Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 328 Days and 76098 Haiku later...

You relived yourself
under an old willow tree?
So that's why it wept.
Haiku # 68359, October 17, 2020 3:29 am ET
by dw of har de har har har
My new invention
Romantic Bidet for Two
Sing: "Love stinks, Yeah Yeah"
Haiku # 68358, October 16, 2020 9:32 pm ET
by Relieved of Under old willow
You can be the bum.
Refuse to wipe; be stinky!
Loiter in Starbucks.
Haiku # 68357, October 16, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by The retirement plan of Darth Whorrendous.
Ass wiping is old.
Spray away the sticky poo.
Bidet all the way!

Much more economical and environmentally friendly. I'm quite serious about that. TP is hell on the sewer systems and takes a lot to break down the fibers. Wipes are even worse. Give the planet a small break and switch to bidet. Just water.
And it's a much better cleaning. Even my old wrinkly distended rectum comes away squeaky clean and smelling fresh.
Haiku # 68356, October 16, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Advertising slogan expert.
My new invention
Robotic Arm for toilet
It wipes our asses!
Haiku # 68355, October 16, 2020 4:20 pm ET
by Contestant #2 of Shart Tank
Horrors! Oh, the shame.
Haiku, Poetry itself,
Lies stricken and mute.
Haiku # 68354, October 16, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by You Have Killed Haiku, You Vile Piece of Garbage
I'm an reverse centaur. Rentcaur?
A horses head stuck on a human waist. And no arms. Tiny little dink. Loves apples. Not good for much. Slow runner. Great for side show entertainment. Keyboarding w/ my toes.
Haiku # 68353, October 16, 2020 12:23 pm ET
by Belief in the Queef will end your grief. of Bengal Dairy Pie Factory
You wouldn't by chance
happen to be a centaur?
I've got sugar cubes
Haiku # 68352, October 16, 2020 10:59 am ET
by Haiku Poet of Haiku Central
Whale farts are large
enough to fit a horse in.
Horses don't like that.
Haiku # 68351, October 16, 2020 5:04 am ET
by Darth Horse's End (Us).
Come on, just this once
Photocopy your wide arse
On company time
Haiku # 68350, October 16, 2020 12:36 am ET
by Devil of Shoulder
A horse laughs inside
When he farts grass particles
In your sad old face
Haiku # 68349, October 16, 2020 12:25 am ET
by Chortling Horse of Barn
That's what kind of love it is
Even floor shitters!
Haiku # 68348, October 16, 2020 12:14 am ET
by Whole lotta love of Way way down inside
Haiku # 68347, October 15, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by the way, have u ever shat a bathroom floor b/c the toilet's overflowing & u couldn't hold it in. of course, neither have I !!!
Scotch tape dispenser.
A stapler that doesn't work.
Lots of stolen pens.
Haiku # 68346, October 15, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Nuclear-powered Fleshlight
Periwinkle blue.
What else might be that color?
My winking wrinkly.

Willy Wonka Wank.
Fudge factory no thank you.
Salmon waterslide.
Haiku # 68345, October 15, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Send the hit man!
Put down the slide rule
and slide on over here Darth
Solve all my problems
Haiku # 68344, October 15, 2020 2:48 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Under old willow
Oscar and Felix
The Cephalopod Couple
That's juicy sushi
Haiku # 68343, October 15, 2020 2:40 am ET
by Kitten of the Starz of Remote Location
Japanese saying:
Once you go cephalapod,
you'll always be odd.
Haiku # 68342, October 14, 2020 11:52 pm ET
by Cthulu Cuntinglinguistics of Sticker cups pull you inside out.
Then I'll be Billy.
Get laid and slice up my wrists.
Blood every damn where.

I put my schlong vid
on YouTube for you to watch.
How you like those warts!
Haiku # 68341, October 14, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by dw
I'll be Nurse Ratched
Torn stockings and dirty knees
Your head problem solved
Haiku # 68340, October 14, 2020 7:36 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Pussy Willow
They both have a dink.
Will they fight or fuck, you ask.
The answer is yes.
Haiku # 68339, October 14, 2020 6:59 am ET
by And maybe both.
One Flew Over the
Haiku's Nest. Lobotomies.
Awol fishing trips.
Haiku # 68338, October 14, 2020 6:57 am ET
by Great fucking book. of As told by cheif.
Under old willow
I drain another bottle
Pee stains kimono
Haiku # 68337, October 14, 2020 5:02 am ET
by Drunk of Under old willow
Will they fight or fuck?
I'm on the edge of my seat
Which one has the dink?
Haiku # 68336, October 14, 2020 2:29 am ET
by Nacho Wife of Backstreet
Who'd win in a fight,
platypus or octopus?
They're both aquatic.

Live on Pay-Per-View!
Ink clouds vs. toxic spurs!
Once in lifetime!
Haiku # 68335, October 14, 2020 2:03 am ET
by queef dink pus schlong pizza of nachos! nachos! nachos!
Cephalopod once,
cephalopod twice; I hope
you have a Kleenex.
Haiku # 68334, October 14, 2020 1:55 am ET
by I also like platypusses. of Anything that ends with "puss"
Say cephalopod
Say it in that whiskey voice
Then say it again
Haiku # 68333, October 13, 2020 11:06 pm ET
by High Koo of High AF
I do NOT hate Trump.
However, his supporters,
that's another thing.

Snort Cheetos powder.
Day-glo daydream holocaust.
Orange Tang enema.
Haiku # 68332, October 13, 2020 10:38 pm ET
by dw
Gordon Ramsey's cat
made great soup for ET Alf.
What a stupid show.

Alf's a stupid show.
Gordon Ramsey cracks me up.
"This is fucking shit!"
Haiku # 68331, October 13, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Entered anus entertained us.
You old dinosaurs
Hating on Trump, not sure why,
Will become extinct.
Haiku # 68330, October 13, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Reptilian Die-off of the Cretaceous Period
Fried green tomato
Fannie Flagg's vertical smile
Known to wake the dead
Haiku # 68329, October 13, 2020 7:20 pm ET
by Kandy Korn of Haiku Central
jumped up from the grave
Skeleton Dab! Alan Funt!
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 68328, October 13, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by Kandy Korn of Some place haunted by farts
Say, bend over now
Make love to the camera
(Wiping lens again)
Haiku # 68327, October 13, 2020 4:34 pm ET
by Guy Smiley of Darkroom
Video marketing is emerging as one of the best instruments used by organizations to improve income and revenue. This article features a ton of fantastic online video marketing suggestions which you can use to improve your business. By smartly employing the ideal video marketing methods you are sure to enjoy good results.

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Once you have picture your online video, range from the Website url at the conclusion of your online video. This will enable other individuals to check out your site to learn more concerning your goods. This may be easily accomplished making use of regular video enhancing computer software. A large number of are available on-line for free or a nominal expense.

Have a screenshot of the website you manage inside your videos. This may allow viewers to see how your website is put in place. Screenshots also do wonderful in how-to video tutorials. Save your valuable screenshot, and with the help of video editing application, it is possible to put into action them in your videos.

When you create a online video for marketing purposes ensure that it stays below 2 minutes. You need your audience to view the whole meaning, and should it be too long you are going to most likely drop viewers as they click off. You could continue a thought or meaning within a followup online video as needed.

Take into account just how quick interest covers are online. You have about 15 moments in your video clip to grab your audience consideration. Make your complete articles below two a few minutes in size to obtain the most feasible impact. If this type of does not appear doable for which you need to go out there, distribute your site content across chapter video clips.

Make use of a constant technique in each of your video tutorials. Are your videos likely to be quirky or severe? Get your target audience plus the goods or services you supply when deciding what type of movie you would like to create. Utilize this to find out what you're going to make your video clips like. They can be more serious, or maybe more fun, dependant upon who you're striving to do business with.

The more video lessons which you make, the more visitors you will definately get. Even though 1 movie does terribly, doesn't imply that they all will. Also through making video tutorials on a regular basis, it can keep audiences interested and they will revisit to find out what new content you need to offer.

Question those who you perspective your video to do one thing. This is certainly normally called a "phone to activity". As an example, if you'd such as your audience to subscribe to a newsletter, allow them to have the option for clicking on a link within your movie outline. You just need to have the approach simple for them.

A major oversight of individuals unfamiliar with video marketing is because they attempt to design and style their videos such as a industrial. This really is a huge shut down. Individuals do not desire to see ads on his or her pcs. Instead, attempt to help make your video clips about events inside your sector or activities in your enterprise.

Consider setting out the path of your video. Fantastic video tutorials make it crystal clear in early stages what will be talked about during the movie. Just plunging in your content is not going to assist the audiences fully grasp the advantages of watching it. Start with an outline such as you would an essay to describe to visitors in the beginning what to anticipate while in the rest of the movie.

Testimonials support visitors understand more about different goods. This sort of movie is definitely the very least used marketing with video device. Usually do not only concentrate on your merchandise, but additionally include critiques about items that accentuate your products or services. For example, if your business concentrates on hair shampoo, do numerous product critiques on hair style goods.

As was mentioned before in this article, implementing an intelligent online video marketing strategy is one of the best ways to boost your company and enhance revenue. By carefully applying all of the fantastic guidance just read you should certainly considerably raise sales. Don't hang on, get moving right now.
Haiku # 68326, October 13, 2020 2:53 pm ET
by GabrielKew of Chile
To compare Trump and
The Joker is just downright

When all's said and done,
The Joker isn't that bad.
He's killed less people.
Haiku # 68325, October 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Batman of The Batcave, of course
I just realized,
The Joker doesn't wear masks.
Not usually.
Haiku # 68324, October 12, 2020 10:41 pm ET
Do you expect more
than wobbly cocks here at
BAD haiku dot com???

If you want a firm
hard errection then go to
Boyz Boyz Boyz Club/Pub.

Pattaya Thailand.
Anything you want is there,
you demented perv.
Haiku # 68323, October 12, 2020 10:38 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous of Is that a Pangolin?! Hmm...
perched on the dais
the ultimate cockwomble
glowing mandarin
Haiku # 68322, October 12, 2020 9:34 pm ET
by ash
immune to covid
immune to criticism
immune to the law

spouting his bullshit
with contagious mania
the joker unmasked
Haiku # 68321, October 12, 2020 9:31 pm ET
by ash
I don't use quill pens.
I use high pressure spray paint.
Paint your face with poo!

Fecal graffiti.
Surrealistic excrement.
Poop filled fireworks!

Rains down on your head.
It fills your mouth and nostrils.
And gets in your eyes.

All you see is shit.
All you hear and taste is shit.
You know where it's made.
Haiku # 68320, October 12, 2020 6:24 pm ET
by Iron Maiden China Doll of USA! USA! USA!...
Say, if you show your
private parts to everyone
Are they private parts?
Haiku # 68319, October 12, 2020 5:10 pm ET
by Shaggy of Commune
Quill pen dipped in poop
Now arrange the syllables
Signed, Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 68318, October 12, 2020 5:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Man about town
So what do you think of the DeBeer's diamond monopoly? Think of the industrial possibilities if only diamonds were not monopolized as precious gem-stones. Diamonds have amazing properties. But we enslave people to mine them and fight small wars over them, with "ethnic cleansing". Africa is so brutal, and the diamond trade is a big part of that, but it doesn't have to be that way. Silly humans.
Haiku # 68317, October 12, 2020 2:48 pm ET
by the way, would you like to buy my poetry book
Brazillian fart porn
takes you to a higher plane.
Donald Trump knows this.
Haiku # 68316, October 12, 2020 2:42 pm ET
by His orange hair symbolizing the orange robes of Thai Monks.
It is not carnal.
Flatus is spiritual.
Re-watch Ghostbusters!
Haiku # 68315, October 12, 2020 2:36 pm ET
by Ohmmm. Mani padme *prooooot*. of Temple of The Gaseous Buddha
Darth: broken record.
Depraved carnal tedium.
Farts. Private parts. Yawn . . . .
Haiku # 68314, October 12, 2020 2:08 pm ET
by Lard is Good for You of Small Doses
I turned down the job.
There are enough sinners here.
How I love their screams.

Rise above the scum.
Listening to Mozart now.
I've no cheese or wine.

Oh how sad it is.
Do not weep one tear for me.
Save it for dinner.
Haiku # 68313, October 12, 2020 7:24 am ET
by dw
Keyboard is melting.
Holy shit, I'm on fire.
Satan's on the phone.

What does He want now?
Offering me employment.
Reading poetry.

Beer, hotubs, and babes.
The benefits aren't too good.
No 401-K ?!
Haiku # 68312, October 12, 2020 12:31 am ET
by Darth Whore-End-Us
Free Mason's don't work for free.
Nor are they masons!
Haiku # 68311, October 11, 2020 11:14 pm ET
by Master Carravagio of Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll -- no conspiracies here.
Break out the big guns.
Davinci Code's dead fetus.
Talk about karma!
Haiku # 68310, October 11, 2020 10:21 pm ET
by Leonardo of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
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