BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
312 Days
and
68094 Haikus
later...
That female train Rebecca in Thomas the Train is fucking sexy.
I'd pull a train on her.
Haiku #67962, by Know what I mean?
September 3, 2020 7:28 pm ET

Those are my footsteps
Actually those are bootprints
I walked on your face
Haiku #67961, by GOD of AROUNDETH
September 3, 2020 7:19 pm ET

Dear God, get me through this shitty day, and if not, then thanks for nothing (as I expect b/c that's usually the way it is).
Haiku #67960, by What a half-assed prayer is that? of Ha ha ha.
September 3, 2020 6:23 pm ET

Alliteration
Almost like cunnilingus
without the fish taste
Haiku #67959, by James Caan of Under old willow
September 3, 2020 7:17 am ET

Biological barricades bounce beautifully but bats bore bumble bees.
Haiku #67958, by
September 3, 2020 5:24 am ET

French fries booger.
You might think that's an attempt at humor, but such a profound statement has never been made.
Garbage truck backhoe school bus.
Haiku #67957, by
September 3, 2020 4:20 am ET

Bigfoot, we need you
Bring sense to these troubled time's
Give us beef jerky
Haiku #67956, by Anonymous Poet
September 3, 2020 12:17 am ET

That's when you jumped out
The second story window
Or did I push you?
Haiku #67955, by Forgetful of Lawn
September 2, 2020 11:31 pm ET

I'm not a robot
But my penis is moving
Like a jackhammer
Haiku #67954, by The Unexplained of Hard to say where
September 2, 2020 12:08 pm ET

Velour penis sheath
Relax and put your feet up
Enjoy the high life
Haiku #67953, by Dee Luxx of Haiku Central
September 2, 2020 12:04 pm ET

Experience this:
Life reduced to syllables.
True distillation.
Haiku #67952, by Distillation of Desolation
September 2, 2020 9:39 am ET

You wasted your wish
And it's too late to change it
You wasted your wish
Haiku #67951, by Grimace of Undisclosed
September 2, 2020 9:25 am ET

Received transmission
Standing by the dishwasher
I got the signal
Haiku #67950, by Starkitten of Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
September 2, 2020 6:03 am ET

Makes a good doorstop
Neck cradling travel pillow
Pretend pet serpent
Haiku #67949, by Peniszon Prime of Warehouse
September 2, 2020 5:59 am ET

I miss cuntfart.
Let's all send him a psychic message.
Maybe he'll get back on.
Maybe he has tinfoil around his head.
You know, to block us out because he wants some peace and quiet.
We'll have to concentrate really really hard to break through.
Coordinate at 7:42 am EST, Thursday morning.
Send him this message:
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Haiku #67948, by The weavil in vhs' breakfast cereal
September 2, 2020 5:55 am ET

My enormous penis
does not know how to count syllables.
What a dick!
Haiku #67947, by But it can use an iphone of and enter things here... and there, if you know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge
September 2, 2020 5:49 am ET

We offer flat rate
We use anal weed whacker
For bush like you got
Haiku #67946, by That Guy of Kiosk
September 1, 2020 9:46 pm ET

A good specialty !
How much for a b-hole trim?
Hate dingleberries
Haiku #67945, by Spazzzzzz
September 1, 2020 5:58 pm ET

Now specializing
In the trimming/removal
Of your pubic hair
Haiku #67944, by ch ch ch chia of Kiosk
September 1, 2020 5:37 pm ET

Down in the bunker
I thought it looked pretty good
This toothbrush moustache
Haiku #67943, by That Guy of Bunker
September 1, 2020 5:34 pm ET

social distancing ?
then get the fuck outta here
i'll catch you later
Haiku #67942, by ash
September 1, 2020 8:56 am ET

mostly there's haiku
but far too often there's not
and it's bad, haiku
Haiku #67941, by ash
September 1, 2020 8:49 am ET

I saw Hitler in my mashed potatoes.
I ate it anyway.
It wasn't bad, but had a slightly burnt flavor to it that I could have done without. Reminded me of Starbucks coffee.
Haiku #67940, by Anonymous Poet
September 1, 2020 6:20 am ET

Your side is stupid.
Seeing Hitler everywhere...
It really gets old.
Haiku #67939, by Einsatzgruppen of Schutzstaffel
August 31, 2020 9:33 pm ET

You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
Haiku #67938, by Ticks & Leeches
August 31, 2020 9:03 pm ET

Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
Haiku #67937, by
August 31, 2020 7:06 pm ET

That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
Haiku #67936, by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
August 31, 2020 3:09 pm ET

What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
Haiku #67935, by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
August 31, 2020 8:22 am ET

I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
Haiku #67934, by
August 31, 2020 7:07 am ET

You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
Haiku #67933, by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
August 31, 2020 7:06 am ET

She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
Haiku #67932, by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
August 31, 2020 7:04 am ET

So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
Haiku #67931, by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
August 31, 2020 6:58 am ET

What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
Haiku #67930, by Milo powder incindiary device.
August 30, 2020 9:40 pm ET

Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
Haiku #67929, by don't try it
August 30, 2020 9:37 pm ET

Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
Haiku #67928, by
August 30, 2020 9:38 am ET

being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
Haiku #67927, by ash
August 30, 2020 9:22 am ET

If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!

I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.

Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.

Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
Haiku #67926, by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
August 30, 2020 3:25 am ET

Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
Haiku #67925, by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
August 30, 2020 3:14 am ET

Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
Haiku #67924, by Tragedy of Dumbphones
August 29, 2020 12:47 pm ET

Not sure about you
But when Iâ
Haiku #67923, by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
August 28, 2020 11:17 pm ET

Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
Haiku #67922, by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
August 28, 2020 4:28 pm ET

Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
Haiku #67921, by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
August 28, 2020 4:25 pm ET

What do Greek cows say?
µ
Haiku #67920, by Anonymous Poet
August 28, 2020 4:05 pm ET

her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
Haiku #67919, by dw
August 28, 2020 4:02 pm ET

You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
Haiku #67918, by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
August 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET

American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
Haiku #67917, by No Exit of Existential Hell
August 28, 2020 9:58 am ET

Genealogy?!?!
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
Haiku #67916, by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
August 28, 2020 7:00 am ET

ТекÑ
Haiku #67915, by BryanLog of Togo
August 28, 2020 5:31 am ET

Best group for meet fun people

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.genealogy.benelux/TSOq3lK8qbg
https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.culture.esperanto/To-pqyFwqWA
Haiku #67914, by Lovely Roni Taylor of LA
August 28, 2020 3:10 am ET

I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
Haiku #67913, by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
August 27, 2020 9:46 am ET