BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
344 Days
68441 Haikus
You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
Haiku #67938, by Ticks & Leeches
August 31, 2020 9:03 pm ET

Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
Haiku #67937, by
August 31, 2020 7:06 pm ET

That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
Haiku #67936, by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
August 31, 2020 3:09 pm ET

What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
Haiku #67935, by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
August 31, 2020 8:22 am ET

I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
Haiku #67934, by
August 31, 2020 7:07 am ET

You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
Haiku #67933, by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
August 31, 2020 7:06 am ET

She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku #67932, by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET

So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku #67931, by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET

What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku #67930, by Milo powder incindiary device.
August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET

Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku #67929, by don't try it
August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET

Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku #67928, by
August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET

being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku #67927, by ash
August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET

If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku #67926, by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET

Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku #67925, by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET

Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku #67924, by Tragedy of Dumbphones
August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET

Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku #67923, by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET

Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku #67922, by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET

Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku #67921, by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET

What do Greek cows say?
Haiku #67920, by Anonymous Poet
August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET

her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
Haiku #67919, by dw
August 28, 2020 4:02 pm ET

You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
Haiku #67918, by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
August 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET

American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
Haiku #67917, by No Exit of Existential Hell
August 28, 2020 9:58 am ET

Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
Haiku #67916, by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
August 28, 2020 7:00 am ET

Haiku #67915, by BryanLog of Togo
August 28, 2020 5:31 am ET

Best group for meet fun people
Haiku #67914, by Lovely Roni Taylor of LA
August 28, 2020 3:10 am ET

I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
Haiku #67913, by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
August 27, 2020 9:46 am ET

Islam is superb.
It is the height of all truth.
Sharia is good.
Haiku #67912, by Imam of Haiku
August 27, 2020 9:13 am ET

Play Russian roulette.
But play it against yourself.
You know, as practice.

Dirty fucking whores.
Baby killing stinky cunts.
Sucking the pig's skin.
Haiku #67911, by of
August 27, 2020 8:31 am ET

it's a thankless job
Wiping down the craps table
Brown stains won't come out
Haiku #67910, by Anonymous Poet of Shitty Job
August 27, 2020 7:49 am ET

Las Vegas restroom
Porcelain one arm bandit
Just shit the jackpot
Haiku #67909, by Relieved of Ten pounds lighter
August 27, 2020 12:44 am ET

The introduction
Hello to your little friend
The latest member
Haiku #67908, by Why did you spit on me of When I shook your hand ( I think)
August 26, 2020 9:58 pm ET

I wish I was there.
I'd loot me a new TV.
And get boob implants.
Haiku #67907, by This poem sponsored by the healtcare act. of I am not there.
August 26, 2020 9:15 pm ET

Satellite pancakes.
Crispy little prostitutes.
Dip them in honey!
Haiku #67906, by Bees understand. of Monosacharide breakfast.
August 26, 2020 7:04 pm ET

My balls have a lump.
But you don't need to worry.
It's on the surface.

Oddly moves about.
One time it looked like a face.
Much like Donald Trump.

But it wasn't orange.
Until I gave it Cheetoes.
Now looks just like him.

Hail to the cheif.
Bow down before my nut sack.
America's King!
Haiku #67905, by New World Odor of Not as smelly as your socks.
August 26, 2020 5:39 pm ET

Here's my new penis.
It might be here for some time.
Say hello to it.
Haiku #67904, by Noticer's Grandmother of Graceland, TN
August 26, 2020 4:39 pm ET

I want corona.
The sooner we all get it,
the sooner it's done!
Haiku #67903, by Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner!
August 26, 2020 3:23 am ET

They're small and stinky.
Sea horses don't make much cum.
You don't believe me?

Then you have never
been to the octopus's
garden by the sea.

Sea horses like me.
They like the stench of my feet.
And also their size.

Who could like YOUR feet?
I mean, just look at your feet!
Cloven hooved piggy.
Haiku #67902, by Was that sea horses or sea whores? of dw
August 26, 2020 2:42 am ET

C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku #67901, by Noticer of Details of Close by
August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET

C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku #67900, by Noticer of Details of Close by
August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET

It would probably
take millions of sea horses'
cum to fill a shoe.

I know because I've
sucked off many sea horses.
I needed the cash.
Haiku #67899, by Addicted to sea weed.
August 25, 2020 2:07 pm ET

Hamster testicles.
That's what corona looks like.
Don't ask how I know.
Haiku #67898, by of It's cheesy.
August 25, 2020 12:13 am ET

The Great Pyramid
And wouldn't it be my luck
Stepped in camel dung
Haiku #67897, by Chillaxtopher Walken of Under old willow
August 24, 2020 9:21 pm ET

The ejaculate
of a thousand seahorses
May it fill your shoe
Haiku #67896, by Cock Justblow of At sea
August 24, 2020 7:59 pm ET

Before Donald Trump
I never had the nut gas...
Except that one time.

You know that business
on Cato Neimoidia,
that... that doesn't count.
Haiku #67895, by What happens on Cato Neimoidia stays on Cato Neimoidia.
August 24, 2020 1:50 pm ET

A pussy will-o,
better than pussy won't-o.
Am I right or what?
Haiku #67894, by Truth!
August 24, 2020 1:42 pm ET

I just wish someone
would call Darth to come over
and foul the waters . . .
Haiku #67893, by Limpid Pools of Orientalism
August 24, 2020 8:39 am ET

And by the way, Darth
Thanks for using the word DINK
A true gentleman
Haiku #67892, by Lady of Pussy Willow
August 24, 2020 1:28 am ET

That sunken shipwreck
I just used your bathroom, bud
Bowel Torpedo
Haiku #67891, by Gorgon Leadfoot of Nearest Exit
August 23, 2020 10:49 pm ET

The Funyun Ringtoss
I knew you were a fun guy
Dink like a toadstool
Haiku #67890, by cheech and schlong of Dink rink
August 23, 2020 9:53 pm ET

It smells like pot smoke.
My dink gets high without me.
And my stash is gone.
Haiku #67889, by I feel so rejected. of But can you blame it.
August 23, 2020 6:27 pm ET