Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Paintball! It's paintball.
Evil fascists use paintball.
Blame Trump for paintball.
Haiku # 67971 September 5, 2020 9:00 am ET
by Passive-aggressive Soyboy of AK 47
My pussy tastes sweet
Wilfred Brimley ate me out
Got diabetes
Haiku # 67970 September 5, 2020 7:30 am ET
by Sugar Pie Honeycunt of Undisclosed
Synesthesia
Ordering long handled spoons
Taste buds in my arse
Haiku # 67969 September 5, 2020 7:27 am ET
by Headstander of Empty restaurant (more poutine for me)
Regularity
Cereal can help with that
Tear you a new one
Haiku # 67968 September 5, 2020 7:21 am ET
by Ass Tiger of Canada
You ever wonder if Tony
The Tiger is one of those
man-eaters?
Cat's are not suppoed
to be able to taste "sweet",
So what's up with that?!
Haiku # 67967 September 5, 2020 6:18 am ET
by A non-e-mouse poet
Huffing Glade air freshener,
the emergency room staff
complimented me on how
good I smell. And then my
nut zit exploded again.
Haiku # 67966 September 5, 2020 6:14 am ET
by Don't you hate that.
Go shunt a stunt truck
De-funk the cunting runts NOW!
Your stank asses stunk.
Haiku # 67965 September 4, 2020 8:54 pm ET
by Factory of Olfactory Factors
infected ingrown hair.
just don't ask where.
pus flew through the air.
now it itches.
Haiku # 67964 September 4, 2020 8:24 pm ET
by Jack Karowacky
I visited queef.com.
Strangely satisfying to the ear drums.
Next time I will download to play at work.
Haiku # 67963 September 3, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Thomas shunts trucks. of That almost sounds nasty.
That female train Rebecca in Thomas the Train is fucking sexy.
I'd pull a train on her.
Haiku # 67962 September 3, 2020 7:28 pm ET
by Know what I mean?
Those are my footsteps
Actually those are bootprints
I walked on your face
Haiku # 67961 September 3, 2020 7:19 pm ET
by GOD of AROUNDETH
Dear God, get me through this shitty day, and if not, then thanks for nothing (as I expect b/c that's usually the way it is).
Haiku # 67960 September 3, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by What a half-assed prayer is that? of Ha ha ha.
Alliteration
Almost like cunnilingus
without the fish taste
Haiku # 67959 September 3, 2020 7:17 am ET
by James Caan of Under old willow
Biological barricades bounce beautifully but bats bore bumble bees.
Haiku # 67958 September 3, 2020 5:24 am ET
by
French fries booger.
You might think that's an attempt at humor, but such a profound statement has never been made.
Garbage truck backhoe school bus.
Haiku # 67957 September 3, 2020 4:20 am ET
by
Bigfoot, we need you
Bring sense to these troubled time's
Give us beef jerky
Haiku # 67956 September 3, 2020 12:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's when you jumped out
The second story window
Or did I push you?
Haiku # 67955 September 2, 2020 11:31 pm ET
by Forgetful of Lawn
I'm not a robot
But my penis is moving
Like a jackhammer
Haiku # 67954 September 2, 2020 12:08 pm ET
by The Unexplained of Hard to say where
Velour penis sheath
Relax and put your feet up
Enjoy the high life
Haiku # 67953 September 2, 2020 12:04 pm ET
by Dee Luxx of Haiku Central
Experience this:
Life reduced to syllables.
True distillation.
Haiku # 67952 September 2, 2020 9:39 am ET
by Distillation of Desolation
You wasted your wish
And it's too late to change it
You wasted your wish
Haiku # 67951 September 2, 2020 9:25 am ET
by Grimace of Undisclosed
Received transmission
Standing by the dishwasher
I got the signal
Haiku # 67950 September 2, 2020 6:03 am ET
by Starkitten of Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Makes a good doorstop
Neck cradling travel pillow
Pretend pet serpent
Haiku # 67949 September 2, 2020 5:59 am ET
by Peniszon Prime of Warehouse
I miss cuntfart.
Let's all send him a psychic message.
Maybe he'll get back on.
Maybe he has tinfoil around his head.
You know, to block us out because he wants some peace and quiet.
We'll have to concentrate really really hard to break through.
Coordinate at 7:42 am EST, Thursday morning.
Send him this message:
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Haiku # 67948 September 2, 2020 5:55 am ET
by The weavil in vhs' breakfast cereal
My enormous penis
does not know how to count syllables.
What a dick!
Haiku # 67947 September 2, 2020 5:49 am ET
by But it can use an iphone of and enter things here... and there, if you know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge
We offer flat rate
We use anal weed whacker
For bush like you got
Haiku # 67946 September 1, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by That Guy of Kiosk
A good specialty !
How much for a b-hole trim?
Hate dingleberries
Haiku # 67945 September 1, 2020 5:58 pm ET
by Spazzzzzz
Now specializing
In the trimming/removal
Of your pubic hair
Haiku # 67944 September 1, 2020 5:37 pm ET
by ch ch ch chia of Kiosk
Down in the bunker
I thought it looked pretty good
This toothbrush moustache
Haiku # 67943 September 1, 2020 5:34 pm ET
by That Guy of Bunker
social distancing ?
then get the fuck outta here
i'll catch you later
Haiku # 67942 September 1, 2020 8:56 am ET
by ash
mostly there's haiku
but far too often there's not
and it's bad, haiku
Haiku # 67941 September 1, 2020 8:49 am ET
by ash
You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
Haiku # 67938 August 31, 2020 9:03 pm ET
by Ticks & Leeches
Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
Haiku # 67937 August 31, 2020 7:06 pm ET
by
That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
Haiku # 67936 August 31, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
Haiku # 67935 August 31, 2020 8:22 am ET
by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
Haiku # 67934 August 31, 2020 7:07 am ET
by
You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
Haiku # 67933 August 31, 2020 7:06 am ET
by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku # 67932 August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET
by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku # 67931 August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET
by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku # 67930 August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Milo powder incindiary device.
Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku # 67929 August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by don't try it
Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku # 67928 August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET
by
being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku # 67927 August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET
by ash
If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku # 67926 August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET
by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku # 67925 August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET
by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku # 67924 August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Tragedy of Dumbphones
Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku # 67923 August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET
by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku # 67922 August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku # 67921 August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
What do Greek cows say?
µ
Haiku # 67920 August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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