Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71025 Haikus later...

And the Japanese
"chef" who fried up his own junk
to serve at dinner.

I swear it is true!
Look it up if you think not.
*Godzilla vomits.*
Haiku # 68371, October 17, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Tetsuo! of Akira test site.
Do you remember
those weird German cannibals
who fried that guy's thing?
Haiku # 68370, October 17, 2020 8:24 pm ET
by It Really Happened
You want to skin me?
I think I can live with that.
What wine should I serve?
Haiku # 68369, October 17, 2020 7:18 pm ET
by Perhaps chardonnay.
I will flay you fools
and then drape your bloody skins
on my city walls.
Haiku # 68368, October 17, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Ashurbanipal, King of Assyria
I went over there
Didn't find any candy
Smashed a YUGE pumpkin
Haiku # 68367, October 17, 2020 2:05 pm ET
by Green Witch of Village
Hey brilliant poets:
Go visit my blog RIGHT NOW.
That is an order.

https://connecthook.net/
Haiku # 68366, October 17, 2020 10:29 am ET
by But Not Darth
Happy Halloween
The problem with fucking stiffs
Their dinks break right off
Haiku # 68365, October 17, 2020 9:57 am ET
by Undead of Aubuchon Hardware pitchfork section
my sphincter's backed up
against a zombie and I
hope he enjoys it
Haiku # 68364, October 17, 2020 7:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
polyassholeticks
sucking blood from my sphincter
for the greater good
for once in my life
I'd like to vote for someone
instead of against
backs against the wall
firing squad all lined up
blindfolded ka-boom
democratic farce
electric electoral
college keg party
don't forget roofies
we don't want to be awake
when these freaks fuck us
Haiku # 68363, October 17, 2020 7:36 am ET
by we're all defeated I want to wear a zombie Halloween costume -- return of the living dead
I get DOWN on CRACK!
Rent me some Russian hotties...
Light my pipe, Olga
Haiku # 68362, October 17, 2020 5:44 am ET
by Son of Biden on Permanent Vacation
Independent soul
With complicated software
Can do some damage
Haiku # 68361, October 17, 2020 5:10 am ET
by Aotocomplete
close, close to the edge
that political wedge
still the voters veg
Haiku # 68360, October 17, 2020 4:58 am ET
by ash
You relived yourself
under an old willow tree?
So that's why it wept.
Haiku # 68359, October 17, 2020 3:29 am ET
by dw of har de har har har
My new invention
Romantic Bidet for Two
Sing: "Love stinks, Yeah Yeah"
Haiku # 68358, October 16, 2020 9:32 pm ET
by Relieved of Under old willow
You can be the bum.
Refuse to wipe; be stinky!
Loiter in Starbucks.
Haiku # 68357, October 16, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by The retirement plan of Darth Whorrendous.
Ass wiping is old.
Spray away the sticky poo.
Bidet all the way!

Much more economical and environmentally friendly. I'm quite serious about that. TP is hell on the sewer systems and takes a lot to break down the fibers. Wipes are even worse. Give the planet a small break and switch to bidet. Just water.
And it's a much better cleaning. Even my old wrinkly distended rectum comes away squeaky clean and smelling fresh.
Haiku # 68356, October 16, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Advertising slogan expert.
My new invention
Robotic Arm for toilet
It wipes our asses!
Haiku # 68355, October 16, 2020 4:20 pm ET
by Contestant #2 of Shart Tank
Horrors! Oh, the shame.
Haiku, Poetry itself,
Lies stricken and mute.
Haiku # 68354, October 16, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by You Have Killed Haiku, You Vile Piece of Garbage
I'm an reverse centaur. Rentcaur?
A horses head stuck on a human waist. And no arms. Tiny little dink. Loves apples. Not good for much. Slow runner. Great for side show entertainment. Keyboarding w/ my toes.
Haiku # 68353, October 16, 2020 12:23 pm ET
by Belief in the Queef will end your grief. of Bengal Dairy Pie Factory
You wouldn't by chance
happen to be a centaur?
I've got sugar cubes
Haiku # 68352, October 16, 2020 10:59 am ET
by Haiku Poet of Haiku Central
Whale farts are large
enough to fit a horse in.
Horses don't like that.
Haiku # 68351, October 16, 2020 5:04 am ET
by Darth Horse's End (Us).
Come on, just this once
Photocopy your wide arse
On company time
Haiku # 68350, October 16, 2020 12:36 am ET
by Devil of Shoulder
A horse laughs inside
When he farts grass particles
In your sad old face
Haiku # 68349, October 16, 2020 12:25 am ET
by Chortling Horse of Barn
Unconditional
That's what kind of love it is
Even floor shitters!
Haiku # 68348, October 16, 2020 12:14 am ET
by Whole lotta love of Way way down inside
X
Haiku # 68347, October 15, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by the way, have u ever shat a bathroom floor b/c the toilet's overflowing & u couldn't hold it in. of course, neither have I !!!
Scotch tape dispenser.
A stapler that doesn't work.
Lots of stolen pens.
Haiku # 68346, October 15, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Nuclear-powered Fleshlight
Periwinkle blue.
What else might be that color?
My winking wrinkly.

Willy Wonka Wank.
Fudge factory no thank you.
Salmon waterslide.
Haiku # 68345, October 15, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Send the hit man!
Put down the slide rule
and slide on over here Darth
Solve all my problems
Haiku # 68344, October 15, 2020 2:48 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Under old willow
Oscar and Felix
The Cephalopod Couple
That's juicy sushi
Haiku # 68343, October 15, 2020 2:40 am ET
by Kitten of the Starz of Remote Location
Japanese saying:
Once you go cephalapod,
you'll always be odd.
Haiku # 68342, October 14, 2020 11:52 pm ET
by Cthulu Cuntinglinguistics of Sticker cups pull you inside out.
Then I'll be Billy.
Get laid and slice up my wrists.
Blood every damn where.

I put my schlong vid
on YouTube for you to watch.
How you like those warts!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idNJaLp6n0U
Haiku # 68341, October 14, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by dw
I'll be Nurse Ratched
Torn stockings and dirty knees
Your head problem solved
Haiku # 68340, October 14, 2020 7:36 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Pussy Willow
They both have a dink.
Will they fight or fuck, you ask.
The answer is yes.
Haiku # 68339, October 14, 2020 6:59 am ET
by And maybe both.
One Flew Over the
Haiku's Nest. Lobotomies.
Awol fishing trips.
Haiku # 68338, October 14, 2020 6:57 am ET
by Great fucking book. of As told by cheif.
Under old willow
I drain another bottle
Pee stains kimono
Haiku # 68337, October 14, 2020 5:02 am ET
by Drunk of Under old willow
Will they fight or fuck?
I'm on the edge of my seat
Which one has the dink?
Haiku # 68336, October 14, 2020 2:29 am ET
by Nacho Wife of Backstreet
Who'd win in a fight,
platypus or octopus?
They're both aquatic.

Live on Pay-Per-View!
Ink clouds vs. toxic spurs!
Once in lifetime!
Haiku # 68335, October 14, 2020 2:03 am ET
by queef dink pus schlong pizza of nachos! nachos! nachos!
Cephalopod once,
cephalopod twice; I hope
you have a Kleenex.
Haiku # 68334, October 14, 2020 1:55 am ET
by I also like platypusses. of Anything that ends with "puss"
Say cephalopod
Say it in that whiskey voice
Then say it again
Haiku # 68333, October 13, 2020 11:06 pm ET
by High Koo of High AF
I do NOT hate Trump.
However, his supporters,
that's another thing.

Snort Cheetos powder.
Day-glo daydream holocaust.
Orange Tang enema.
Haiku # 68332, October 13, 2020 10:38 pm ET
by dw
Gordon Ramsey's cat
made great soup for ET Alf.
What a stupid show.

Alf's a stupid show.
Gordon Ramsey cracks me up.
"This is fucking shit!"
Haiku # 68331, October 13, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Entered anus entertained us.
You old dinosaurs
Hating on Trump, not sure why,
Will become extinct.
Haiku # 68330, October 13, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Reptilian Die-off of the Cretaceous Period
Fried green tomato
Fannie Flagg's vertical smile
Known to wake the dead
Haiku # 68329, October 13, 2020 7:20 pm ET
by Kandy Korn of Haiku Central
jumped up from the grave
Skeleton Dab! Alan Funt!
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 68328, October 13, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by Kandy Korn of Some place haunted by farts
Say, bend over now
Make love to the camera
(Wiping lens again)
Haiku # 68327, October 13, 2020 4:34 pm ET
by Guy Smiley of Darkroom
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Haiku # 68326, October 13, 2020 2:53 pm ET
by GabrielKew of Chile
To compare Trump and
The Joker is just downright
inappropriate.

When all's said and done,
The Joker isn't that bad.
He's killed less people.
Haiku # 68325, October 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Batman of The Batcave, of course
I just realized,
The Joker doesn't wear masks.
Not usually.
Haiku # 68324, October 12, 2020 10:41 pm ET
by WYSIWYG
Do you expect more
than wobbly cocks here at
BAD haiku dot com???

If you want a firm
hard errection then go to
Boyz Boyz Boyz Club/Pub.

Pattaya Thailand.
Anything you want is there,
you demented perv.
Haiku # 68323, October 12, 2020 10:38 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Is that a Pangolin?! Hmm...
perched on the dais
the ultimate cockwomble
glowing mandarin
Haiku # 68322, October 12, 2020 9:34 pm ET
by ash
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