BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
64 Days
69622 Haikus
Expensive cheese
you'd prostitute yourself for
I know you well, Darth
Haiku #69568, by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
January 12, 2021 7:58 pm ET

Diarrhea jig
Wearing a brown tartan kilt
made from last night's stew
Haiku #69567, by Fartin' Tartan of 2 -ply, Scotland
January 12, 2021 7:52 pm ET

Fart syncopation
accompanied by pan flute
K-Tel Order Now
Haiku #69566, by Flootie Patootie of Ghost pepper shootout
January 12, 2021 7:45 pm ET

Leave us pigs alone
Let us roll in mud and shit
Go eat somewhere else
Haiku #69565, by Disgruntled Pig of Rolling in mud and shit
January 12, 2021 7:39 pm ET

You are very wise
Reading that made me crave pork
and also fear pork
Haiku #69564, by Gravy of Totally Toxic
January 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET

Where are you horse dinks?
How 'bout a shout-out for me?
John Boy Walton's mole
Haiku #69563, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
January 12, 2021 7:29 pm ET

Oh, I will eat pork.
Especially if free bacon.
Jewish tradition.

I love a ham sub.
Lots of veggies and dijon.
On toasted wheat bread.

But roast pork is gross.
The flavor can't be erased.
It tastes so... toxic.
Haiku #69562, by Loaded with pesticides growth hormone. Seriously, get a pig raised on good food, it tastes pretty good. Philippinos have a way of fucking up food beyond comprehension. Should have moved to Thailand. Live & learn... Live at any rate.
January 12, 2021 7:28 pm ET

Since Darth gave up pork
He's forgotten how it tastes
He's got hamnesia
Haiku #69561, by Meathead of Memory Lane
January 12, 2021 11:15 am ET

If you masturbate
to pictures of Donald Trump,
then you're a Proud Boy.
Haiku #69560, by And vice versa.
January 12, 2021 7:39 am ET

those things don't matter
when you don't quite remember
whatever it was
Haiku #69559, by ash
January 12, 2021 7:13 am ET

Hot Delivery
The pizza was delicious
He gave ME a tip!
Haiku #69558, by Satisfied Customer of Down on the floor
January 12, 2021 3:49 am ET

Order a pizza
Answer the door in the nude
Money in ass crack
Haiku #69557, by Ben Dover of Free Pizza. Works like a charm.
January 12, 2021 3:39 am ET

Break it up, poets
Don't make me come over there
and fart in your face
Haiku #69556, by Methane Mediator of Methane Mediation Services (smells like dead meat)
January 12, 2021 3:33 am ET

my collected work ?
22 years of haiku
mostly without trump
Haiku #69555, by ash
January 12, 2021 12:36 am ET

Hey Ash, without Trump
You'd have no inspiration.
I think he's your muse.
Haiku #69554, by Orange Cheeto Muse and Love of Ash's Life
January 11, 2021 9:24 pm ET

he's made history
a legend in his own mind
roll the discredits
Haiku #69553, by ash
January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET

North Pole hooker farts.
Frosty toots of prostitutes.
Keeps Santa Claus warm.
Haiku #69552, by Have you been a naughty girl this year?
January 11, 2021 6:55 pm ET

Let's discuss my balls.
They would look good in your mouth.
At your funeral.

I'd get lots of pics.
My asshole stuck in your nose.
I might even poop.

You'd get lots of hits.
It would make a cool TikTok.
You'll be popular!
Haiku #69551, by Dying for Fame? of Yep, whores do that.
January 11, 2021 6:31 pm ET

Bad Haiku Real News. The Best News.

House adds on the charge
ugliest toupee ever.
Seeks death penalty.

I mean, Jesus Christ!
Toupee looks like piss mop at
Cheetos festival.
Haiku #69550, by To pee or not to pee. of Urination in yer nation.
January 11, 2021 4:46 pm ET

Almost Bad Almost Haiku Old News:

And for Rudy Giuliani,
Excitement of Inn Erection.
Borat, but no "splat".
Haiku #69549, by DW of They should have at least given him a moment to whip it out.
January 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

House introduces
impeachment resolution
against Donald Trump
Haiku #69548, by 'Incitement of Insurrection' of Washington D.C.
January 11, 2021 11:43 am ET

Trump deserves to die.
Only because of his hair.
No other reason.
Haiku #69547, by Tell me about it, girl friend! of Dreadful, just dreadful!
January 11, 2021 10:12 am ET
Haiku #69546, by Anonymous Poet
January 11, 2021 7:25 am ET
Haiku #69545, by doctorat of california
January 11, 2021 7:12 am ET

Whores get cheap tattoos.
They think it makes them special.
Infinitely fake.
Haiku #69544, by The complete lack of love. of It is far more evil than hate.
January 11, 2021 6:23 am ET

Drunk on tequila,
slurping down cubes of pork fat,
great for the fetus.
Haiku #69543, by Almost like it's on purpose. of I noticed.
January 11, 2021 6:17 am ET

Your cakes look stupid.
Cut out sugar lard icing.
What the fuck is that?!
Haiku #69542, by Fake like everything else about you.
January 11, 2021 6:12 am ET

Let's have some ice cream.
Peppermint or bubble gum.
Egg nog is tasty.
Haiku #69541, by I noticed your giant triangular ass wobbles around too much.
January 11, 2021 6:10 am ET

Yo, that cop farted!
And right in a brother's face!
Burn down all the stores!
Haiku #69540, by Erkle of course You don't mind if I help myself to this big-screen TV, do you?
January 11, 2021 2:58 am ET

There's so much schizm.
It makes me want to jizm.
New feudalism.
Haiku #69539, by AmeriKKKa, the beautiful. of Ghandalf the Grand Wizard. Poof, you're a frog.
January 11, 2021 12:41 am ET

What is the problem??
I just want to own some slaves.
Darker is better.
Haiku #69538, by Darth Donald J. Trump, your new Emperor. of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
January 10, 2021 10:16 pm ET

What's that commotion?
Uh oh, the chickens got out.
Talking poly-ticks.
Haiku #69537, by Chickens like ticks. More is better. of Keep f***in' that chicken -- Ernie Anastos
January 10, 2021 10:13 pm ET

I'm craving pie now.
Rather than topped with whip cream,
use president fat.
Haiku #69536, by Hannibal Lector of Collaborating w/ Gordon Ramsay
January 10, 2021 5:37 pm ET

i'm impeachy keen
your flaccid insurrection
will have its climax
Haiku #69535, by ash
January 10, 2021 4:43 pm ET

If you drown someone
in a vat of peach filling,
is that impeachment?
Haiku #69534, by Darth Donald J. Trump of White House lawn, looking up to the skies for aliens.
January 10, 2021 4:36 pm ET

Mister Poet Ash,
I will take YOUR medicine.
Then I'll take your wife.
Haiku #69533, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Grab her by the pussy. She was married.
January 10, 2021 4:34 pm ET

qanon shaman
time to take your medicine
and have a lie down
Haiku #69532, by ash
January 10, 2021 6:37 am ET

twice the impeachments
ex-resident president
sets a precedent
Haiku #69531, by ash
January 10, 2021 6:29 am ET

Ivanka says hi.
She's an awesome trophy wife.
The best trophy wife.
Haiku #69530, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Emperor's Palace.
January 10, 2021 3:34 am ET

Of course I mean that
the pyramids, not the slaves,
will be colored orange.

The slaves will be black.
Just like in the good old days
grandpa told me of.
Haiku #69529, by Darth Donald J. Trump of Bow down and tremble, peasants.
January 10, 2021 2:18 am ET

With a horde of slaves
I can build new pyramids.
They'll be orange this time.
Haiku #69528, by DDJT of Once POTUS, now Emperor of NWO
January 10, 2021 2:11 am ET

There's something crusty
on the screen of my cell phone.
Oh, I think I know.
Haiku #69527, by DDJT of When everyone finds out this is my new site, your servers will overload.
January 9, 2021 10:19 pm ET

Exploding light bulbs.
Not sure what I should put here.
I'm on the toilet.

Rise up, my brothers.
And The South shall rise again.
I can use some slaves.
Haiku #69526, by And it's okay. of Darth Donald J Trump's new platform
January 9, 2021 10:12 pm ET

Darth Donald J Trump.
Supported by the police
and military.
Haiku #69525, by You know it's true.
January 9, 2021 10:07 pm ET

I cannot wait for
the Million Militia March;
I'll be Emperor.
Haiku #69524, by Darth Donald J. Trump of The J stands for jackoff.
January 9, 2021 9:59 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

Anal cavities
can be filled by a dentist.
Mine used a strap-on.
Haiku #69523, by Did you notice the missing flashlight batteries.
January 9, 2021 9:55 pm ET

Banning DJT
It's my goddamned site
I do what I want
Haiku #69522, by Janis of T.
January 9, 2021 9:50 pm ET

Sweet sticky goodness.
Cinnamon buns with white glaze.
And fresh hot coffee.
Haiku #69521, by Bc fuck you. of That's why, you disgusting pig twat.
January 9, 2021 9:47 pm ET

Woke up feeling good.
I want some Goddamn sausage.
And that's all I need.

Oh, wait, I quit pork.
Never mind, hold that order.
One cinnamon roll.
Haiku #69520, by Sin-amen.
January 9, 2021 8:02 pm ET

Xanadu's xenophobic xylem xylophone.
Xavier's xylene.
Haiku #69519, by Fuck, I hate it when people are late and keep saying any minute. of Fucking twat waffles.
January 9, 2021 7:56 pm ET