I visited queef.com.
Strangely satisfying to the ear drums.
Next time I will download to play at work.
by Thomas shunts trucks. of That almost sounds nasty.
That female train Rebecca in Thomas the Train is fucking sexy.
I'd pull a train on her.
by Know what I mean?
Those are my footsteps
Actually those are bootprints
I walked on your face
by GOD of AROUNDETH
Dear God, get me through this shitty day, and if not, then thanks for nothing (as I expect b/c that's usually the way it is).
by What a half-assed prayer is that? of Ha ha ha.
Alliteration
Almost like cunnilingus
without the fish taste
by James Caan of Under old willow
Biological barricades bounce beautifully but bats bore bumble bees.
by
French fries booger.
You might think that's an attempt at humor, but such a profound statement has never been made.
Garbage truck backhoe school bus.
by
Bigfoot, we need you
Bring sense to these troubled time's
Give us beef jerky
by Anonymous Poet
That's when you jumped out
The second story window
Or did I push you?
by Forgetful of Lawn
I'm not a robot
But my penis is moving
Like a jackhammer
by The Unexplained of Hard to say where
Velour penis sheath
Relax and put your feet up
Enjoy the high life
by Dee Luxx of Haiku Central
Experience this:
Life reduced to syllables.
True distillation.
by Distillation of Desolation
You wasted your wish
And it's too late to change it
You wasted your wish
by Grimace of Undisclosed
Received transmission
Standing by the dishwasher
I got the signal
by Starkitten of Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Makes a good doorstop
Neck cradling travel pillow
Pretend pet serpent
by Peniszon Prime of Warehouse
I miss cuntfart.
Let's all send him a psychic message.
Maybe he'll get back on.
Maybe he has tinfoil around his head.
You know, to block us out because he wants some peace and quiet.
We'll have to concentrate really really hard to break through.
Coordinate at 7:42 am EST, Thursday morning.
Send him this message:
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
Cuntfart cuntfart cunt.
by The weavil in vhs' breakfast cereal
My enormous penis
does not know how to count syllables.
What a dick!
by But it can use an iphone of and enter things here... and there, if you know what I mean. wink wink nudge nudge
We offer flat rate
We use anal weed whacker
For bush like you got
by That Guy of Kiosk
A good specialty !
How much for a b-hole trim?
Hate dingleberries
by Spazzzzzz
Now specializing
In the trimming/removal
Of your pubic hair
by ch ch ch chia of Kiosk
Down in the bunker
I thought it looked pretty good
This toothbrush moustache
by That Guy of Bunker
social distancing ?
then get the fuck outta here
i'll catch you later
by ash
mostly there's haiku
but far too often there's not
and it's bad, haiku
by ash
You're a parasite.
You will die by your own hate.
Sucking rancid blood.
by Ticks & Leeches
Heil Shitler!
The Turd Reich rises!
(Much like a floater.)
by
That guy who shot them
(the Antifa attackers)
Is a real hero.
by Hate Them of Perfect Hatred
What can I say to you to brighten your dismal day?
by A non e-mouse poet of I prefer a mouse with a usb wire.
I find your lack of haiku disturbing.
by
You should watch the last season of Star Wars The Clone Wars cartoon series. Seriously.
by Darth... something. of I forgot what I was calling myself
She told me to put mozzarella on my phone and I did, only later to find out she meant Mozilla, but her Mozilla Firefox corrected it and so now I have a phone sandwich and it seems to work better this way.
by Irony because took too many multivitamins... too much iron. Irony. of Budda-boom budda-bing Buddha sing
So I'm starting a health food kick of nothing but McDonald burgers, fries, and shake, with the occasional soft serve ice cream and pie because I don't want to get fat. I am also going to feed one homeless child the same things that I eat every day while his friends look on in envy and might possibly kill him in his sleep on the sidewalk. Is that cruel? Should I let him starve? Oh, the humanity!
by Happy Meals are not a mix of local meth varieties available at the police cheif's house. Political corruption erruption.
What's the purpose of "breafast"?
Why is toast, cereal, and bacon breakfasty and why are hamburgers lunchy? What are you doing here? What do you hope to fulfill?
by Milo powder incindiary device.
Do you think God is a single entity or are we all part of God and the Divine Brain? Do we have free will and is the matrix of probabilities of outcomes form the neural processes of the Divine Brain of God? What's happening on the opposite side of the universe? With a super telescope can you see the back of your head? Are there any animals other than humans that segregate their daily meals?
by don't try it
Pete and re-pete were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off so who was left?
by
being itchy sucks
there is no joy in scratching
just repetition
by ash
If I could go back
in time, I'd watch T-rex fuck.
Can you imagine?!
I would die laughing.
Or be an after-sex snack.
Then be dino poo.
Then after much time
I'd be fuel in your gas tank.
Distilled Whorrendous.
Deadly pollution.
I would fill the atmosphere.
Breathe deep bad haiku.
by the way, with each breath you breathe in at least one molecule of Hitler's farts.
Which do you prefer,
twat waffles or cunt biscuits?
I cannot decide.
by Breakfast aficionado of With a side of nipples.
Mozilla messed up.
Phone browsing is now much worse.
So I switched to Brave.
by Tragedy of Dumbphones
Not sure about you
But when Iâ
by Pubic Tornado of City Limits
Baby killing whores.
Philippines Catholic Church.
Nuns eat fetuses.
by All for that American Dollar of And a new car.
Legume multitude.
Fartitude rude attitude.
Know what I mean, dude?
by The Musical Fruit! of And I don't mean Boy George.
What do Greek cows say?
µ
by Anonymous Poet
her flapping cunt lips
lifted her right off the ground
much like dragon wings
by dw
You tried to call the
genealogy hot line?
Uncle-dad, press four.
by Hillbillies w/ Pencils of Tennessee
American life:
a phone call on endless hold.
Menu options changed.
by No Exit of Existential Hell
Genealogy?!?!
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!
Bleach enema fun!
by How many Tennesee white trash monkeys are you related to? of Oh boy!
I'm tempted to join.
Christianity has flipped.
Bigotry and sin.
by Catholic whores aborting babies. of Scamming filthy sluts.
Islam is superb.
It is the height of all truth.
Sharia is good.
by Imam of Haiku
Play Russian roulette.
But play it against yourself.
You know, as practice.
Dirty fucking whores.
Baby killing stinky cunts.
Sucking the pig's skin.
by of
it's a thankless job
Wiping down the craps table
Brown stains won't come out
by Anonymous Poet of Shitty Job