Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku # 67932, August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET
by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku # 67931, August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET
by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku # 67930, August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Milo powder incindiary device.
Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku # 67929, August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by don't try it
Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku # 67928, August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET
being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku # 67927, August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET
by ash
If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku # 67926, August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET
by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku # 67925, August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET
by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku # 67924, August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Tragedy of Dumbphones
Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku # 67923, August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET
by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku # 67922, August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku # 67921, August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
What do Greek cows say?
Haiku # 67920, August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
Haiku # 67919, August 28, 2020 4:02 pm ET
by dw
You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
Haiku # 67918, August 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET
by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
Haiku # 67917, August 28, 2020 9:58 am ET
by No Exit of Existential Hell
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
Haiku # 67916, August 28, 2020 7:00 am ET
by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
Haiku # 67913, August 27, 2020 9:46 am ET
by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
Islam is superb.
It is the height of all truth.
Sharia is good.
Haiku # 67912, August 27, 2020 9:13 am ET
by Imam of Haiku
Play Russian roulette.
But play it against yourself.
You know, as practice.

Dirty fucking whores.
Baby killing stinky cunts.
Sucking the pig's skin.
Haiku # 67911, August 27, 2020 8:31 am ET
by of
it's a thankless job
Wiping down the craps table
Brown stains won't come out
Haiku # 67910, August 27, 2020 7:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Shitty Job
Las Vegas restroom
Porcelain one arm bandit
Just shit the jackpot
Haiku # 67909, August 27, 2020 12:44 am ET
by Relieved of Ten pounds lighter
The introduction
Hello to your little friend
The latest member
Haiku # 67908, August 26, 2020 9:58 pm ET
by Why did you spit on me of When I shook your hand ( I think)
I wish I was there.
I'd loot me a new TV.
And get boob implants.
Haiku # 67907, August 26, 2020 9:15 pm ET
by This poem sponsored by the healtcare act. of I am not there.
Satellite pancakes.
Crispy little prostitutes.
Dip them in honey!
Haiku # 67906, August 26, 2020 7:04 pm ET
by Bees understand. of Monosacharide breakfast.
My balls have a lump.
But you don't need to worry.
It's on the surface.

Oddly moves about.
One time it looked like a face.
Much like Donald Trump.

But it wasn't orange.
Until I gave it Cheetoes.
Now looks just like him.

Hail to the cheif.
Bow down before my nut sack.
America's King!
Haiku # 67905, August 26, 2020 5:39 pm ET
by New World Odor of Not as smelly as your socks.
Here's my new penis.
It might be here for some time.
Say hello to it.
Haiku # 67904, August 26, 2020 4:39 pm ET
by Noticer's Grandmother of Graceland, TN
I want corona.
The sooner we all get it,
the sooner it's done!
Haiku # 67903, August 26, 2020 3:23 am ET
by Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner!
They're small and stinky.
Sea horses don't make much cum.
You don't believe me?

Then you have never
been to the octopus's
garden by the sea.

Sea horses like me.
They like the stench of my feet.
And also their size.

Who could like YOUR feet?
I mean, just look at your feet!
Cloven hooved piggy.
Haiku # 67902, August 26, 2020 2:42 am ET
by Was that sea horses or sea whores? of dw
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku # 67901, August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Close by
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku # 67900, August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Close by
It would probably
take millions of sea horses'
cum to fill a shoe.

I know because I've
sucked off many sea horses.
I needed the cash.
Haiku # 67899, August 25, 2020 2:07 pm ET
by Addicted to sea weed.
Hamster testicles.
That's what corona looks like.
Don't ask how I know.
Haiku # 67898, August 25, 2020 12:13 am ET
by of It's cheesy.
The Great Pyramid
And wouldn't it be my luck
Stepped in camel dung
Haiku # 67897, August 24, 2020 9:21 pm ET
by Chillaxtopher Walken of Under old willow
The ejaculate
of a thousand seahorses
May it fill your shoe
Haiku # 67896, August 24, 2020 7:59 pm ET
by Cock Justblow of At sea
Before Donald Trump
I never had the nut gas...
Except that one time.

You know that business
on Cato Neimoidia,
that... that doesn't count.
Haiku # 67895, August 24, 2020 1:50 pm ET
by What happens on Cato Neimoidia stays on Cato Neimoidia.
A pussy will-o,
better than pussy won't-o.
Am I right or what?
Haiku # 67894, August 24, 2020 1:42 pm ET
by Truth!
I just wish someone
would call Darth to come over
and foul the waters . . .
Haiku # 67893, August 24, 2020 8:39 am ET
by Limpid Pools of Orientalism
And by the way, Darth
Thanks for using the word DINK
A true gentleman
Haiku # 67892, August 24, 2020 1:28 am ET
by Lady of Pussy Willow
That sunken shipwreck
I just used your bathroom, bud
Bowel Torpedo
Haiku # 67891, August 23, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by Gorgon Leadfoot of Nearest Exit
The Funyun Ringtoss
I knew you were a fun guy
Dink like a toadstool
Haiku # 67890, August 23, 2020 9:53 pm ET
by cheech and schlong of Dink rink
It smells like pot smoke.
My dink gets high without me.
And my stash is gone.
Haiku # 67889, August 23, 2020 6:27 pm ET
by I feel so rejected. of But can you blame it.
A gassy penis.
Testicular fartitute.
You thought queefs were weird?!
Haiku # 67888, August 23, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by Why am I doing this? of Haiku are so stupid.
Long shlong strong dong song.
King-kong Hong Kong wrong wrong wrong!
Bong throng thong tong GONG!
Haiku # 67887, August 23, 2020 6:15 pm ET
by Haiku @ The Gong Show. of Don't you hate the way the haiku sometimes run into the "name and location" field?!
You do sudoku?
Brew true kangaroo poo stew.
Zoo hullaballoo.
Haiku # 67886, August 23, 2020 6:05 pm ET
by Boo-boo and Yogi Bear of Bears are not robots.
I used Elmer's glue.
The kind that kids use at school.
'Cause it's non-toxic.
Haiku # 67885, August 23, 2020 10:13 am ET
by We don't want any dead koala bears on our hands now do we. of Eucalyptus?! You can lick this!
Asking for a friend
What did you use for the glue?
You could make your own
Haiku # 67884, August 23, 2020 5:17 am ET
by construction guy of hanging from helmet in comnercial
I glued on the eyes.
They fell off when I got hard.
She was not impressed.
Haiku # 67883, August 23, 2020 2:28 am ET
by Darth Whorrendous and his koala bear sidekick.
Balloon animals
Wrap it in sour gummy worms
Good bang for your buck
Haiku # 67882, August 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET
by Exhibitionists of Dollar Store
Looking down your pants
A little too familiar
Try these googly eyes
Haiku # 67881, August 22, 2020 11:39 pm ET
by of Make it fun
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