Balloon animals
Wrap it in sour gummy worms
Good bang for your buck
by Exhibitionists of Dollar Store
Looking down your pants
A little too familiar
Try these googly eyes
by Câ of Make it fun
Can I poop on you?
I'll give you fifty dollars.
I love you so much.
by Elmo visits Grouchland
I need a fucking drink.
That last line had six syllables.
That one had eight.
And I still need a drink.
by Maybe 2 bottle of the Tussin DM of dextromethorphan dungeon master
I smoked peanut skins
Did nothing, gave me bad breath
Complete waste of time
by At least it wasn't penis skins
Smoking bananas.
That's one thing I've never tried.
How about you, sir?
by Anything for a buzz.
Snorting snail slime.
Dehydrated and powdered.
Frightening visions.
by Ready yourself to be in the same mental state of Darth Whorrendous.
All Nude Aged Meat Fest
Wonka and Walton elders
Now that's an orgy
by Cocoon of Wrinkled Junque of They took out their dentures
You are Grinch, Grinch, GRINCH !!
Flame-ass dribblers of bad worse:
You are brat-Wurstest.
by Read the books "Damned" and "Doomed" of Chuck Palahniuk. He also wrote Fight Club
You are cringe, cringe, CRINGE !
Lame-ass scribblers of bad verse:
you are the Greatest.
by Pathetic Poets of Doomed and Damned
the end of times soon
because all things must finish
like this brief haiku
by ash
God hates all poets.
Their creations are nearly
as wretched as His.
by
Under disco-lights
I reassess existence:
over-rated noise.
by Jacket Lapels of of Perfect Nostalgia
Hey, why the long face?
Flaming syllable shooters
Vomiting poems
by Drunk of Barstool
a haiku reflects
on walking into a bar
gazing in a glass
by ash
The Husband Landfill
Salvageable parts removed
Pre-owned dildo sales
by Unnoticed Poet of Undisclosed
I want some breakfast.
Twat waffles and cunt biscuits.
A pot of coffee.
by What does Pink Floyd know anyway?! of Fuck marmalade!
Light the hibachi
Soon as I gut this possum
We'll have cheeseboigers
by Paste Eater of State Park
Clear the area.
This haiku zone is declared
Prohibited verse.
by Robo-cop of National Guard of Poetry
Pussy-ass bitches!
Come get some of this you pigs.
Phuq da POlice, y'all
by The Dastardly Villain of Portland, Oregoing Going Gone
Now stand back, you cad.
You've made this young lady cry.
I shall deal with you.
by The Hero of Royal Canadian Mounties
Oh you are so VILE.
Oh you horrible man, you.
Why, oh WHY must you?
by Virgin Milkmaid of Sobbing in her Petticoats
here's to you missus
robinson, heaven holds a
place for those who spray
by benjamin's boner
Mrs. Livingston
Courtship of Eddie's Father
Your penis Is green!
by Jumper of Golden Gate Bridge
Vaseline in bulk
Now see what you made me do
Bend over, poets
by Quivering Asshole of Back door
Nasal Relations
Deviated septum jizz
Go ahead and blow
by Posh Puff of Behind binoculars (nosy)
I'll spank your monkey.
And you can choke my chicken.
Just like Darth Vader.
You have to wonder if Darth Vader ever force choked himself while masturbating. You know you'd do it too if you could use The Force.
Time for a massage.
Of course with all the extras.
I hope that she's tight.
I might bang her nose.
It's possible over here.
Covid lubricant.
by dw
Hey organ grinder
I'll show you my banana
Show me your monkey
by Jizzumberto of Italy
in this brave new world
narcotics are out of vogue
it hurts me to say
by ash
What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.
Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
by dw
Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
by Bev Ridge of LC
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See you later!
by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.
And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.
Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.
Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?
Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".
Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
by dw
If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
by Subscriber of Undisclosed
I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.
Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
by Talk about a money saver!
Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.
I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate