BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
64 Days
69622 Haikus
Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.

I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.

You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!
Haiku #69551, by Dying for Fame? of Yep, whores do that.
January 11, 2021 6:31 pm ET

Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.

House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.

I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.
Haiku #69550, by To pee or not to pee. of Urination in yer nation.
January 11, 2021 4:46 pm ET

Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:

And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".
Haiku #69549, by DW of They should have at least given him a moment to whip it out.
January 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump
Haiku #69548, by 'Incitement of Insurrection' of Washington D.C.
January 11, 2021 11:43 am ET

Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.
Haiku #69547, by Tell me about it, girl friend! of Dreadful, just dreadful!
January 11, 2021 10:12 am ET
Haiku #69546, by Anonymous Poet
January 11, 2021 7:25 am ET
Haiku #69545, by doctorat of california
January 11, 2021 7:12 am ET

Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
Haiku #69544, by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
January 11, 2021 6:23 am ET

Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
Haiku #69543, by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
January 11, 2021 6:17 am ET

Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
Haiku #69542, by Fake like everything else about you.
January 11, 2021 6:12 am ET

Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
Haiku #69541, by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
January 11, 2021 6:10 am ET

Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku #69540, by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET

There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku #69539, by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET

What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku #69538, by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET

What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku #69537, by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET

I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku #69536, by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET

i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku #69535, by ash
January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET

If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku #69534, by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET

Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku #69533, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET

qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku #69532, by ash
January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET

twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku #69531, by ash
January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET

Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku #69530, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET

Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku #69529, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET

With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku #69528, by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET

There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku #69527, by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET

Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku #69526, by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET

Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku #69525, by You know it's true.
January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET

I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku #69524, by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku #69523, by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET

Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku #69522, by Janis of T.
January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET

Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku #69521, by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET

Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku #69520, by Sin-amen.
January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET

Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku #69519, by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET

New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku #69518, by Put on your helmets, please.
January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET

Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku #69517, by Funtcart funtcart funt.
January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET

Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku #69516, by I will make it legal!
January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET

I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku #69515, by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET

If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.
Haiku #69514, by
January 9, 2021 7:37 pm ET

Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.
Haiku #69513, by That's what he gets for what he did to Sally. of She still can't fart normally.
January 9, 2021 7:04 pm ET

Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.
Haiku #69512, by Putrid pancakes. of Toxic turnovers.
January 9, 2021 6:59 pm ET

Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.
Haiku #69511, by I peed in the coffee. of That Nutella might taste strange.
January 9, 2021 6:56 pm ET

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Haiku #69510, by SellAccs of United Kingdom
January 9, 2021 2:23 pm ET

Sometimes Dad would dream
of butchering the family
except for Alice
Haiku #69509, by Kitty Carlisle of Overheard
January 9, 2021 2:10 pm ET

Florence Henderson
probably liked it up the butt
That's my gut feeling
Haiku #69508, by The restless ghost of Merv Griffin
January 9, 2021 2:06 pm ET

Which brings to my mind
Such a fabulous staircase
Did they own a Slinky?
Haiku #69507, by I. Had more toys than them of Poverty Line
January 9, 2021 2:03 pm ET

Where are Greg's white socks?
That Brady Bunch episode
Jan's first period
Haiku #69506, by PMS (Pilferer of Men's socks) of Top Drawer
January 9, 2021 1:58 pm ET

Darth is the driver.
He starts playing with himself.
Look out for that TRUUUUCK !!@$%$&*
Haiku #69505, by Jaws of Life
January 9, 2021 12:04 pm ET

Oh lamentations,
the mighty Donald is blocked.
Oh ye minions, weep.
Haiku #69504, by Second Coming of Trump
January 9, 2021 9:14 am ET

Hey, Somalia:
We need some clits over here
(for all our trannies)
Haiku #69503, by Enlightened Surgeon of Gender Studies
January 9, 2021 9:09 am ET

I must disagree.
Haiku's like taking a piss.
zip, tinkle, shake zip.
Haiku #69502, by 2 minutes and done. of Not 40 minutes, not in public.
January 9, 2021 8:17 am ET