Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 19 Days and 74079 Haikus later...

Wall to wall shag
vaginal carpeting sale
Free matching curtains!
Haiku # 69496, January 8, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Threadbare of Down there
If a centipede
fucks a millipede
How much legs is that?
Haiku # 69495, January 8, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Darth will know of He's the Human Calculator
This super hot girl comes and sits next to me and for about 30 minutes has done nothing but fuck with her make up. I mean, I could slap this bitch, I really could. If there were no laws. Cell phone, make up, camera, repeat. So sad, such a waste. I know, it's not a haiku, I don't care, 17 syllables cannot contain my disappointment with what we have become. I give up.
Haiku # 69494, January 8, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Where's my fucking surf board?! of Take me back asap!!!!
I'm glad that's over.
I can't take much more of this.
And now I forgot.
Haiku # 69493, January 8, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat.
What did you think of
House of 1000 Corpses?
Too realistic?
Haiku # 69492, January 8, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by We need something like that again. of But in real life.
Hannibal Lector,
as played by the tallented
Anthony Hopkins.
Haiku # 69491, January 8, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by Nom nom nom nom nom. of Basement kitchen
You're a filthy wretch.
You write truly bad haiku.
You need Jesus Christ.
Haiku # 69490, January 8, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by Poetic Messenger of Revulsion
Look in your closet
Extraterrestrial dink
Tell him to phone home!
Haiku # 69489, January 8, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Have you seen my wrinkly abducted alien? of Would you like to?
Engendered Reese's.
Peanut butter cups with pubes.
I found a wrong way.
Haiku # 69488, January 8, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by Hey, that's not peanut butter! of Slip of the tongue.
Endangered feces
Someone keeps flushing my work
I'll just hold it in
Haiku # 69487, January 8, 2021 12:37 pm ET
by New Customer of Manure Bank
Two headed penis
Fighting twin cobra snakes
Suck out the venom!
Haiku # 69486, January 8, 2021 7:45 am ET
by Sir Pence of In my pants
Bad Haiku News

Norway's penis show
about man with huge children
stirs pancake batter.
Haiku # 69485, January 8, 2021 6:51 am ET
by Viking dork stick of Fishy smelling flapjacks.
Bad Haiku News

Denmark children's show
about man with huge penis
stirs controversy
Haiku # 69484, January 8, 2021 4:47 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Boeing settlement
Musk overtakes Bezos wealth
Facebook bans Trump posts
Haiku # 69483, January 8, 2021 4:37 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
High on meth lately
Come smell my farts while I tweak
Let's eat some more beans
Haiku # 69482, January 8, 2021 3:52 am ET
by Tweaking Twerker of Methane Lane
Grab your boogie shoes!
Barn dance at the Booger Farm
Pick'em and Flick'em
Haiku # 69481, January 8, 2021 1:46 am ET
by Nose Vegetable of Booger Farm
Purple Haze Strip tease
Grapes squished by real Italians
Your banana's huge!
Haiku # 69480, January 8, 2021 1:41 am ET
by In the Produce of Grocery Store, Phillipines
see the trump puppet
watch him read the lines he must
Haiku # 69479, January 8, 2021 1:10 am ET
by ash
.sdrawkcab siht etirw ll'I
!?ton lleh eht yhw ekil esuaceB
.gabehcuod a hcus er'uoY
Haiku # 69478, January 7, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by .mraf regoob eht yuB of 000,054$ ylnO
Frogs don't think too much.
Poodle the next cloud you see.
That was some rescue.
Haiku # 69477, January 7, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Jimmy crack corn.
The Doors or Hendrix?
Pornography or strip joints?
Bananas or grapes?
Haiku # 69476, January 7, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Morris the Cat.
They get out of breath,
going up and down the stairs.
Lazy little farts.
Haiku # 69475, January 7, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by We wish you a Merry Christmas. of Just joking, not really.
That sounds so creepy.
3rd grade girls in men's rest rooms
to get the boogers.
Haiku # 69474, January 7, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by You should be ashamed of yourself!
You're a dirty whore.
I mean that in a good way.
Kids want new ipad.
Haiku # 69473, January 7, 2021 7:22 pm ET
by My schlong no longer reeks of expired Jimmy Dean sausages. Praise Jesus!!!
The wall is not mine.
It is not my creation.
It belongs to all.

I don't know the guy
who first parked boogers over
that one urinal.

I just made the farm.
The booger farm on the wall.
My contribution.
Haiku # 69472, January 7, 2021 7:13 pm ET
by You were watching through the glory hole. of Those dicks aren't going to suck themselves. Get back to work!!!
Why would she do that?
Why couldn't she just enjoy
your cool booger wall?
Haiku # 69471, January 7, 2021 6:39 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Parallel Universe 1970s ish
Would you ever date
a girl who eats her boogers
and then asks for yours?
Haiku # 69470, January 7, 2021 4:38 pm ET
by 3rd grade hot romance.
Now, about Lin Wood . . .
Is he SURE about Roberts?
Cause Here Come de Judge.
Haiku # 69469, January 7, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by Flip Wilson of Tennis Racket
Better than Twitter,
Tik-Tok, Instagram, Facebook:
Bad Haiku. (The tits.)
Haiku # 69468, January 7, 2021 12:25 pm ET
by Hell Money of Gung Hee Fat Choy
Oh gentle Jesu
Thou most holy Lamb of God
Mary's precious Son
Haiku # 69467, January 7, 2021 12:13 pm ET
by Higher than Before on Smoke of Hell
Bring it ON bitches.
Got my haiku hoochies here
One on each side. Damn.
Haiku # 69466, January 7, 2021 12:07 pm ET
by Chivalrous Gentleman of the Old South (Newark)
Just getting started.
I'm lighting my crack-pipe now
for the Holy LORD
Haiku # 69465, January 7, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by High as Hell of Heavenly Haiku
Shout from the rooftops
Cause I've SEEEeeeen the promised Land.
Yes, I have a dream . . .
Haiku # 69464, January 7, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by Some Guy of Quavering Voice
Gots ta GIT me some;
Git DOWN on that hot thang. UNGH!
That funky haiku...
Haiku # 69463, January 7, 2021 11:57 am ET
by Bootyfunkalicious Astroblaster of Muthaship
We will bury you.
First we will liquidate you
With bad haiku (belch)
Haiku # 69462, January 7, 2021 11:54 am ET
by Nikita Khruschev of Shoebanging in B+W
Let us make our stand.
Brothers, let us make our stand
Here, at Bad Haiku
Haiku # 69461, January 7, 2021 11:49 am ET
by Driven to Desperate Measures of Poetry
I gots ta HAIKU.
Y'all don't undastand nuthin.
All about that VERSE.
Haiku # 69460, January 7, 2021 11:48 am ET
by Tyrone of Old Luxembourg
Hang their foul guts high !
Parade their heads all through town!
(Bad haiku writers)
Haiku # 69459, January 7, 2021 11:45 am ET
by Insurrection of Defection Detection
That Tucker Carlson
He will be the first to go
(sharpening my hoe)
Haiku # 69458, January 7, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Haiku Ho Pimp of Sharply Dressed
Gurlz caint have BONERS.
Darth, you done gone plum CRAZY.
Too much Balot eggs.
Haiku # 69457, January 7, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Hillbillary of the Fallacious Philippines
Storm the Bastille!
Send my stimulus check NOW.
(More Dominion votes.)
Haiku # 69456, January 7, 2021 11:23 am ET
by TerraMar Foundation of Ghislaine Prisonbrain
Jest DEEplorabul.
Thass whut are gubbermint is.
We shore is angry.
Haiku # 69455, January 7, 2021 11:21 am ET
by Erudite Knuckle-dragger of PHD in Poli Sci
Bad Haiku News

She had a boner.
Korean hotties dancing.
One hundred one beers.
Haiku # 69454, January 7, 2021 6:43 am ET
by But who's counting?
Ghost peppers are hot,
but Carolina reapers
are freaking deadly.
Haiku # 69453, January 7, 2021 6:22 am ET
by Fire tongue of fire water.
Nipple piercing's gay.
Not as gay as taint piercing.
But pretty damn close.
Haiku # 69452, January 7, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Anything but trashy "fam" tattoos. of Cheap false love, if you know what I mean.
Lol, nice one.
Seriously cracked me up.
But lobster, not pork.
Haiku # 69451, January 7, 2021 6:15 am ET
by Swine are nasty. of Especially here.
Shopper Arrested
Seen stealing expensive cheese
ghost peppers and pork
Haiku # 69450, January 7, 2021 3:27 am ET
by Fuzz Buzz of Phillipines
Grocery Basket
You held it up with your dink
Milk, eggs, bread, ramen
Haiku # 69449, January 7, 2021 3:14 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Bad Haiku News


Ossoff-Warnock win
Georgia Senate runoff vote
Dems flip the Senate


Partisan vengeance
as Republicans challenge
State Elector votes


Pro-Trump rioters
attack Capitol building
An attempted coup?


4 dead in DC
as Pro-Trump rioters storm
Capitol building


Insurrection fueled
by extremists factions and
conspiracy groups

Haiku # 69448, January 7, 2021 3:12 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Missed Meetings Craigslist
Saw you out shopping today
Squeezing the melons
Haiku # 69447, January 7, 2021 3:10 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
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