BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
63 Days
69621 Haikus
Balloon animals
Wrap it in sour gummy worms
Good bang for your buck
Haiku #67882, by Exhibitionists of Dollar Store
August 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET

Looking down your pants
A little too familiar
Try these googly eyes
Haiku #67881, by Câ of Make it fun
August 22, 2020 11:39 pm ET

Can I poop on you?
I'll give you fifty dollars.
I love you so much.
Haiku #67880, by Elmo visits Grouchland
August 22, 2020 9:50 pm ET

I need a fucking drink.
That last line had six syllables.
That one had eight.
And I still need a drink.
Haiku #67879, by Maybe 2 bottle of the Tussin DM of dextromethorphan dungeon master
August 22, 2020 9:14 pm ET

I smoked peanut skins
Did nothing, gave me bad breath
Complete waste of time
Haiku #67878, by At least it wasn't penis skins
August 22, 2020 8:59 pm ET

Smoking bananas.
That's one thing I've never tried.
How about you, sir?
Haiku #67877, by Anything for a buzz.
August 22, 2020 8:47 pm ET

Snorting snail slime.
Dehydrated and powdered.
Frightening visions.
Haiku #67876, by Ready yourself to be in the same mental state of Darth Whorrendous.
August 22, 2020 4:07 pm ET

All Nude Aged Meat Fest
Wonka and Walton elders
Now that's an orgy
Haiku #67875, by Cocoon of Wrinkled Junque of They took out their dentures
August 22, 2020 3:54 am ET

You are Grinch, Grinch, GRINCH !!
Flame-ass dribblers of bad worse:
You are brat-Wurstest.
Haiku #67874, by Read the books "Damned" and "Doomed" of Chuck Palahniuk. He also wrote Fight Club
August 21, 2020 5:32 pm ET

You are cringe, cringe, CRINGE !
Lame-ass scribblers of bad verse:
you are the Greatest.
Haiku #67873, by Pathetic Poets of Doomed and Damned
August 21, 2020 5:08 pm ET

the end of times soon
because all things must finish
like this brief haiku
Haiku #67872, by ash
August 21, 2020 9:30 am ET

God hates all poets.
Their creations are nearly
as wretched as His.
Haiku #67871, by
August 21, 2020 6:33 am ET

Under disco-lights
I reassess existence:
over-rated noise.
Haiku #67870, by Jacket Lapels of of Perfect Nostalgia
August 20, 2020 9:56 pm ET

Hey, why the long face?
Flaming syllable shooters
Vomiting poems
Haiku #67869, by Drunk of Barstool
August 20, 2020 1:53 pm ET

a haiku reflects
on walking into a bar
gazing in a glass
Haiku #67868, by ash
August 20, 2020 3:20 am ET

The Husband Landfill
Salvageable parts removed
Pre-owned dildo sales
Haiku #67867, by Unnoticed Poet of Undisclosed
August 19, 2020 7:29 pm ET

I want some breakfast.
Twat waffles and cunt biscuits.
A pot of coffee.
Haiku #67866, by What does Pink Floyd know anyway?! of Fuck marmalade!
August 19, 2020 4:53 pm ET

Light the hibachi
Soon as I gut this possum
We'll have cheeseboigers
Haiku #67865, by Paste Eater of State Park
August 19, 2020 4:25 pm ET

Clear the area.
This haiku zone is declared
Prohibited verse.
Haiku #67864, by Robo-cop of National Guard of Poetry
August 19, 2020 10:54 am ET

Pussy-ass bitches!
Come get some of this you pigs.
Phuq da POlice, y'all
Haiku #67863, by The Dastardly Villain of Portland, Oregoing Going Gone
August 19, 2020 10:50 am ET

Now stand back, you cad.
You've made this young lady cry.
I shall deal with you.
Haiku #67862, by The Hero of Royal Canadian Mounties
August 19, 2020 10:46 am ET

Oh you are so VILE.
Oh you horrible man, you.
Why, oh WHY must you?
Haiku #67861, by Virgin Milkmaid of Sobbing in her Petticoats
August 19, 2020 10:43 am ET

here's to you missus
robinson, heaven holds a
place for those who spray
Haiku #67860, by benjamin's boner
August 19, 2020 9:46 am ET

Mrs. Livingston
Courtship of Eddie's Father
Your penis Is green!
Haiku #67859, by Jumper of Golden Gate Bridge
August 19, 2020 8:39 am ET
Haiku #67858, by Williamtar of Cuba
August 19, 2020 7:48 am ET

Vaseline in bulk
Now see what you made me do
Bend over, poets
Haiku #67857, by Quivering Asshole of Back door
August 19, 2020 5:53 am ET

Nasal Relations
Deviated septum jizz
Go ahead and blow
Haiku #67856, by Posh Puff of Behind binoculars (nosy)
August 19, 2020 3:31 am ET

I'll spank your monkey.
And you can choke my chicken.
Just like Darth Vader.

You have to wonder if Darth Vader ever force choked himself while masturbating. You know you'd do it too if you could use The Force.

Time for a massage.
Of course with all the extras.
I hope that she's tight.

I might bang her nose.
It's possible over here.
Covid lubricant.
Haiku #67855, by dw
August 18, 2020 8:28 pm ET

Hey organ grinder
I'll show you my banana
Show me your monkey
Haiku #67854, by Jizzumberto of Italy
August 18, 2020 1:50 pm ET

in this brave new world
narcotics are out of vogue
it hurts me to say
Haiku #67853, by ash
August 18, 2020 9:41 am ET

What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.

Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
Haiku #67852, by dw
August 18, 2020 9:34 am ET

Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
Haiku #67851, by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
August 18, 2020 6:34 am ET

Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
Haiku #67850, by Bev Ridge of LC
August 17, 2020 10:30 pm ET

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Haiku #67849, by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
August 17, 2020 7:20 pm ET

It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.

And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.

Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
Haiku #67848, by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
August 17, 2020 7:05 pm ET

I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.

Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?

Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".

Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
Haiku #67847, by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
August 17, 2020 6:45 pm ET

Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
Haiku #67846, by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
August 17, 2020 6:36 pm ET

Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
Haiku #67845, by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
August 17, 2020 6:03 pm ET

Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
Haiku #67844, by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
August 17, 2020 1:13 am ET

Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
Haiku #67843, by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
August 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET

We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
Haiku #67842, by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
August 16, 2020 4:29 pm ET

Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
Haiku #67841, by dw
August 16, 2020 2:21 pm ET

If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
Haiku #67840, by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
August 16, 2020 2:18 pm ET

Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
Haiku #67839, by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
August 16, 2020 2:15 pm ET

Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
Haiku #67838, by Subscriber of Undisclosed
August 16, 2020 11:02 am ET

I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.

Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
Haiku #67837, by Talk about a money saver!
August 16, 2020 2:44 am ET

Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
Haiku #67836, by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
August 16, 2020 12:23 am ET

Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
Haiku #67835, by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
August 16, 2020 12:18 am ET

I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku #67834, by Anonymous Poet
August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET

If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku #67833, by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET