Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72693 Haikus later...

a haiku reflects
on walking into a bar
gazing in a glass
Haiku # 67868, August 20, 2020 3:20 am ET
by ash
The Husband Landfill
Salvageable parts removed
Pre-owned dildo sales
Haiku # 67867, August 19, 2020 7:29 pm ET
by Unnoticed Poet of Undisclosed
I want some breakfast.
Twat waffles and cunt biscuits.
A pot of coffee.
Haiku # 67866, August 19, 2020 4:53 pm ET
by What does Pink Floyd know anyway?! of Fuck marmalade!
Light the hibachi
Soon as I gut this possum
We'll have cheeseboigers
Haiku # 67865, August 19, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by Paste Eater of State Park
Clear the area.
This haiku zone is declared
Prohibited verse.
Haiku # 67864, August 19, 2020 10:54 am ET
by Robo-cop of National Guard of Poetry
Pussy-ass bitches!
Come get some of this you pigs.
Phuq da POlice, y'all
Haiku # 67863, August 19, 2020 10:50 am ET
by The Dastardly Villain of Portland, Oregoing Going Gone
Now stand back, you cad.
You've made this young lady cry.
I shall deal with you.
Haiku # 67862, August 19, 2020 10:46 am ET
by The Hero of Royal Canadian Mounties
Oh you are so VILE.
Oh you horrible man, you.
Why, oh WHY must you?
Haiku # 67861, August 19, 2020 10:43 am ET
by Virgin Milkmaid of Sobbing in her Petticoats
here's to you missus
robinson, heaven holds a
place for those who spray
Haiku # 67860, August 19, 2020 9:46 am ET
by benjamin's boner
Mrs. Livingston
Courtship of Eddie's Father
Your penis Is green!
Haiku # 67859, August 19, 2020 8:39 am ET
by Jumper of Golden Gate Bridge
Vaseline in bulk
Now see what you made me do
Bend over, poets
Haiku # 67857, August 19, 2020 5:53 am ET
by Quivering Asshole of Back door
Nasal Relations
Deviated septum jizz
Go ahead and blow
Haiku # 67856, August 19, 2020 3:31 am ET
by Posh Puff of Behind binoculars (nosy)
I'll spank your monkey.
And you can choke my chicken.
Just like Darth Vader.

You have to wonder if Darth Vader ever force choked himself while masturbating. You know you'd do it too if you could use The Force.

Time for a massage.
Of course with all the extras.
I hope that she's tight.

I might bang her nose.
It's possible over here.
Covid lubricant.
Haiku # 67855, August 18, 2020 8:28 pm ET
by dw
Hey organ grinder
I'll show you my banana
Show me your monkey
Haiku # 67854, August 18, 2020 1:50 pm ET
by Jizzumberto of Italy
in this brave new world
narcotics are out of vogue
it hurts me to say
Haiku # 67853, August 18, 2020 9:41 am ET
by ash
What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.

Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
Haiku # 67852, August 18, 2020 9:34 am ET
by dw
Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
Haiku # 67851, August 18, 2020 6:34 am ET
by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
Haiku # 67850, August 17, 2020 10:30 pm ET
by Bev Ridge of LC
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Haiku # 67849, August 17, 2020 7:20 pm ET
by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.

And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.

Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
Haiku # 67848, August 17, 2020 7:05 pm ET
by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.

Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?

Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".

Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
Haiku # 67847, August 17, 2020 6:45 pm ET
by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
Haiku # 67846, August 17, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
Haiku # 67845, August 17, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
Haiku # 67844, August 17, 2020 1:13 am ET
by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
Haiku # 67843, August 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET
by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
Haiku # 67842, August 16, 2020 4:29 pm ET
by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
Haiku # 67841, August 16, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by dw
If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
Haiku # 67840, August 16, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
Haiku # 67839, August 16, 2020 2:15 pm ET
by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
Haiku # 67838, August 16, 2020 11:02 am ET
by Subscriber of Undisclosed
I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.

Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
Haiku # 67837, August 16, 2020 2:44 am ET
by Talk about a money saver!
Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
Haiku # 67836, August 16, 2020 12:23 am ET
by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
Haiku # 67835, August 16, 2020 12:18 am ET
by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku # 67834, August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku # 67833, August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
Haiku # 67832, August 14, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
Haiku # 67831, August 14, 2020 10:33 am ET
by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
Haiku # 67829, August 13, 2020 6:44 pm ET
by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.

Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.

But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.

Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
Haiku # 67828, August 13, 2020 6:27 pm ET
by Trust me, I know!
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku # 67827, August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku # 67826, August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET
by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku # 67825, August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku # 67824, August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET
by scotch of it's good though
Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku # 67823, August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67822, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67821, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku # 67819, August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET
by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku # 67818, August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Flatlined Line of Lines
Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku # 67817, August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku # 67816, August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by Line of Lines
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