If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.

those things don't matter
when you don't quite remember
whatever it was

Hot Delivery
The pizza was delicious
He gave ME a tip!

Order a pizza
Answer the door in the nude
Money in ass crack

Break it up, poets
Don't make me come over there
and fart in your face

my collected work ?
22 years of haiku
mostly without trump

Hey Ash, without Trump
You'd have no inspiration.
I think he's your muse.

he's made history
a legend in his own mind
roll the discredits

North Pole hooker farts.
Frosty toots of prostitutes.
Keeps Santa Claus warm.

Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.

I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.

You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!

Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.

House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.

I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.

Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:

And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".

Bad Haiku News

House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump

Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.

www.loser.com

https://doctorat.site/

Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.

Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.

Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!

Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.

Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!

There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.

What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.

What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.

I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.

i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax

If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?

Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.

qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down

twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent

Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.

Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.

With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.

There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.

Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.

Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.

I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.

Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.

Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want

Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.

Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.

Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Xip-i-dee-doo-dah.

New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.

Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.

Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?

I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.

If you die tonight,
remember that no one cares.
Perhaps you noticed.

Grandpa was abused
at the assisted living.
So we kept him there.

Waitress Gloria
does anything I tell her.
Poison the children.

Holy glory hole.
Soggy biscuit breakfast juice.
Notice the fry cook.