We are the True Pedophiles!
Those freaks that fuck kids are pretenders!
I took a syringe of my spooge and dabbed it in hundreds of high dollar women's shoes at Macy's.
Sticky Foot Rebellion!
by Applying for a job at Reeboks of But need to move to China first.
Why in the hell aren't people with foot fetishes called pedophiles? The perverts stole a cool name! Sticky foot rebellion! Stop the steal!
by Sole Brothers Rise Up!
Jello Biafra:
Those crazy Dead Kennedys...
Rotting Vegetables.
by Eric Boucher of Boulder CO
The new election:
Nude Jello wrestling death match.
Live on Pay-Per-View.
by Call it Democrazy
like a cat vomit
pathetic orange hairball
better out than in
by ash of not in the house
Needles in the groin.
Spank me with a spiked paddle.
Electrocute me.
by I am so cute, I electrocute. of Tasty buttocks.
Pedophilia.
Great way to start a haiku.
Eat them when it's done.
by Albert Fish of You can tune a piano, but you can't tune A. Fish.
Thanksgiving guest
You look nice, Mr. Dreyfuss
Pass the potatoes
by 1-900-CLOSE ENCOUNTERS of Threesome Kind
Dusting off dry bones
High fructose destination
Diabetic ghoul
by Supercalifragilisticketoacidosis of The disturbed grave of Wilfred Brimley
Alone in the zone.
I searched in vain for poets.
Just haiku and me.
by Where Did Everyone Go? of Was It All a Dream?
Wilfred we see you.
We know where you make gravy.
You are monitored.
by Haiku Surveillance of Central Intelligence Urgency
Passing butt gravy
Whilst writing some bad haiku
Just like all of you
by Wilfred Brimley
Get over here NOW.
Write some bloody haiku verse.
Or admit I won.
by Competitive Blood-sport of Haiku
Check pictures with cars.
Then check pictures with crosswalks.
Check your sanity.
by Write me a Check of Generous Amount
WE NEED TO LISTEN.
WE SHOULD LISTEN TO CHINA.
LISTEN IN ALL CAPS.
by Human Rights Commission of Untied Notions
Y'all home Uncle Clem?
Are you there? Kin I come in?
Uncle Clem-- OH LORD !
by Appalachian Crime Scene Memories
Wind sighs in the grove
The carp-pool surface ripples . . .
The warm corpse bleeds out.
by Serial Haiku of Homicidal Lyricism
Haiku will slay you.
Haiku will piss on your corpse.
Haiku is Tough Love.
by Extreme Haiku of Reform School Boot Camp
Oh, those silly bulls.
They're loose in a China shop.
Japanese tea ware.
Fill the crack with gold.
The repairs are beautiful.
Use it to smoke crack.
by Speaking of filled cracks...
a lay down misere
you bet you're the president
i'm calling no trumps
by ash of a bridge too far
Don't you dare come here
Talking nature imagery.
You will regret it.
by Haiku Ultimatum of Antinatural
Watch, as a turkey
will try to pardon itself
this Thanksgiving Day
by Self Basting of Reduced to Clear
The warmth of the sun
The coolness of a light breeze,
Will continue on.
by mundane
I'm up in your face
You thought I was gone for good
John Boy Walton's mole!
by J to the B to the W to the M of All up in your face
My best winning streak
Xenomorphs for five hundred
Dink in jeopardy!
by Xenomorphs of Hanging from the really smart phallus of Alex Trebek
You ever wonder what the biological purpose of the tongue with teeth could have for the alien xenomorph? Does that weird little mouth actually eat or does it just grab onto food and or help to kill it? Does it have its own seperate digestive track? Or even its own seperate brain? I kind of doubt that last one, but you never know. I'd kind of like a tongue like that. I mean, not to eat things, but you know, it is kind of phallic and I bet chicks would dig it. Like way more than haiku poetry.
by Right?!
poke me in the eye
do not stop to wonder why
Tom Bosley's penis
by Marion Ross of Who's the boss?
No one wants that stuff
I can see straight to your soul
That's what I'm here for
by Noticer of Details of Anywhere marijuana can be found
What is your birthday?
And social security?
Bank account number?
Mother's maiden name.
Your paternal grandmother.
And your penis length.
by Asking for a friend.
Is Darth a Taurus?
Always talking about food
described in detail
by Russell Meupsomegrub of VIP Dining
Dig him up again
And look, he's got a boner
Exhuming Dick Clark
by 2021 of Wrecking Ball
the race is over
still running for the white house
artificial heir
by ash
For party parties.
Cheetos dipped in chocolate.
It's so fon-to-due!
The cheeto that's Trump.
The hot melted chocolate
that's Guilianni.
(However the hell you spell it.)
by Darth Chef of Look out Gordon Ramsay!... Maybe not.
With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?
by Mushhead of Nuthouse
Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.
by Roots of the Corruption
You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
by Lars of Metallica
time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
by ash
Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.
Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.
Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
by Massacre of Haiku
I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
by Verses of the Gods
To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.
by Friendly Local Christian Saint of the Neighborhood
If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets
by He loves you, baby of Up in this motherfucker
I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.
by Audit of Illegitimate Voting Procedures
What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.
by Try Again
Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.
by Weep in Hell, my cellulose friend.
Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.
My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.
It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
