Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 66 Days and 74635 Haiku later...
Haiku # 69546, January 11, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
Haiku # 69544, January 11, 2021 6:23 am ET
by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
Haiku # 69543, January 11, 2021 6:17 am ET
by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
Haiku # 69542, January 11, 2021 6:12 am ET
by Fake like everything else about you.
Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
Haiku # 69541, January 11, 2021 6:10 am ET
by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku # 69540, January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku # 69539, January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET
by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku # 69538, January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku # 69537, January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku # 69536, January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku # 69535, January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by ash
If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku # 69534, January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku # 69533, January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku # 69532, January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by ash
twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku # 69531, January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET
by ash
Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku # 69530, January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku # 69529, January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku # 69528, January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET
by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku # 69527, January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku # 69526, January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku # 69525, January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by You know it's true.
I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku # 69524, January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku # 69523, January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku # 69522, January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Janis of T.
Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku # 69521, January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku # 69520, January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Sin-amen.
Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku # 69519, January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku # 69518, January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Put on your helmets, please.
Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku # 69517, January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt.
Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku # 69516, January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I will make it legal!
I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku # 69515, January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.
Haiku # 69514, January 9, 2021 7:37 pm ET
Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.
Haiku # 69513, January 9, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's what he gets for what he did to Sally. of She still can't fart normally.
Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.
Haiku # 69512, January 9, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by Putrid pancakes. of Toxic turnovers.
Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.
Haiku # 69511, January 9, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by I peed in the coffee. of That Nutella might taste strange.
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Haiku # 69510, January 9, 2021 2:23 pm ET
by SellAccs of United Kingdom
Sometimes Dad would dream
of butchering the family
except for Alice
Haiku # 69509, January 9, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Kitty Carlisle of Overheard
Florence Henderson
probably liked it up the butt
That's my gut feeling
Haiku # 69508, January 9, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by The restless ghost of Merv Griffin
Which brings to my mind
Such a fabulous staircase
Did they own a Slinky?
Haiku # 69507, January 9, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by I. Had more toys than them of Poverty Line
Where are Greg's white socks?
That Brady Bunch episode
Jan's first period
Haiku # 69506, January 9, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by PMS (Pilferer of Men's socks) of Top Drawer
Darth is the driver.
He starts playing with himself.
Look out for that TRUUUUCK !!@$%$&*
Haiku # 69505, January 9, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Jaws of Life
Oh lamentations,
the mighty Donald is blocked.
Oh ye minions, weep.
Haiku # 69504, January 9, 2021 9:14 am ET
by Second Coming of Trump
Hey, Somalia:
We need some clits over here
(for all our trannies)
Haiku # 69503, January 9, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Enlightened Surgeon of Gender Studies
I must disagree.
Haiku's like taking a piss.
zip, tinkle, shake zip.
Haiku # 69502, January 9, 2021 8:17 am ET
by 2 minutes and done. of Not 40 minutes, not in public.
despondent donald
they took away his rattle
and not before time
Haiku # 69501, January 9, 2021 6:06 am ET
by ash
Ghislaine Prisonbrain
I supply girls. Jeff molests
Wishing her the best
Haiku # 69500, January 9, 2021 1:24 am ET
by Epstein's Mother of Starbucks
This super hot guy
sits down next to me and just
writes haiku poems
Haiku # 69499, January 9, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Missed Meetings of Darthslist
I find your lack of
syllables disturbing... Ackk..
Arrgg oooph cra.. Ka... Uhhhh...
Haiku # 69498, January 8, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by You've been Force strangled by Darth Whorendous! of Was it good for you too?
Depends on species.
Either one snacks in Thailand.
But don't eat the legs.
Haiku # 69497, January 8, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by The legs will stick in your throat. of Grasshoppers are much better.
Wall to wall shag
vaginal carpeting sale
Free matching curtains!
Haiku # 69496, January 8, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Threadbare of Down there
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