Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 277 Days and 75965 Haiku later...

I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku # 69524, January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku # 69523, January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku # 69522, January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Janis of T.
Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku # 69521, January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku # 69520, January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Sin-amen.
Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku # 69519, January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku # 69518, January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Put on your helmets, please.
Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku # 69517, January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt.
Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku # 69516, January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I will make it legal!
I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku # 69515, January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.
Haiku # 69514, January 9, 2021 7:37 pm ET
Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.
Haiku # 69513, January 9, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's what he gets for what he did to Sally. of She still can't fart normally.
Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.
Haiku # 69512, January 9, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by Putrid pancakes. of Toxic turnovers.
Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.
Haiku # 69511, January 9, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by I peed in the coffee. of That Nutella might taste strange.
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Haiku # 69510, January 9, 2021 2:23 pm ET
by SellAccs of United Kingdom
Sometimes Dad would dream
of butchering the family
except for Alice
Haiku # 69509, January 9, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Kitty Carlisle of Overheard
Florence Henderson
probably liked it up the butt
That's my gut feeling
Haiku # 69508, January 9, 2021 2:06 pm ET
by The restless ghost of Merv Griffin
Which brings to my mind
Such a fabulous staircase
Did they own a Slinky?
Haiku # 69507, January 9, 2021 2:03 pm ET
by I. Had more toys than them of Poverty Line
Where are Greg's white socks?
That Brady Bunch episode
Jan's first period
Haiku # 69506, January 9, 2021 1:58 pm ET
by PMS (Pilferer of Men's socks) of Top Drawer
Darth is the driver.
He starts playing with himself.
Look out for that TRUUUUCK !!@$%$&*
Haiku # 69505, January 9, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Jaws of Life
Oh lamentations,
the mighty Donald is blocked.
Oh ye minions, weep.
Haiku # 69504, January 9, 2021 9:14 am ET
by Second Coming of Trump
Hey, Somalia:
We need some clits over here
(for all our trannies)
Haiku # 69503, January 9, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Enlightened Surgeon of Gender Studies
I must disagree.
Haiku's like taking a piss.
zip, tinkle, shake zip.
Haiku # 69502, January 9, 2021 8:17 am ET
by 2 minutes and done. of Not 40 minutes, not in public.
despondent donald
they took away his rattle
and not before time
Haiku # 69501, January 9, 2021 6:06 am ET
by ash
Ghislaine Prisonbrain
I supply girls. Jeff molests
Wishing her the best
Haiku # 69500, January 9, 2021 1:24 am ET
by Epstein's Mother of Starbucks
This super hot guy
sits down next to me and just
writes haiku poems
Haiku # 69499, January 9, 2021 1:04 am ET
by Missed Meetings of Darthslist
I find your lack of
syllables disturbing... Ackk..
Arrgg oooph cra.. Ka... Uhhhh...
Haiku # 69498, January 8, 2021 11:51 pm ET
by You've been Force strangled by Darth Whorendous! of Was it good for you too?
Depends on species.
Either one snacks in Thailand.
But don't eat the legs.
Haiku # 69497, January 8, 2021 11:45 pm ET
by The legs will stick in your throat. of Grasshoppers are much better.
Wall to wall shag
vaginal carpeting sale
Free matching curtains!
Haiku # 69496, January 8, 2021 11:29 pm ET
by Threadbare of Down there
If a centipede
fucks a millipede
How much legs is that?
Haiku # 69495, January 8, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Darth will know of He's the Human Calculator
This super hot girl comes and sits next to me and for about 30 minutes has done nothing but fuck with her make up. I mean, I could slap this bitch, I really could. If there were no laws. Cell phone, make up, camera, repeat. So sad, such a waste. I know, it's not a haiku, I don't care, 17 syllables cannot contain my disappointment with what we have become. I give up.
Haiku # 69494, January 8, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Where's my fucking surf board?! of Take me back asap!!!!
I'm glad that's over.
I can't take much more of this.
And now I forgot.
Haiku # 69493, January 8, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat.
What did you think of
House of 1000 Corpses?
Too realistic?
Haiku # 69492, January 8, 2021 9:58 pm ET
by We need something like that again. of But in real life.
Hannibal Lector,
as played by the tallented
Anthony Hopkins.
Haiku # 69491, January 8, 2021 9:57 pm ET
by Nom nom nom nom nom. of Basement kitchen
You're a filthy wretch.
You write truly bad haiku.
You need Jesus Christ.
Haiku # 69490, January 8, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by Poetic Messenger of Revulsion
Look in your closet
Extraterrestrial dink
Tell him to phone home!
Haiku # 69489, January 8, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Have you seen my wrinkly abducted alien? of Would you like to?
Engendered Reese's.
Peanut butter cups with pubes.
I found a wrong way.
Haiku # 69488, January 8, 2021 6:40 pm ET
by Hey, that's not peanut butter! of Slip of the tongue.
Endangered feces
Someone keeps flushing my work
I'll just hold it in
Haiku # 69487, January 8, 2021 12:37 pm ET
by New Customer of Manure Bank
Two headed penis
Fighting twin cobra snakes
Suck out the venom!
Haiku # 69486, January 8, 2021 7:45 am ET
by Sir Pence of In my pants
Bad Haiku News

Norway's penis show
about man with huge children
stirs pancake batter.
Haiku # 69485, January 8, 2021 6:51 am ET
by Viking dork stick of Fishy smelling flapjacks.
Bad Haiku News

Denmark children's show
about man with huge penis
stirs controversy
Haiku # 69484, January 8, 2021 4:47 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Bad Haiku News

Boeing settlement
Musk overtakes Bezos wealth
Facebook bans Trump posts
Haiku # 69483, January 8, 2021 4:37 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
High on meth lately
Come smell my farts while I tweak
Let's eat some more beans
Haiku # 69482, January 8, 2021 3:52 am ET
by Tweaking Twerker of Methane Lane
Grab your boogie shoes!
Barn dance at the Booger Farm
Pick'em and Flick'em
Haiku # 69481, January 8, 2021 1:46 am ET
by Nose Vegetable of Booger Farm
Purple Haze Strip tease
Grapes squished by real Italians
Your banana's huge!
Haiku # 69480, January 8, 2021 1:41 am ET
by In the Produce of Grocery Store, Phillipines
see the trump puppet
watch him read the lines he must
Haiku # 69479, January 8, 2021 1:10 am ET
by ash
.sdrawkcab siht etirw ll'I
!?ton lleh eht yhw ekil esuaceB
.gabehcuod a hcus er'uoY
Haiku # 69478, January 7, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by .mraf regoob eht yuB of 000,054$ ylnO
Frogs don't think too much.
Poodle the next cloud you see.
That was some rescue.
Haiku # 69477, January 7, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Jimmy crack corn.
The Doors or Hendrix?
Pornography or strip joints?
Bananas or grapes?
Haiku # 69476, January 7, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Morris the Cat.
They get out of breath,
going up and down the stairs.
Lazy little farts.
Haiku # 69475, January 7, 2021 8:05 pm ET
by We wish you a Merry Christmas. of Just joking, not really.
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