Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 277 Days and 75965 Haiku later...

Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku # 69540, January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku # 69539, January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET
by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku # 69538, January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku # 69537, January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku # 69536, January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku # 69535, January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by ash
If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku # 69534, January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku # 69533, January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku # 69532, January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by ash
twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku # 69531, January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET
by ash
Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku # 69530, January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku # 69529, January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku # 69528, January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET
by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku # 69527, January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku # 69526, January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku # 69525, January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by You know it's true.
I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku # 69524, January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku # 69523, January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku # 69522, January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Janis of T.
Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku # 69521, January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku # 69520, January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Sin-amen.
Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku # 69519, January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku # 69518, January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Put on your helmets, please.
Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku # 69517, January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt.
Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku # 69516, January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I will make it legal!
I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku # 69515, January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.
Haiku # 69514, January 9, 2021 7:37 pm ET
Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.
Haiku # 69513, January 9, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's what he gets for what he did to Sally. of She still can't fart normally.
Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.
Haiku # 69512, January 9, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by Putrid pancakes. of Toxic turnovers.
Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.
Haiku # 69511, January 9, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by I peed in the coffee. of That Nutella might taste strange.
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Haiku # 69510, January 9, 2021 2:23 pm ET
by SellAccs of United Kingdom
Sometimes Dad would dream
of butchering the family
except for Alice
Haiku # 69509, January 9, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Kitty Carlisle of Overheard
Florence Henderson
probably liked it up the butt
That's my gut feeling
Haiku # 69508, January 9, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by The restless ghost of Merv Griffin
Which brings to my mind
Such a fabulous staircase
Did they own a Slinky?
Haiku # 69507, January 9, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by I. Had more toys than them of Poverty Line
Where are Greg's white socks?
That Brady Bunch episode
Jan's first period
Haiku # 69506, January 9, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by PMS (Pilferer of Men's socks) of Top Drawer
Darth is the driver.
He starts playing with himself.
Look out for that TRUUUUCK !!@$%$&*
Haiku # 69505, January 9, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Jaws of Life
Oh lamentations,
the mighty Donald is blocked.
Oh ye minions, weep.
Haiku # 69504, January 9, 2021 9:14 am ET
by Second Coming of Trump
Hey, Somalia:
We need some clits over here
(for all our trannies)
Haiku # 69503, January 9, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Enlightened Surgeon of Gender Studies
I must disagree.
Haiku's like taking a piss.
zip, tinkle, shake zip.
Haiku # 69502, January 9, 2021 8:17 am ET
by 2 minutes and done. of Not 40 minutes, not in public.
despondent donald
they took away his rattle
and not before time
Haiku # 69501, January 9, 2021 6:06 am ET
by ash
Ghislaine Prisonbrain
I supply girls. Jeff molests
Wishing her the best
Haiku # 69500, January 9, 2021 1:24 am ET
by Epstein's Mother of Starbucks
This super hot guy
sits down next to me and just
writes haiku poems
Haiku # 69499, January 9, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Missed Meetings of Darthslist
I find your lack of
syllables disturbing... Ackk..
Arrgg oooph cra.. Ka... Uhhhh...
Haiku # 69498, January 8, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by You've been Force strangled by Darth Whorendous! of Was it good for you too?
Depends on species.
Either one snacks in Thailand.
But don't eat the legs.
Haiku # 69497, January 8, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by The legs will stick in your throat. of Grasshoppers are much better.
Wall to wall shag
vaginal carpeting sale
Free matching curtains!
Haiku # 69496, January 8, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Threadbare of Down there
If a centipede
fucks a millipede
How much legs is that?
Haiku # 69495, January 8, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Darth will know of He's the Human Calculator
This super hot girl comes and sits next to me and for about 30 minutes has done nothing but fuck with her make up. I mean, I could slap this bitch, I really could. If there were no laws. Cell phone, make up, camera, repeat. So sad, such a waste. I know, it's not a haiku, I don't care, 17 syllables cannot contain my disappointment with what we have become. I give up.
Haiku # 69494, January 8, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Where's my fucking surf board?! of Take me back asap!!!!
I'm glad that's over.
I can't take much more of this.
And now I forgot.
Haiku # 69493, January 8, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat.
What did you think of
House of 1000 Corpses?
Too realistic?
Haiku # 69492, January 8, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by We need something like that again. of But in real life.
Hannibal Lector,
as played by the tallented
Anthony Hopkins.
Haiku # 69491, January 8, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by Nom nom nom nom nom. of Basement kitchen
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