Haiku of haikus:
Your eyes bring this to your brain
Because I own you.

Listen to wahmen!
Wahmens has the ovaries.
Mens has no menses.

Ah ain't no ways tired.
Just happen to have hot sauce
Here in my hand-bag

More gentle verse please.
More mindful centered haiku
About demon food.

Bro! Vindicated.
These psychotics cook their own,
then serve with white wine.

It's a one time thing
When you deep fry your own dink
Personal Corn Dog

And the Japanese
"chef" who fried up his own junk
to serve at dinner.

I swear it is true!
Look it up if you think not.
*Godzilla vomits.*

Do you remember
those weird German cannibals
who fried that guy's thing?

You want to skin me?
I think I can live with that.
What wine should I serve?

I will flay you fools
and then drape your bloody skins
on my city walls.

I went over there
Didn't find any candy
Smashed a YUGE pumpkin

Hey brilliant poets:
Go visit my blog RIGHT NOW.
That is an order.

https://connecthook.net/

Happy Halloween
The problem with fucking stiffs
Their dinks break right off

my sphincter's backed up
against a zombie and I
hope he enjoys it

polyassholeticks
sucking blood from my sphincter
for the greater good
for once in my life
I'd like to vote for someone
instead of against
backs against the wall
firing squad all lined up
blindfolded ka-boom
democratic farce
electric electoral
college keg party
don't forget roofies
we don't want to be awake
when these freaks fuck us

I get DOWN on CRACK!
Rent me some Russian hotties...
Light my pipe, Olga

Independent soul
With complicated software
Can do some damage

close, close to the edge
that political wedge
still the voters veg

You relived yourself
under an old willow tree?
So that's why it wept.

My new invention
Romantic Bidet for Two
Sing: "Love stinks, Yeah Yeah"

You can be the bum.
Refuse to wipe; be stinky!
Loiter in Starbucks.

Ass wiping is old.
Spray away the sticky poo.
Bidet all the way!

Much more economical and environmentally friendly. I'm quite serious about that. TP is hell on the sewer systems and takes a lot to break down the fibers. Wipes are even worse. Give the planet a small break and switch to bidet. Just water.
And it's a much better cleaning. Even my old wrinkly distended rectum comes away squeaky clean and smelling fresh.

My new invention
Robotic Arm for toilet
It wipes our asses!

Horrors! Oh, the shame.
Haiku, Poetry itself,
Lies stricken and mute.

I'm an reverse centaur. Rentcaur?
A horses head stuck on a human waist. And no arms. Tiny little dink. Loves apples. Not good for much. Slow runner. Great for side show entertainment. Keyboarding w/ my toes.

You wouldn't by chance
happen to be a centaur?
I've got sugar cubes

Whale farts are large
enough to fit a horse in.
Horses don't like that.

Come on, just this once
Photocopy your wide arse
On company time

A horse laughs inside
When he farts grass particles
In your sad old face

Unconditional
That's what kind of love it is
Even floor shitters!

X

Scotch tape dispenser.
A stapler that doesn't work.
Lots of stolen pens.

Periwinkle blue.
What else might be that color?
My winking wrinkly.

Willy Wonka Wank.
Fudge factory no thank you.
Salmon waterslide.

Put down the slide rule
and slide on over here Darth
Solve all my problems

Oscar and Felix
The Cephalopod Couple
That's juicy sushi

Japanese saying:
Once you go cephalapod,
you'll always be odd.

Then I'll be Billy.
Get laid and slice up my wrists.
Blood every damn where.

I put my schlong vid
on YouTube for you to watch.
How you like those warts!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idNJaLp6n0U

I'll be Nurse Ratched
Torn stockings and dirty knees
Your head problem solved

They both have a dink.
Will they fight or fuck, you ask.
The answer is yes.

One Flew Over the
Haiku's Nest. Lobotomies.
Awol fishing trips.

Under old willow
I drain another bottle
Pee stains kimono

Will they fight or fuck?
I'm on the edge of my seat
Which one has the dink?

Who'd win in a fight,
platypus or octopus?
They're both aquatic.

Live on Pay-Per-View!
Ink clouds vs. toxic spurs!
Once in lifetime!

Cephalopod once,
cephalopod twice; I hope
you have a Kleenex.

Say cephalopod
Say it in that whiskey voice
Then say it again

I do NOT hate Trump.
However, his supporters,
that's another thing.

Snort Cheetos powder.
Day-glo daydream holocaust.
Orange Tang enema.

Gordon Ramsey's cat
made great soup for ET Alf.
What a stupid show.

Alf's a stupid show.
Gordon Ramsey cracks me up.
"This is fucking shit!"

You old dinosaurs
Hating on Trump, not sure why,
Will become extinct.

Fried green tomato
Fannie Flagg's vertical smile
Known to wake the dead

jumped up from the grave
Skeleton Dab! Alan Funt!
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!