But have you ever
been driven to dink a car?
Exhaust pipe dripping.
by Jay Leno, of course. That's no garage - that's my harem!
Nervous passenger
Never seen anyone drive
a car with their dink
by Nervous passenger of Passenger seat
Covid's getting old.
Ebola -- that's what we need!
Sweeping through the states.
Good excuse to shoot.
Is he drunk or infected?
Shoot him anyway!
"What if he's just drunk?"
"Rookie, can't you see he's black?!
Shoot him regardless!"
by Bowel movements fecal matter.
Green zombie bootie
make my boner smell funky.
Jealous vampires.
by Do zombies have hollow weenies?
I dreamed of you all
And it became a nightmare.
I never woke up.
by Bloodfire of Vampire
When the zombies run
You'll have a hard time cumming
with that big boner
by Nostrildammedup of I mean, who didn't see this cumming?
When the zombies come
You'll have a hard time running
with that big boner
by Nostradongus of Upcoming Events
Somebody's on meth.
And, for once, it isn't me.
Goodnight, vampire.
I cooked my dink once.
The next day it grew right back.
Call me Darth Gecko.
by Psst, hey, wanna buy some car insurance?
One more before bed.
I climb into my coffin:
Sweet eternity!
by Vampire of Bloodfire
Anastasia. Wow.
Last name Dragomirova.
Watch that Greek girl jump!
by Pan-Hellenic Games of Blue Sports
Where is Wong Lo Fan?
I hope he is still fighting
For the right (not wrong)
by Kalifornia Uber Alles of DKs
I now surpass me.
I now transcend my own verse,
Ascending Godward.
by Sighting the Portals of Haiku Heaven
Listen to Salty.
Salty possesses pure truth.
Now let the salt flow.
by Sodium Chloride of Sublimity in Salinity
Haiku of haikus:
Your eyes bring this to your brain
Because I own you.
by Your Friendly Omnipotent Overlord of Telepathy
Listen to wahmen!
Wahmens has the ovaries.
Mens has no menses.
by Moon Has Control of Matriarchy
Ah ain't no ways tired.
Just happen to have hot sauce
Here in my hand-bag
by Hillbillary of Hellarious
More gentle verse please.
More mindful centered haiku
About demon food.
by Curse Your Name of My Name
Bro! Vindicated.
These psychotics cook their own,
then serve with white wine.
by Franky of Human Bratwurst
It's a one time thing
When you deep fry your own dink
Personal Corn Dog
by Pesto of Bird Nesto
And the Japanese
"chef" who fried up his own junk
to serve at dinner.
I swear it is true!
Look it up if you think not.
*Godzilla vomits.*
by Tetsuo! of Akira test site.
Do you remember
those weird German cannibals
who fried that guy's thing?
by It Really Happened
You want to skin me?
I think I can live with that.
What wine should I serve?
by Perhaps chardonnay.
I will flay you fools
and then drape your bloody skins
on my city walls.
by Ashurbanipal, King of Assyria
I went over there
Didn't find any candy
Smashed a YUGE pumpkin
by Green Witch of Village
Hey brilliant poets:
Go visit my blog RIGHT NOW.
That is an order.
https://connecthook.net/
by But Not Darth
Happy Halloween
The problem with fucking stiffs
Their dinks break right off
by Undead of Aubuchon Hardware pitchfork section
my sphincter's backed up
against a zombie and I
hope he enjoys it
by Anonymous Poet
polyassholeticks
sucking blood from my sphincter
for the greater good
for once in my life
I'd like to vote for someone
instead of against
backs against the wall
firing squad all lined up
blindfolded ka-boom
democratic farce
electric electoral
college keg party
don't forget roofies
we don't want to be awake
when these freaks fuck us
by we're all defeated I want to wear a zombie Halloween costume -- return of the living dead
I get DOWN on CRACK!
Rent me some Russian hotties...
Light my pipe, Olga
by Son of Biden on Permanent Vacation
Independent soul
With complicated software
Can do some damage
by Aotocomplete
close, close to the edge
that political wedge
still the voters veg
by ash
You relived yourself
under an old willow tree?
So that's why it wept.
by dw of har de har har har
My new invention
Romantic Bidet for Two
Sing: "Love stinks, Yeah Yeah"
by Relieved of Under old willow
You can be the bum.
Refuse to wipe; be stinky!
Loiter in Starbucks.
by The retirement plan of Darth Whorrendous.
Ass wiping is old.
Spray away the sticky poo.
Bidet all the way!
Much more economical and environmentally friendly. I'm quite serious about that. TP is hell on the sewer systems and takes a lot to break down the fibers. Wipes are even worse. Give the planet a small break and switch to bidet. Just water.
And it's a much better cleaning. Even my old wrinkly distended rectum comes away squeaky clean and smelling fresh.
by Darth Whorrendous of Advertising slogan expert.
My new invention
Robotic Arm for toilet
It wipes our asses!
by Contestant #2 of Shart Tank
Horrors! Oh, the shame.
Haiku, Poetry itself,
Lies stricken and mute.
by You Have Killed Haiku, You Vile Piece of Garbage
I'm an reverse centaur. Rentcaur?
A horses head stuck on a human waist. And no arms. Tiny little dink. Loves apples. Not good for much. Slow runner. Great for side show entertainment. Keyboarding w/ my toes.
by Belief in the Queef will end your grief. of Bengal Dairy Pie Factory
You wouldn't by chance
happen to be a centaur?
I've got sugar cubes
by Haiku Poet of Haiku Central
Whale farts are large
enough to fit a horse in.
Horses don't like that.
by Darth Horse's End (Us).
Come on, just this once
Photocopy your wide arse
On company time
by Devil of Shoulder
A horse laughs inside
When he farts grass particles
In your sad old face
by Chortling Horse of Barn
Unconditional
That's what kind of love it is
Even floor shitters!
by Whole lotta love of Way way down inside
X
by the way, have u ever shat a bathroom floor b/c the toilet's overflowing & u couldn't hold it in. of course, neither have I !!!
Scotch tape dispenser.
A stapler that doesn't work.
Lots of stolen pens.
by Nuclear-powered Fleshlight
Periwinkle blue.
What else might be that color?
My winking wrinkly.
Willy Wonka Wank.
Fudge factory no thank you.
Salmon waterslide.
by Send the hit man!
Put down the slide rule
and slide on over here Darth
Solve all my problems
by Gatita Estrella of Under old willow
Oscar and Felix
The Cephalopod Couple
That's juicy sushi
by Kitten of the Starz of Remote Location
Japanese saying:
Once you go cephalapod,
you'll always be odd.
by Cthulu Cuntinglinguistics of Sticker cups pull you inside out.
Then I'll be Billy.
Get laid and slice up my wrists.
Blood every damn where.
I put my schlong vid
on YouTube for you to watch.
How you like those warts!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idNJaLp6n0U
by dw
