BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
67 Days
and
69674 Haikus
later...
Depends on species.
Either one snacks in Thailand.
But don't eat the legs.
Haiku #69497, by The legs will stick in your throat. of Grasshoppers are much better.
January 8, 2021 11:45 pm ET

Wall to wall shag
vaginal carpeting sale
Free matching curtains!
Haiku #69496, by Threadbare of Down there
January 8, 2021 11:29 pm ET

If a centipede
fucks a millipede
How much legs is that?
Haiku #69495, by Darth will know of He's the Human Calculator
January 8, 2021 11:04 pm ET

This super hot girl comes and sits next to me and for about 30 minutes has done nothing but fuck with her make up. I mean, I could slap this bitch, I really could. If there were no laws. Cell phone, make up, camera, repeat. So sad, such a waste. I know, it's not a haiku, I don't care, 17 syllables cannot contain my disappointment with what we have become. I give up.
Haiku #69494, by Where's my fucking surf board?! of Take me back asap!!!!
January 8, 2021 10:13 pm ET

I'm glad that's over.
I can't take much more of this.
And now I forgot.
Haiku #69493, by Lather, rinse, repeat.
January 8, 2021 10:09 pm ET

What did you think of
House of 1000 Corpses?
Too realistic?
Haiku #69492, by We need something like that again. of But in real life.
January 8, 2021 9:58 pm ET

Hannibal Lector,
as played by the tallented
Anthony Hopkins.
Haiku #69491, by Nom nom nom nom nom. of Basement kitchen
January 8, 2021 9:57 pm ET

You're a filthy wretch.
You write truly bad haiku.
You need Jesus Christ.
Haiku #69490, by Poetic Messenger of Revulsion
January 8, 2021 7:12 pm ET

Look in your closet
Extraterrestrial dink
Tell him to phone home!
Haiku #69489, by Have you seen my wrinkly abducted alien? of Would you like to?
January 8, 2021 7:09 pm ET

Engendered Reese's.
Peanut butter cups with pubes.
I found a wrong way.
Haiku #69488, by Hey, that's not peanut butter! of Slip of the tongue.
January 8, 2021 6:40 pm ET

Endangered feces
Someone keeps flushing my work
I'll just hold it in
Haiku #69487, by New Customer of Manure Bank
January 8, 2021 12:37 pm ET

Two headed penis
Fighting twin cobra snakes
Suck out the venom!
Haiku #69486, by Sir Pence of In my pants
January 8, 2021 7:45 am ET

Bad Haiku News

Norway's penis show
about man with huge children
stirs pancake batter.
Haiku #69485, by Viking dork stick of Fishy smelling flapjacks.
January 8, 2021 6:51 am ET

Bad Haiku News

Denmark children's show
about man with huge penis
stirs controversy
Haiku #69484, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 8, 2021 4:47 am ET

Bad Haiku News

Boeing settlement
Musk overtakes Bezos wealth
Facebook bans Trump posts
Haiku #69483, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 8, 2021 4:37 am ET

High on meth lately
Come smell my farts while I tweak
Let's eat some more beans
Haiku #69482, by Tweaking Twerker of Methane Lane
January 8, 2021 3:52 am ET

Grab your boogie shoes!
Barn dance at the Booger Farm
Pick'em and Flick'em
Haiku #69481, by Nose Vegetable of Booger Farm
January 8, 2021 1:46 am ET

Purple Haze Strip tease
Grapes squished by real Italians
Your banana's huge!
Haiku #69480, by In the Produce of Grocery Store, Phillipines
January 8, 2021 1:41 am ET

see the trump puppet
watch him read the lines he must
unbelievably
Haiku #69479, by ash
January 8, 2021 1:10 am ET

.sdrawkcab siht etirw ll'I
!?ton lleh eht yhw ekil esuaceB
.gabehcuod a hcus er'uoY
Haiku #69478, by .mraf regoob eht yuB of 000,054$ ylnO
January 7, 2021 10:27 pm ET

Frogs don't think too much.
Poodle the next cloud you see.
That was some rescue.
Haiku #69477, by Jimmy crack corn.
January 7, 2021 10:04 pm ET

The Doors or Hendrix?
Pornography or strip joints?
Bananas or grapes?
Haiku #69476, by Morris the Cat.
January 7, 2021 8:09 pm ET

They get out of breath,
going up and down the stairs.
Lazy little farts.
Haiku #69475, by We wish you a Merry Christmas. of Just joking, not really.
January 7, 2021 8:05 pm ET

That sounds so creepy.
3rd grade girls in men's rest rooms
to get the boogers.
Haiku #69474, by You should be ashamed of yourself!
January 7, 2021 7:27 pm ET

You're a dirty whore.
I mean that in a good way.
Kids want new ipad.
Haiku #69473, by My schlong no longer reeks of expired Jimmy Dean sausages. Praise Jesus!!!
January 7, 2021 7:22 pm ET

The wall is not mine.
It is not my creation.
It belongs to all.

I don't know the guy
who first parked boogers over
that one urinal.

I just made the farm.
The booger farm on the wall.
My contribution.
Haiku #69472, by You were watching through the glory hole. of Those dicks aren't going to suck themselves. Get back to work!!!
January 7, 2021 7:13 pm ET

Why would she do that?
Why couldn't she just enjoy
your cool booger wall?
Haiku #69471, by Secret Admirer of Parallel Universe 1970s ish
January 7, 2021 6:39 pm ET

Would you ever date
a girl who eats her boogers
and then asks for yours?
Haiku #69470, by 3rd grade hot romance.
January 7, 2021 4:38 pm ET

Now, about Lin Wood . . .
Is he SURE about Roberts?
Cause Here Come de Judge.
Haiku #69469, by Flip Wilson of Tennis Racket
January 7, 2021 12:27 pm ET

Better than Twitter,
Tik-Tok, Instagram, Facebook:
Bad Haiku. (The tits.)
Haiku #69468, by Hell Money of Gung Hee Fat Choy
January 7, 2021 12:25 pm ET

Oh gentle Jesu
Thou most holy Lamb of God
Mary's precious Son
Haiku #69467, by Higher than Before on Smoke of Hell
January 7, 2021 12:13 pm ET

Bring it ON bitches.
Got my haiku hoochies here
One on each side. Damn.
Haiku #69466, by Chivalrous Gentleman of the Old South (Newark)
January 7, 2021 12:07 pm ET

Just getting started.
I'm lighting my crack-pipe now
for the Holy LORD
Haiku #69465, by High as Hell of Heavenly Haiku
January 7, 2021 12:04 pm ET

Shout from the rooftops
Cause I've SEEEeeeen the promised Land.
Yes, I have a dream . . .
Haiku #69464, by Some Guy of Quavering Voice
January 7, 2021 12:02 pm ET

Gots ta GIT me some;
Git DOWN on that hot thang. UNGH!
That funky haiku...
Haiku #69463, by Bootyfunkalicious Astroblaster of Muthaship
January 7, 2021 11:57 am ET

We will bury you.
First we will liquidate you
With bad haiku (belch)
Haiku #69462, by Nikita Khruschev of Shoebanging in B+W
January 7, 2021 11:54 am ET

Let us make our stand.
Brothers, let us make our stand
Here, at Bad Haiku
Haiku #69461, by Driven to Desperate Measures of Poetry
January 7, 2021 11:49 am ET

I gots ta HAIKU.
Y'all don't undastand nuthin.
All about that VERSE.
Haiku #69460, by Tyrone of Old Luxembourg
January 7, 2021 11:48 am ET

Hang their foul guts high !
Parade their heads all through town!
(Bad haiku writers)
Haiku #69459, by Insurrection of Defection Detection
January 7, 2021 11:45 am ET

That Tucker Carlson
He will be the first to go
(sharpening my hoe)
Haiku #69458, by Haiku Ho Pimp of Sharply Dressed
January 7, 2021 11:28 am ET

Gurlz caint have BONERS.
Darth, you done gone plum CRAZY.
Too much Balot eggs.
Haiku #69457, by Hillbillary of the Fallacious Philippines
January 7, 2021 11:26 am ET

Storm the Bastille!
Send my stimulus check NOW.
(More Dominion votes.)
Haiku #69456, by TerraMar Foundation of Ghislaine Prisonbrain
January 7, 2021 11:23 am ET

Jest DEEplorabul.
Thass whut are gubbermint is.
We shore is angry.
Haiku #69455, by Erudite Knuckle-dragger of PHD in Poli Sci
January 7, 2021 11:21 am ET

Bad Haiku News

She had a boner.
Korean hotties dancing.
One hundred one beers.
Haiku #69454, by But who's counting?
January 7, 2021 6:43 am ET

Ghost peppers are hot,
but Carolina reapers
are freaking deadly.
Haiku #69453, by Fire tongue of fire water.
January 7, 2021 6:22 am ET

Nipple piercing's gay.
Not as gay as taint piercing.
But pretty damn close.
Haiku #69452, by Anything but trashy "fam" tattoos. of Cheap false love, if you know what I mean.
January 7, 2021 6:18 am ET

Lol, nice one.
Seriously cracked me up.
But lobster, not pork.
Haiku #69451, by Swine are nasty. of Especially here.
January 7, 2021 6:15 am ET

Shopper Arrested
Seen stealing expensive cheese
ghost peppers and pork
Haiku #69450, by Fuzz Buzz of Phillipines
January 7, 2021 3:27 am ET

Grocery Basket
You held it up with your dink
Milk, eggs, bread, ramen
Haiku #69449, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
January 7, 2021 3:14 am ET

Bad Haiku News

-----

Ossoff-Warnock win
Georgia Senate runoff vote
Dems flip the Senate

-----

Partisan vengeance
as Republicans challenge
State Elector votes

-----

Pro-Trump rioters
attack Capitol building
An attempted coup?

-----

4 dead in DC
as Pro-Trump rioters storm
Capitol building

-----

Insurrection fueled
by extremists factions and
conspiracy groups

-----
Haiku #69448, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 7, 2021 3:12 am ET