Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

I have a strange cat.
It sings for no good reason.
Is it me that's strange?
Haiku # 68402, October 19, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by
Butts and private parts.
Verse of the infantile arts:
Naughty Darth. Poops. Farts.
Haiku # 68401, October 19, 2020 8:04 pm ET
by Darth's Dead Angel of Haiku
Identifying
as a black haiku poem.
Count my syllables.

Know what I'm sayin'?
Don't use no enjambment here.
Oh, shit I just did.
Haiku # 68400, October 19, 2020 7:12 pm ET
by My bad. of It's all good, mo fo.
I just vomitted
my Wendy's chilliburger
onto a cop's shoes.
Haiku # 68399, October 19, 2020 7:03 pm ET
by DW -- identifying as a drunk driver of on my way to jail for a long time and I deserve it.
Please don't chop me down.
I make oxygen for you.
And give homes to birds.
Haiku # 68398, October 19, 2020 6:56 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Identifying as a tree.
Cannabalism,
bathroom humor and large dinks.
What more could one want?

Oh, let's write about
vegetable gardening
and doily patterns.
Haiku # 68397, October 19, 2020 6:53 pm ET
by Grandma Darth of Identifying as elderly female. Want my SS check!
Play Nature's Ring Toss
All you need is a boner
and 12 glazed doughnuts
Haiku # 68396, October 19, 2020 3:00 pm ET
by The inventor of Bakery (again)
Can't thank you enough
I enjoy reading your work
Whilst I'm on the can
Haiku # 68395, October 19, 2020 2:25 pm ET
by Just unloaded something of That smells 4,000 years old
Bathroom humor is
an ancient and dishonored
poets' tradition.
Haiku # 68394, October 19, 2020 9:40 am ET
by 4000 years old! of Or more!
It is time to start
writing less boring haiku
on usual themes.
Haiku # 68393, October 19, 2020 9:11 am ET
by Darth of 4 Year-Old Bathroom Humor
Jay's ejaculate
consists of matchbox cars and glue
You won't get pregnant
Haiku # 68392, October 19, 2020 7:01 am ET
by Bill Nye of Science Guy
Six old smelly ghosts
Live in the walls of your house
Just deal with it, man
Haiku # 68391, October 19, 2020 6:52 am ET
by Explainer of Unexplained
But have you ever
been driven to dink a car?
Exhaust pipe dripping.
Haiku # 68390, October 19, 2020 6:49 am ET
by Jay Leno, of course. That's no garage - that's my harem!
Nervous passenger
Never seen anyone drive
a car with their dink
Haiku # 68389, October 19, 2020 6:45 am ET
by Nervous passenger of Passenger seat
Covid's getting old.
Ebola -- that's what we need!
Sweeping through the states.

Good excuse to shoot.
Is he drunk or infected?
Shoot him anyway!

"What if he's just drunk?"
"Rookie, can't you see he's black?!
Shoot him regardless!"
Haiku # 68388, October 18, 2020 9:55 pm ET
by Bowel movements fecal matter.
Green zombie bootie
make my boner smell funky.
Jealous vampires.
Haiku # 68387, October 18, 2020 9:45 pm ET
by Do zombies have hollow weenies?
I dreamed of you all
And it became a nightmare.
I never woke up.
Haiku # 68386, October 18, 2020 8:39 pm ET
by Bloodfire of Vampire
When the zombies run
You'll have a hard time cumming
with that big boner
Haiku # 68385, October 18, 2020 6:04 pm ET
by Nostrildammedup of I mean, who didn't see this cumming?
When the zombies come
You'll have a hard time running
with that big boner
Haiku # 68384, October 18, 2020 1:16 am ET
by Nostradongus of Upcoming Events
Somebody's on meth.
And, for once, it isn't me.
Goodnight, vampire.

I cooked my dink once.
The next day it grew right back.
Call me Darth Gecko.
Haiku # 68383, October 18, 2020 12:25 am ET
by Psst, hey, wanna buy some car insurance?
One more before bed.
I climb into my coffin:
Sweet eternity!
Haiku # 68382, October 17, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Vampire of Bloodfire
Anastasia. Wow.
Last name Dragomirova.
Watch that Greek girl jump!
Haiku # 68381, October 17, 2020 11:29 pm ET
by Pan-Hellenic Games of Blue Sports
Where is Wong Lo Fan?
I hope he is still fighting
For the right (not wrong)
Haiku # 68380, October 17, 2020 11:24 pm ET
by Kalifornia Uber Alles of DKs
I now surpass me.
I now transcend my own verse,
Ascending Godward.
Haiku # 68379, October 17, 2020 11:18 pm ET
by Sighting the Portals of Haiku Heaven
Listen to Salty.
Salty possesses pure truth.
Now let the salt flow.
Haiku # 68378, October 17, 2020 11:14 pm ET
by Sodium Chloride of Sublimity in Salinity
Haiku of haikus:
Your eyes bring this to your brain
Because I own you.
Haiku # 68377, October 17, 2020 11:12 pm ET
by Your Friendly Omnipotent Overlord of Telepathy
Listen to wahmen!
Wahmens has the ovaries.
Mens has no menses.
Haiku # 68376, October 17, 2020 11:08 pm ET
by Moon Has Control of Matriarchy
Ah ain't no ways tired.
Just happen to have hot sauce
Here in my hand-bag
Haiku # 68375, October 17, 2020 11:05 pm ET
by Hillbillary of Hellarious
More gentle verse please.
More mindful centered haiku
About demon food.
Haiku # 68374, October 17, 2020 11:03 pm ET
by Curse Your Name of My Name
Bro! Vindicated.
These psychotics cook their own,
then serve with white wine.
Haiku # 68373, October 17, 2020 10:58 pm ET
by Franky of Human Bratwurst
It's a one time thing
When you deep fry your own dink
Personal Corn Dog
Haiku # 68372, October 17, 2020 10:11 pm ET
by Pesto of Bird Nesto
And the Japanese
"chef" who fried up his own junk
to serve at dinner.

I swear it is true!
Look it up if you think not.
*Godzilla vomits.*
Haiku # 68371, October 17, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Tetsuo! of Akira test site.
Do you remember
those weird German cannibals
who fried that guy's thing?
Haiku # 68370, October 17, 2020 8:24 pm ET
by It Really Happened
You want to skin me?
I think I can live with that.
What wine should I serve?
Haiku # 68369, October 17, 2020 7:18 pm ET
by Perhaps chardonnay.
I will flay you fools
and then drape your bloody skins
on my city walls.
Haiku # 68368, October 17, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Ashurbanipal, King of Assyria
I went over there
Didn't find any candy
Smashed a YUGE pumpkin
Haiku # 68367, October 17, 2020 2:05 pm ET
by Green Witch of Village
Hey brilliant poets:
Go visit my blog RIGHT NOW.
That is an order.

https://connecthook.net/
Haiku # 68366, October 17, 2020 10:29 am ET
by But Not Darth
Happy Halloween
The problem with fucking stiffs
Their dinks break right off
Haiku # 68365, October 17, 2020 9:57 am ET
by Undead of Aubuchon Hardware pitchfork section
my sphincter's backed up
against a zombie and I
hope he enjoys it
Haiku # 68364, October 17, 2020 7:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
polyassholeticks
sucking blood from my sphincter
for the greater good
for once in my life
I'd like to vote for someone
instead of against
backs against the wall
firing squad all lined up
blindfolded ka-boom
democratic farce
electric electoral
college keg party
don't forget roofies
we don't want to be awake
when these freaks fuck us
Haiku # 68363, October 17, 2020 7:36 am ET
by we're all defeated I want to wear a zombie Halloween costume -- return of the living dead
I get DOWN on CRACK!
Rent me some Russian hotties...
Light my pipe, Olga
Haiku # 68362, October 17, 2020 5:44 am ET
by Son of Biden on Permanent Vacation
Independent soul
With complicated software
Can do some damage
Haiku # 68361, October 17, 2020 5:10 am ET
by Aotocomplete
close, close to the edge
that political wedge
still the voters veg
Haiku # 68360, October 17, 2020 4:58 am ET
by ash
You relived yourself
under an old willow tree?
So that's why it wept.
Haiku # 68359, October 17, 2020 3:29 am ET
by dw of har de har har har
My new invention
Romantic Bidet for Two
Sing: "Love stinks, Yeah Yeah"
Haiku # 68358, October 16, 2020 9:32 pm ET
by Relieved of Under old willow
You can be the bum.
Refuse to wipe; be stinky!
Loiter in Starbucks.
Haiku # 68357, October 16, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by The retirement plan of Darth Whorrendous.
Ass wiping is old.
Spray away the sticky poo.
Bidet all the way!

Much more economical and environmentally friendly. I'm quite serious about that. TP is hell on the sewer systems and takes a lot to break down the fibers. Wipes are even worse. Give the planet a small break and switch to bidet. Just water.
And it's a much better cleaning. Even my old wrinkly distended rectum comes away squeaky clean and smelling fresh.
Haiku # 68356, October 16, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Advertising slogan expert.
My new invention
Robotic Arm for toilet
It wipes our asses!
Haiku # 68355, October 16, 2020 4:20 pm ET
by Contestant #2 of Shart Tank
Horrors! Oh, the shame.
Haiku, Poetry itself,
Lies stricken and mute.
Haiku # 68354, October 16, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by You Have Killed Haiku, You Vile Piece of Garbage
I'm an reverse centaur. Rentcaur?
A horses head stuck on a human waist. And no arms. Tiny little dink. Loves apples. Not good for much. Slow runner. Great for side show entertainment. Keyboarding w/ my toes.
Haiku # 68353, October 16, 2020 12:23 pm ET
by Belief in the Queef will end your grief. of Bengal Dairy Pie Factory
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