ash
Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.
The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.
Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
by You know it's true.
I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
