Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 328 Days and 76098 Haiku later...

If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.
Haiku # 69560, January 12, 2021 7:39 am ET
by And vice versa.
those things don't matter
when you don't quite remember
whatever it was
Haiku # 69559, January 12, 2021 7:13 am ET
by ash
Hot Delivery
The pizza was delicious
He gave ME a tip!
Haiku # 69558, January 12, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Satisfied Customer of Down on the floor
Order a pizza
Answer the door in the nude
Money in ass crack
Haiku # 69557, January 12, 2021 3:39 am ET
by Ben Dover of Free Pizza. Works like a charm.
Break it up, poets
Don't make me come over there
and fart in your face
Haiku # 69556, January 12, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Methane Mediator of Methane Mediation Services (smells like dead meat)
my collected work ?
22 years of haiku
mostly without trump
Haiku # 69555, January 12, 2021 12:36 am ET
by ash
Hey Ash, without Trump
You'd have no inspiration.
I think he's your muse.
Haiku # 69554, January 11, 2021 9:24 pm ET
by Orange Cheeto Muse and Love of Ash's Life
he's made history
a legend in his own mind
roll the discredits
Haiku # 69553, January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET
by ash
North Pole hooker farts.
Frosty toots of prostitutes.
Keeps Santa Claus warm.
Haiku # 69552, January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET
by Have you been a naughty girl this year?
Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.

I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.

You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!
Haiku # 69551, January 11, 2021 6:31 pm ET
by Dying for Fame? of Yep, whores do that.
Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.

House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.

I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.
Haiku # 69550, January 11, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by To pee or not to pee. of Urination in yer nation.
Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:

And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".
Haiku # 69549, January 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET
by DW of They should have at least given him a moment to whip it out.
Bad Haiku News

House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump
Haiku # 69548, January 11, 2021 11:43 am ET
by 'Incitement of Insurrection' of Washington D.C.
Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.
Haiku # 69547, January 11, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Tell me about it, girl friend! of Dreadful, just dreadful!
Haiku # 69546, January 11, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
Haiku # 69544, January 11, 2021 6:23 am ET
by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
Haiku # 69543, January 11, 2021 6:17 am ET
by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
Haiku # 69542, January 11, 2021 6:12 am ET
by Fake like everything else about you.
Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
Haiku # 69541, January 11, 2021 6:10 am ET
by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku # 69540, January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku # 69539, January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET
by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku # 69538, January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku # 69537, January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku # 69536, January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku # 69535, January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by ash
If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku # 69534, January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku # 69533, January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku # 69532, January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by ash
twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku # 69531, January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET
by ash
Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku # 69530, January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku # 69529, January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku # 69528, January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET
by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku # 69527, January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku # 69526, January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku # 69525, January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by You know it's true.
I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku # 69524, January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku # 69523, January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku # 69522, January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Janis of T.
Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku # 69521, January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku # 69520, January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Sin-amen.
Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku # 69519, January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku # 69518, January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Put on your helmets, please.
Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku # 69517, January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt.
Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku # 69516, January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I will make it legal!
I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku # 69515, January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.
Haiku # 69514, January 9, 2021 7:37 pm ET
Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.
Haiku # 69513, January 9, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by That's what he gets for what he did to Sally. of She still can't fart normally.
Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.
Haiku # 69512, January 9, 2021 6:59 pm ET
by Putrid pancakes. of Toxic turnovers.
Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.
Haiku # 69511, January 9, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by I peed in the coffee. of That Nutella might taste strange.
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Haiku # 69510, January 9, 2021 2:23 pm ET
by SellAccs of United Kingdom
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