Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 20 Days and 74088 Haikus later...

Leave us pigs alone
Let us roll in mud and shit
Go eat somewhere else
Haiku # 69565, January 12, 2021 7:39 pm ET
by Disgruntled Pig of Rolling in mud and shit
You are very wise
Reading that made me crave pork
and also fear pork
Haiku # 69564, January 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by Gravy of Totally Toxic
Where are you horse dinks?
How 'bout a shout-out for me?
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku # 69563, January 12, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
Oh, I will eat pork.
Especially if free bacon.
Jewish tradition.

I love a ham sub.
Lots of veggies and dijon.
On toasted wheat bread.

But roast pork is gross.
The flavor can't be erased.
It tastes so... toxic.
Haiku # 69562, January 12, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Loaded with pesticides growth hormone. Seriously, get a pig raised on good food, it tastes pretty good. Philippinos have a way of fucking up food beyond comprehension. Should have moved to Thailand. Live & learn... Live at any rate.
Since Darth gave up pork
He's forgotten how it tastes
He's got hamnesia
Haiku # 69561, January 12, 2021 11:15 am ET
by Meathead of Memory Lane
If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.
Haiku # 69560, January 12, 2021 7:39 am ET
by And vice versa.
those things don't matter
when you don't quite remember
whatever it was
Haiku # 69559, January 12, 2021 7:13 am ET
by ash
Hot Delivery
The pizza was delicious
He gave ME a tip!
Haiku # 69558, January 12, 2021 3:49 am ET
by Satisfied Customer of Down on the floor
Order a pizza
Answer the door in the nude
Money in ass crack
Haiku # 69557, January 12, 2021 3:39 am ET
by Ben Dover of Free Pizza. Works like a charm.
Break it up, poets
Don't make me come over there
and fart in your face
Haiku # 69556, January 12, 2021 3:33 am ET
by Methane Mediator of Methane Mediation Services (smells like dead meat)
my collected work ?
22 years of haiku
mostly without trump
Haiku # 69555, January 12, 2021 12:36 am ET
by ash
Hey Ash, without Trump
You'd have no inspiration.
I think he's your muse.
Haiku # 69554, January 11, 2021 9:24 pm ET
by Orange Cheeto Muse and Love of Ash's Life
he's made history
a legend in his own mind
roll the discredits
Haiku # 69553, January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET
by ash
North Pole hooker farts.
Frosty toots of prostitutes.
Keeps Santa Claus warm.
Haiku # 69552, January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET
by Have you been a naughty girl this year?
Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.

I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.

You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!
Haiku # 69551, January 11, 2021 6:31 pm ET
by Dying for Fame? of Yep, whores do that.
Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.

House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.

I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.
Haiku # 69550, January 11, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by To pee or not to pee. of Urination in yer nation.
Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:

And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".
Haiku # 69549, January 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET
by DW of They should have at least given him a moment to whip it out.
Bad Haiku News

House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump
Haiku # 69548, January 11, 2021 11:43 am ET
by 'Incitement of Insurrection' of Washington D.C.
Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.
Haiku # 69547, January 11, 2021 10:12 am ET
by Tell me about it, girl friend! of Dreadful, just dreadful!
Haiku # 69546, January 11, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
Haiku # 69544, January 11, 2021 6:23 am ET
by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
Haiku # 69543, January 11, 2021 6:17 am ET
by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
Haiku # 69542, January 11, 2021 6:12 am ET
by Fake like everything else about you.
Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
Haiku # 69541, January 11, 2021 6:10 am ET
by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku # 69540, January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET
by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku # 69539, January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET
by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku # 69538, January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku # 69537, January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku # 69536, January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku # 69535, January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by ash
If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku # 69534, January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku # 69533, January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku # 69532, January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET
by ash
twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku # 69531, January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET
by ash
Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku # 69530, January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku # 69529, January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku # 69528, January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET
by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku # 69527, January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku # 69526, January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku # 69525, January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by You know it's true.
I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku # 69524, January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku # 69523, January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku # 69522, January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Janis of T.
Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku # 69521, January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku # 69520, January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Sin-amen.
Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku # 69519, January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
New music genre.
The screams of speacial needs kids.
Head bangers delight.
Haiku # 69518, January 9, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Put on your helmets, please.
Green platypusses?!
Those punk rock motherfuckers.
Always spur me on.
Haiku # 69517, January 9, 2021 7:45 pm ET
by Funtcart funtcart funt.
Deceased foetuses
sing at abortion clinics.
Is that death metal?
Haiku # 69516, January 9, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I will make it legal!
I got a notice.
It said vacate premises.
Vacant promises.
Haiku # 69515, January 9, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Your cunt is too large for anyone.
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