Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 18 Days and 76795 Haiku later...

Makes a good doorstop
Neck cradling travel pillow
Pretend pet serpent
Haiku # 67949, September 2, 2020 5:59 am ET
by Peniszon Prime of Warehouse
I miss cuntfart.
Let's all send him a psychic message.
Maybe he'll get back on.
Maybe he has tinfoil around his head.
You know, to block us out because he wants some peace and quiet.
We'll have to concentrate really really hard to break through.
Coordinate at 7:42 am EST, Thursday morning.
Send him this message:
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Haiku # 67948, September 2, 2020 5:55 am ET
by The weavil in vhs' breakfast cereal
My enormous penis
does not know how to count syllables.
What a dick!
Haiku # 67947, September 2, 2020 5:49 am ET
by But it can use an iphone of and enter things here... and there, if you know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge
We offer flat rate
We use anal weed whacker
For bush like you got
Haiku # 67946, September 1, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by That Guy of Kiosk
A good specialty !
How much for a b-hole trim?
Hate dingleberries
Haiku # 67945, September 1, 2020 5:58 pm ET
by Spazzzzzz
Now specializing
In the trimming/removal
Of your pubic hair
Haiku # 67944, September 1, 2020 5:37 pm ET
by ch ch ch chia of Kiosk
Down in the bunker
I thought it looked pretty good
This toothbrush moustache
Haiku # 67943, September 1, 2020 5:34 pm ET
by That Guy of Bunker
social distancing ?
then get the fuck outta here
i'll catch you later
Haiku # 67942, September 1, 2020 8:56 am ET
by ash
mostly there's haiku
but far too often there's not
and it's bad, haiku
Haiku # 67941, September 1, 2020 8:49 am ET
by ash
You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
Haiku # 67938, August 31, 2020 9:03 pm ET
by Ticks & Leeches
Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
Haiku # 67937, August 31, 2020 7:06 pm ET
by
That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
Haiku # 67936, August 31, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
Haiku # 67935, August 31, 2020 8:22 am ET
by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
Haiku # 67934, August 31, 2020 7:07 am ET
by
You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
Haiku # 67933, August 31, 2020 7:06 am ET
by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku # 67932, August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET
by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku # 67931, August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET
by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku # 67930, August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET
by Milo powder incindiary device.
Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku # 67929, August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by don't try it
Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku # 67928, August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET
by
being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku # 67927, August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET
by ash
If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku # 67926, August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET
by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku # 67925, August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET
by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku # 67924, August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET
by Tragedy of Dumbphones
Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku # 67923, August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET
by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku # 67922, August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku # 67921, August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET
by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
What do Greek cows say?
µ
Haiku # 67920, August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
Haiku # 67919, August 28, 2020 4:02 pm ET
by dw
You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
Haiku # 67918, August 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET
by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
Haiku # 67917, August 28, 2020 9:58 am ET
by No Exit of Existential Hell
Genealogy?!?!
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
Haiku # 67916, August 28, 2020 7:00 am ET
by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
Haiku # 67913, August 27, 2020 9:46 am ET
by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
Islam is superb.
It is the height of all truth.
Sharia is good.
Haiku # 67912, August 27, 2020 9:13 am ET
by Imam of Haiku
Play Russian roulette.
But play it against yourself.
You know, as practice.

Dirty fucking whores.
Baby killing stinky cunts.
Sucking the pig's skin.
Haiku # 67911, August 27, 2020 8:31 am ET
by of
it's a thankless job
Wiping down the craps table
Brown stains won't come out
Haiku # 67910, August 27, 2020 7:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Shitty Job
Las Vegas restroom
Porcelain one arm bandit
Just shit the jackpot
Haiku # 67909, August 27, 2020 12:44 am ET
by Relieved of Ten pounds lighter
The introduction
Hello to your little friend
The latest member
Haiku # 67908, August 26, 2020 9:58 pm ET
by Why did you spit on me of When I shook your hand ( I think)
I wish I was there.
I'd loot me a new TV.
And get boob implants.
Haiku # 67907, August 26, 2020 9:15 pm ET
by This poem sponsored by the healtcare act. of I am not there.
Satellite pancakes.
Crispy little prostitutes.
Dip them in honey!
Haiku # 67906, August 26, 2020 7:04 pm ET
by Bees understand. of Monosacharide breakfast.
My balls have a lump.
But you don't need to worry.
It's on the surface.

Oddly moves about.
One time it looked like a face.
Much like Donald Trump.

But it wasn't orange.
Until I gave it Cheetoes.
Now looks just like him.

Hail to the cheif.
Bow down before my nut sack.
America's King!
Haiku # 67905, August 26, 2020 5:39 pm ET
by New World Odor of Not as smelly as your socks.
Here's my new penis.
It might be here for some time.
Say hello to it.
Haiku # 67904, August 26, 2020 4:39 pm ET
by Noticer's Grandmother of Graceland, TN
I want corona.
The sooner we all get it,
the sooner it's done!
Haiku # 67903, August 26, 2020 3:23 am ET
by Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner!
They're small and stinky.
Sea horses don't make much cum.
You don't believe me?

Then you have never
been to the octopus's
garden by the sea.

Sea horses like me.
They like the stench of my feet.
And also their size.

Who could like YOUR feet?
I mean, just look at your feet!
Cloven hooved piggy.
Haiku # 67902, August 26, 2020 2:42 am ET
by Was that sea horses or sea whores? of dw
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku # 67901, August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Close by
C'mon Darth get real
I know how small your feet are
How big your mouth is
Haiku # 67900, August 25, 2020 4:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Close by
It would probably
take millions of sea horses'
cum to fill a shoe.

I know because I've
sucked off many sea horses.
I needed the cash.
Haiku # 67899, August 25, 2020 2:07 pm ET
by Addicted to sea weed.
Hamster testicles.
That's what corona looks like.
Don't ask how I know.
Haiku # 67898, August 25, 2020 12:13 am ET
by RodentPorn.com of It's cheesy.
The Great Pyramid
And wouldn't it be my luck
Stepped in camel dung
Haiku # 67897, August 24, 2020 9:21 pm ET
by Chillaxtopher Walken of Under old willow
The ejaculate
of a thousand seahorses
May it fill your shoe
Haiku # 67896, August 24, 2020 7:59 pm ET
by Cock Justblow of At sea
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