Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

Those are my footsteps
Actually those are bootprints
I walked on your face
Haiku # 67961, September 3, 2020 7:19 pm ET
Dear God, get me through this shitty day, and if not, then thanks for nothing (as I expect b/c that's usually the way it is).
Haiku # 67960, September 3, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by What a half-assed prayer is that? of Ha ha ha.
Almost like cunnilingus
without the fish taste
Haiku # 67959, September 3, 2020 7:17 am ET
by James Caan of Under old willow
Biological barricades bounce beautifully but bats bore bumble bees.
Haiku # 67958, September 3, 2020 5:24 am ET
French fries booger.
You might think that's an attempt at humor, but such a profound statement has never been made.
Garbage truck backhoe school bus.
Haiku # 67957, September 3, 2020 4:20 am ET
Bigfoot, we need you
Bring sense to these troubled time's
Give us beef jerky
Haiku # 67956, September 3, 2020 12:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That's when you jumped out
The second story window
Or did I push you?
Haiku # 67955, September 2, 2020 11:31 pm ET
by Forgetful of Lawn
I'm not a robot
But my penis is moving
Like a jackhammer
Haiku # 67954, September 2, 2020 12:08 pm ET
by The Unexplained of Hard to say where
Velour penis sheath
Relax and put your feet up
Enjoy the high life
Haiku # 67953, September 2, 2020 12:04 pm ET
by Dee Luxx of Haiku Central
Experience this:
Life reduced to syllables.
True distillation.
Haiku # 67952, September 2, 2020 9:39 am ET
by Distillation of Desolation
You wasted your wish
And it's too late to change it
You wasted your wish
Haiku # 67951, September 2, 2020 9:25 am ET
by Grimace of Undisclosed
Received transmission
Standing by the dishwasher
I got the signal
Haiku # 67950, September 2, 2020 6:03 am ET
by Starkitten of Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Makes a good doorstop
Neck cradling travel pillow
Pretend pet serpent
Haiku # 67949, September 2, 2020 5:59 am ET
by Peniszon Prime of Warehouse
I miss cuntfart.
Let's all send him a psychic message.
Maybe he'll get back on.
Maybe he has tinfoil around his head.
You know, to block us out because he wants some peace and quiet.
We'll have to concentrate really really hard to break through.
Coordinate at 7:42 am EST, Thursday morning.
Send him this message:
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Haiku # 67948, September 2, 2020 5:55 am ET
by The weavil in vhs' breakfast cereal
My enormous penis
does not know how to count syllables.
What a dick!
Haiku # 67947, September 2, 2020 5:49 am ET
by But it can use an iphone of and enter things here... and there, if you know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge
We offer flat rate
We use anal weed whacker
For bush like you got
Haiku # 67946, September 1, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by That Guy of Kiosk
A good specialty !
How much for a b-hole trim?
Hate dingleberries
Haiku # 67945, September 1, 2020 5:58 pm ET
by Spazzzzzz
Now specializing
In the trimming/removal
Of your pubic hair
Haiku # 67944, September 1, 2020 5:37 pm ET
by ch ch ch chia of Kiosk
Down in the bunker
I thought it looked pretty good
This toothbrush moustache
Haiku # 67943, September 1, 2020 5:34 pm ET
by That Guy of Bunker
social distancing ?
then get the fuck outta here
i'll catch you later
Haiku # 67942, September 1, 2020 8:56 am ET
by ash
mostly there's haiku
but far too often there's not
and it's bad, haiku
Haiku # 67941, September 1, 2020 8:49 am ET
by ash
You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
Haiku # 67938, August 31, 2020 9:03 pm ET
by Ticks & Leeches
Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
Haiku # 67937, August 31, 2020 7:06 pm ET
That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
Haiku # 67936, August 31, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
Haiku # 67935, August 31, 2020 8:22 am ET
by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
Haiku # 67934, August 31, 2020 7:07 am ET
You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
Haiku # 67933, August 31, 2020 7:06 am ET
by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku # 67932, August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET
by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku # 67931, August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET
by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku # 67930, August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Milo powder incindiary device.
Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku # 67929, August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by don't try it
Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku # 67928, August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET
being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku # 67927, August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET
by ash
If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku # 67926, August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET
by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku # 67925, August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET
by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku # 67924, August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Tragedy of Dumbphones
Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku # 67923, August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET
by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku # 67922, August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku # 67921, August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
What do Greek cows say?
Haiku # 67920, August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
Haiku # 67919, August 28, 2020 4:02 pm ET
by dw
You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
Haiku # 67918, August 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET
by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
Haiku # 67917, August 28, 2020 9:58 am ET
by No Exit of Existential Hell
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
Haiku # 67916, August 28, 2020 7:00 am ET
by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
Haiku # 67913, August 27, 2020 9:46 am ET
by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
Islam is superb.
It is the height of all truth.
Sharia is good.
Haiku # 67912, August 27, 2020 9:13 am ET
by Imam of Haiku
Play Russian roulette.
But play it against yourself.
You know, as practice.

Dirty fucking whores.
Baby killing stinky cunts.
Sucking the pig's skin.
Haiku # 67911, August 27, 2020 8:31 am ET
by of
it's a thankless job
Wiping down the craps table
Brown stains won't come out
Haiku # 67910, August 27, 2020 7:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Shitty Job
Las Vegas restroom
Porcelain one arm bandit
Just shit the jackpot
Haiku # 67909, August 27, 2020 12:44 am ET
by Relieved of Ten pounds lighter
The introduction
Hello to your little friend
The latest member
Haiku # 67908, August 26, 2020 9:58 pm ET
by Why did you spit on me of When I shook your hand ( I think)
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