BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
19 Days
and
68965 Haikus
later...
Check pictures with cars.
Then check pictures with crosswalks.
Check your sanity.
Haiku #68874, by Write me a Check of Generous Amount
November 22, 2020 8:27 am ET

WE NEED TO LISTEN.
WE SHOULD LISTEN TO CHINA.
LISTEN IN ALL CAPS.
Haiku #68873, by Human Rights Commission of Untied Notions
November 22, 2020 8:06 am ET

Y'all home Uncle Clem?
Are you there? Kin I come in?
Uncle Clem-- OH LORD !
Haiku #68872, by Appalachian Crime Scene Memories
November 22, 2020 7:59 am ET

Wind sighs in the grove
The carp-pool surface ripples . . .
The warm corpse bleeds out.
Haiku #68871, by Serial Haiku of Homicidal Lyricism
November 22, 2020 7:57 am ET

Haiku will slay you.
Haiku will piss on your corpse.
Haiku is Tough Love.
Haiku #68870, by Extreme Haiku of Reform School Boot Camp
November 22, 2020 7:54 am ET

Oh, those silly bulls.
They're loose in a China shop.
Japanese tea ware.

Fill the crack with gold.
The repairs are beautiful.
Use it to smoke crack.
Haiku #68869, by Speaking of filled cracks...
November 22, 2020 7:43 am ET

a lay down misere
you bet you're the president
i'm calling no trumps
Haiku #68868, by ash of a bridge too far
November 22, 2020 1:50 am ET

Don't you dare come here
Talking nature imagery.
You will regret it.
Haiku #68867, by Haiku Ultimatum of Antinatural
November 21, 2020 10:26 pm ET

Watch, as a turkey
will try to pardon itself
this Thanksgiving Day
Haiku #68866, by Self Basting of Reduced to Clear
November 21, 2020 10:02 am ET

The warmth of the sun
The coolness of a light breeze,
Will continue on.
Haiku #68865, by mundane
November 21, 2020 9:16 am ET

I'm up in your face
You thought I was gone for good
John Boy Walton's mole!
Haiku #68864, by J to the B to the W to the M of All up in your face
November 21, 2020 5:14 am ET

My best winning streak
Xenomorphs for five hundred
Dink in jeopardy!
Haiku #68863, by Xenomorphs of Hanging from the really smart phallus of Alex Trebek
November 21, 2020 4:20 am ET

You ever wonder what the biological purpose of the tongue with teeth could have for the alien xenomorph? Does that weird little mouth actually eat or does it just grab onto food and or help to kill it? Does it have its own seperate digestive track? Or even its own seperate brain? I kind of doubt that last one, but you never know. I'd kind of like a tongue like that. I mean, not to eat things, but you know, it is kind of phallic and I bet chicks would dig it. Like way more than haiku poetry.
Haiku #68862, by Right?!
November 21, 2020 3:31 am ET

poke me in the eye
do not stop to wonder why
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku #68861, by Marion Ross of Who's the boss?
November 21, 2020 3:29 am ET

No one wants that stuff
I can see straight to your soul
That's what I'm here for
Haiku #68860, by Noticer of Details of Anywhere marijuana can be found
November 21, 2020 12:03 am ET

What is your birthday?
And social security?
Bank account number?

Mother's maiden name.
Your paternal grandmother.
And your penis length.
Haiku #68859, by Asking for a friend.
November 20, 2020 9:44 pm ET

Is Darth a Taurus?
Always talking about food
described in detail
Haiku #68858, by Russell Meupsomegrub of VIP Dining
November 20, 2020 8:00 pm ET

Dig him up again
And look, he's got a boner
Exhuming Dick Clark
Haiku #68857, by 2021 of Wrecking Ball
November 20, 2020 7:56 pm ET

the race is over
still running for the white house
artificial heir
Haiku #68856, by ash
November 20, 2020 6:31 pm ET

For party parties.
Cheetos dipped in chocolate.
It's so fon-to-due!

The cheeto that's Trump.
The hot melted chocolate
that's Guilianni.

(However the hell you spell it.)
Haiku #68855, by Darth Chef of Look out Gordon Ramsay!... Maybe not.
November 20, 2020 6:04 pm ET

With my pork pie hat
Cephalopod ink drip stains
Will my head explode?
Haiku #68854, by Mushhead of Nuthouse
November 20, 2020 12:47 pm ET

Giulani's black sweat:
Soon there will be hell toupee.
The Rudy can't fail.
Haiku #68853, by Roots of the Corruption
November 20, 2020 10:53 am ET

You should not be here.
Get your ass to church and pray.
Before it's too late.
Haiku #68852, by Lars of Metallica
November 20, 2020 10:12 am ET

time is running out
like rudy's hair colouring
but never say dye
Haiku #68851, by ash
November 20, 2020 4:28 am ET

Cruel TV dinner
Cake, Potatoes, gravy, corn
Not enough longpig
Haiku #68850, by Hungry Man of Chesterfield
November 20, 2020 2:01 am ET

You should not do that.
At least not here in public.
Go in the bushes.
Haiku #68849, by The Evil Dork Lard Whorrendous of The Ancient Sith Empire. May The Dark Side of The Farts be with you.
November 20, 2020 1:52 am ET

I am soooo sleepy.
Been up all night sucking dicks.
Better than haiku.

Oh well, dad needs rum.
Here's all my money, daddy.
And one last blow job.

Dried fish, rice, and sleep.
Get up and suck dicks again.
Hey, Darth, one fifty!
Haiku #68848, by Jovelyn, on the streets of the Philippines
November 19, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Look at that Beaver
The Rise and Fall of Peter Pond
Those aren't eels, they're dinks
Haiku #68847, by Fur Trader's Ghost of Canada
November 19, 2020 8:35 pm ET

Haiku shall triumph.
She shall sing a dirge for you
Over your remains.
Haiku #68846, by Massacre of Haiku
November 19, 2020 8:19 pm ET

I rip out your heart
And fling the beating organ
On haiku's altar.
Haiku #68845, by Verses of the Gods
November 19, 2020 8:16 pm ET

To write about poo
Is a crime against haiku
Committed by you.
Haiku #68844, by Haiku Morals Committee of Surveillance
November 19, 2020 8:12 pm ET

Take not the LORD'S name
Upon thy vile filthy lips,
Ye damned spawn of hell.
Haiku #68843, by Friendly Local Christian Saint of the Neighborhood
November 19, 2020 8:05 pm ET

If God wrote Haikus
He'd write them all about youse
On old skool tablets
Haiku #68842, by He loves you, baby of Up in this motherfucker
November 19, 2020 7:30 pm ET

I have a new one:
Four more years with Donald Trump.
It's so . . . poetic.
Haiku #68841, by Audit of Illegitimate Voting Procedures
November 19, 2020 6:22 am ET

What's with Bad Haiku?
Website won't let me post here.
Too many controls.
Haiku #68840, by Try Again
November 19, 2020 6:13 am ET

Some call it murder.
I chopped down the willow tree.
Sick of cry babies.
Haiku #68839, by Weep in Hell, my cellulose friend.
November 19, 2020 4:29 am ET

Suck poo off my balls.
Noticer didn't notice
reaper pepper seeds.

My diarrhea:
spicy testicular sauce
For you and your mom.

It puckers and snaps,
My red-hot angry anus,
to French kiss your tongue.
Haiku #68838, by Better than hot wings. Fun for the hole family! of Whores must bring their own tequilla.
November 19, 2020 4:04 am ET

Darth's Fart Gallery
"When he has diarrhea
he's Jackson Pollock"
Haiku #68837, by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
November 19, 2020 2:21 am ET

Note on toilet seat:
"Don't Flush! Getting tape measure.
It's a world record!"
Haiku #68836, by Okay, go ahead and peek.
November 19, 2020 2:13 am ET

Darth of the Three Dinks
I'll call you Triskelion
Where do you buy pants?
Haiku #68835, by Drunk of Barstool
November 19, 2020 2:10 am ET

Jello Wrestling.
Biden and Trump butt-naked.
Live stream on PornHub.
Haiku #68834, by Praise Jesus!
November 19, 2020 2:09 am ET

You left the lid up
That's why I filed for divorce
So tired of your shit
Haiku #68833, by Pissed of Off
November 19, 2020 2:06 am ET

there is a bottom
he's the man-child at the top
a great orange arse
Haiku #68832, by ash of republican reviews
November 18, 2020 11:57 pm ET

So you guys are worried about the next face that our problems is going to disguise itself as rather than the problems themselves.

Go out and buy guns.
That's the only solution.
You will thank me soon.

I know more than you.
Listen to the old-timers.
Can't keep their mouths shut.
Haiku #68831, by It's coming soon!
November 18, 2020 11:21 pm ET

You ever wonder...
Do Eskimoes bang cave bears?
Hibernation rape.
Haiku #68830, by Saves on roofies. of You'll never watch Bernstein Bears or Bare Bears w/o thinking of me. In you it.
November 18, 2020 6:42 pm ET

Hey look, could be worse.
What if I were president?
Call me Darth Nuke-em!

Reset the clock back
to the stone age and we'll all
use spears and stone tools.

And be mutated.
But that's like half the fun, yeah?
Check out my three schlongs.
Haiku #68829, by President Darth Whorendous of Vice President Pee Wee Herman
November 18, 2020 6:36 pm ET

Flush that clogger down
Good riddance, foul orange clown
Joe's coming to town
Haiku #68828, by U. R. Evicted of Haiku Central
November 18, 2020 5:13 pm ET

Are you on crack man?
C'mon man- you voted for Joe?
How damn dumb was that?
Haiku #68827, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

President Harris
Say it with me sad lofan....
President Harris

Inmate Donald tRump
Say it with me sad lofan
Inmate Donald tRump
Haiku #68826, by Jesus loves me but not you
November 18, 2020 2:54 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
How dumb republicans are
There is no bottom
Haiku #68825, by Anonymous Poet
November 18, 2020 2:44 pm ET