Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 181 Days and 70640 Haikus later...

Half eternity
is like still eternity.
Which half do you want?
Haiku # 68893, November 24, 2020 8:07 am ET
by dw
All eternity
A turtle head poking out
Unfinished business
Haiku # 68892, November 24, 2020 3:35 am ET
by Unlucky of Pompeii
After work today
I think I'll go out whoring.
How many should I get?
Haiku # 68891, November 23, 2020 9:17 pm ET
by You tell me, and I'll do it! of Darth Sandwich with Extra "Mayo"
One two three four five six.
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stink outside the twat.
Haiku # 68890, November 23, 2020 9:14 pm ET
by dw
I poop on your rules.
Haiku are fucking stupid.
My balls are swollen.

I think full of pus.
I'll pop them like a pimple.
Right into your eye.
Haiku # 68889, November 23, 2020 9:08 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous, Esquire. of Sipping Tea w/ My Pinky Extended Like a Proper Gentleman.
Darth you have been warned:
obey strict syllabic rules
or face Haiku's wrath.
Haiku # 68888, November 23, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by Instead of Blathering on About Poop
We are the True Pedophiles!
Those freaks that fuck kids are pretenders!
I took a syringe of my spooge and dabbed it in hundreds of high dollar women's shoes at Macy's.
Sticky Foot Rebellion!
Haiku # 68887, November 23, 2020 6:22 pm ET
by Applying for a job at Reeboks of But need to move to China first.
Why in the hell aren't people with foot fetishes called pedophiles? The perverts stole a cool name! Sticky foot rebellion! Stop the steal!
Haiku # 68886, November 23, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by Sole Brothers Rise Up!
Jello Biafra:
Those crazy Dead Kennedys...
Rotting Vegetables.
Haiku # 68885, November 23, 2020 10:29 am ET
by Eric Boucher of Boulder CO
The new election:
Nude Jello wrestling death match.
Live on Pay-Per-View.
Haiku # 68884, November 23, 2020 9:20 am ET
by Call it Democrazy
like a cat vomit
pathetic orange hairball
better out than in
Haiku # 68883, November 23, 2020 1:21 am ET
by ash of not in the house
Needles in the groin.
Spank me with a spiked paddle.
Electrocute me.
Haiku # 68882, November 23, 2020 12:32 am ET
by I am so cute, I electrocute. of Tasty buttocks.
Pedophilia.
Great way to start a haiku.
Eat them when it's done.
Haiku # 68881, November 23, 2020 12:25 am ET
by Albert Fish of You can tune a piano, but you can't tune A. Fish.
Thanksgiving guest
You look nice, Mr. Dreyfuss
Pass the potatoes
Haiku # 68880, November 22, 2020 9:11 pm ET
by 1-900-CLOSE ENCOUNTERS of Threesome Kind
Dusting off dry bones
High fructose destination
Diabetic ghoul
Haiku # 68879, November 22, 2020 8:39 pm ET
by Supercalifragilisticketoacidosis of The disturbed grave of Wilfred Brimley
Alone in the zone.
I searched in vain for poets.
Just haiku and me.
Haiku # 68878, November 22, 2020 7:49 pm ET
by Where Did Everyone Go? of Was It All a Dream?
Wilfred we see you.
We know where you make gravy.
You are monitored.
Haiku # 68877, November 22, 2020 5:44 pm ET
by Haiku Surveillance of Central Intelligence Urgency
Passing butt gravy
Whilst writing some bad haiku
Just like all of you
Haiku # 68876, November 22, 2020 5:18 pm ET
by Wilfred Brimley
Get over here NOW.
Write some bloody haiku verse.
Or admit I won.
Haiku # 68875, November 22, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by Competitive Blood-sport of Haiku
Check pictures with cars.
Then check pictures with crosswalks.
Check your sanity.
Haiku # 68874, November 22, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Write me a Check of Generous Amount
WE NEED TO LISTEN.
WE SHOULD LISTEN TO CHINA.
LISTEN IN ALL CAPS.
Haiku # 68873, November 22, 2020 8:06 am ET
by Human Rights Commission of Untied Notions
Y'all home Uncle Clem?
Are you there? Kin I come in?
Uncle Clem-- OH LORD !
Haiku # 68872, November 22, 2020 7:59 am ET
by Appalachian Crime Scene Memories
Wind sighs in the grove
The carp-pool surface ripples . . .
The warm corpse bleeds out.
Haiku # 68871, November 22, 2020 7:57 am ET
by Serial Haiku of Homicidal Lyricism
Haiku will slay you.
Haiku will piss on your corpse.
Haiku is Tough Love.
Haiku # 68870, November 22, 2020 7:54 am ET
by Extreme Haiku of Reform School Boot Camp
Oh, those silly bulls.
They're loose in a China shop.
Japanese tea ware.

Fill the crack with gold.
The repairs are beautiful.
Use it to smoke crack.
Haiku # 68869, November 22, 2020 7:43 am ET
by Speaking of filled cracks...
a lay down misere
you bet you're the president
i'm calling no trumps
Haiku # 68868, November 22, 2020 1:50 am ET
by ash of a bridge too far
Don't you dare come here
Talking nature imagery.
You will regret it.
Haiku # 68867, November 21, 2020 10:26 pm ET
by Haiku Ultimatum of Antinatural
Watch, as a turkey
will try to pardon itself
this Thanksgiving Day
Haiku # 68866, November 21, 2020 10:02 am ET
by Self Basting of Reduced to Clear
The warmth of the sun
The coolness of a light breeze,
Will continue on.
Haiku # 68865, November 21, 2020 9:16 am ET
by mundane
I'm up in your face
You thought I was gone for good
John Boy Walton's mole!
Haiku # 68864, November 21, 2020 5:14 am ET
by J to the B to the W to the M of All up in your face
My best winning streak
Xenomorphs for five hundred
Dink in jeopardy!
Haiku # 68863, November 21, 2020 4:20 am ET
by Xenomorphs of Hanging from the really smart phallus of Alex Trebek
You ever wonder what the biological purpose of the tongue with teeth could have for the alien xenomorph? Does that weird little mouth actually eat or does it just grab onto food and or help to kill it? Does it have its own seperate digestive track? Or even its own seperate brain? I kind of doubt that last one, but you never know. I'd kind of like a tongue like that. I mean, not to eat things, but you know, it is kind of phallic and I bet chicks would dig it. Like way more than haiku poetry.
Haiku # 68862, November 21, 2020 3:31 am ET
by Right?!
poke me in the eye
do not stop to wonder why
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 68861, November 21, 2020 3:29 am ET
by Marion Ross of Who's the boss?
No one wants that stuff
I can see straight to your soul
That's what I'm here for
Haiku # 68860, November 21, 2020 12:03 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Anywhere marijuana can be found
What is your birthday?
And social security?
Bank account number?

Mother's maiden name.
Your paternal grandmother.
And your penis length.
Haiku # 68859, November 20, 2020 9:44 pm ET
by Asking for a friend.
Is Darth a Taurus?
Always talking about food
described in detail
Haiku # 68858, November 20, 2020 8:00 pm ET
by Russell Meupsomegrub of VIP Dining
Dig him up again
And look, he's got a boner
Exhuming Dick Clark
Haiku # 68857, November 20, 2020 7:56 pm ET
by 2021 of Wrecking Ball
the race is over
still running for the white house
artificial heir
Haiku # 68856, November 20, 2020 6:31 pm ET
by ash
For party parties.
Cheetos dipped in chocolate.
It's so fon-to-due!

The cheeto that's Trump.
The hot melted chocolate
that's Guilianni.

(However the hell you spell it.)
Haiku # 68855, November 20, 2020 6:04 pm ET
by Darth Chef of Look out Gordon Ramsay!... Maybe not.
With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?
Haiku # 68854, November 20, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Mushhead of Nuthouse
Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.
Haiku # 68853, November 20, 2020 10:53 am ET
by Roots of the Corruption
You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
Haiku # 68852, November 20, 2020 10:12 am ET
by Lars of Metallica
time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
Haiku # 68851, November 20, 2020 4:28 am ET
by ash
Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
Haiku # 68850, November 20, 2020 2:01 am ET
by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
Haiku # 68849, November 20, 2020 1:52 am ET
by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
Haiku # 68848, November 19, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
Haiku # 68847, November 19, 2020 8:35 pm ET
by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
Haiku # 68846, November 19, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Massacre of Haiku
I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
Haiku # 68845, November 19, 2020 8:16 pm ET
by Verses of the Gods
To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
Haiku # 68844, November 19, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >