Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Do you like it when
someone plays with your testes?
Does nothing for me.
Haiku # 65882, September 10, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by Shut up and suck it!
How can you tell if
you're friend's homosexual?
His dick tastes like shit!
Haiku # 65881, September 10, 2019 10:09 pm ET
by Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I don't understand.
What aspect of anal sex
appeals to you.
Haiku # 65880, September 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET
by Stuck up, closed-minded straight man preaching The Word of Jesus Christ and The Gospel from God!
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I feel you watching me
Over there
Come to me
If you care
Don't sit and stare
It's just not fair
Make your move
If you dare
What, what
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
It's okay
To have a little fight
Don't you worry
I won't bite
(Not that hard)
If you want it
I'll give you power
Just be gentle
I'm delicate like a flower
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
What what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
Haiku # 65879, September 10, 2019 9:34 pm ET
by Samwell & Butters of In the butt! Where else would you put it, silly buns?!
Did you come in me?
Yes, but it's okay; I'm clean.
Said the gay boy toy.
Haiku # 65878, September 10, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Noticer of the Glaringly Obvious of Behind your backside pumping away
Robert Smith's goth taint
How did we overlook it?
It's the 8th wonder
Haiku # 65877, September 10, 2019 8:46 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
This site is worst site
Worst site in all of China
and also Hong Kong
Haiku # 65876, September 10, 2019 12:24 pm ET
by No Tickee No Laundry of Opium Den
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
Threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?
You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me
You soft and only
You lost and lonely
You just like heaven
Haiku # 65875, September 10, 2019 10:54 am ET
by evil bastard of Sing it!
I don't think you can
Find better poems online
This site has it all
Haiku # 65874, September 10, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.
Haiku # 65873, September 9, 2019 7:45 pm ET
by At the YMCA... sing it! of Ha, now you'll have that tune in your head all day.
What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway
Haiku # 65872, September 9, 2019 5:11 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Why do we do this?
It's so counterproductive.
Tell me that I'm wrong.
Haiku # 65871, September 9, 2019 5:05 am ET
by
ATTENTION LADIES
TODAY ONLY! ONE FREE HUG
WITH EVERY BLOW JOB!
Haiku # 65870, September 9, 2019 4:47 am ET
by Proof of Purchase of Required
All poets should die.
Dye their hair bright pink and orange.
Get drunk and pass out.

Stand at a corner.
Pass out flowers to strangers.
Then they should kill them
Haiku # 65869, September 9, 2019 4:46 am ET
by selves.
Strawberry dink spray.
You do not smell like a man.
You smell like some jam.

Don't cum on my toast.
I like jelly without seeds.
Forskin vacuum seal.
Haiku # 65868, September 9, 2019 4:38 am ET
by
Penis Odor Spray
Do you have a stinky dink?
Pick some up today!
Haiku # 65867, September 9, 2019 3:37 am ET
by Advertisement of Billboard
Antibiotics.
Preemptive STD drugs.
Viagra and meth.

Sometimes LSD.
But that's not easy to find
at "The Earth's Asshole".

Mountains of mushrooms.
Occasionally some pot.
Multivitamins.

Sometimes I take the
local witch doctor mixture.
Mountain tribe madman.
Haiku # 65866, September 9, 2019 1:28 am ET
by I don't need the Viagra, but it makes the meth more intense.
CUUUUUUUUUUUNT!
Haiku # 65865, September 9, 2019 12:40 am ET
by
Live in the moment
Steal garden gnomes from Kmart
Fill them with your spew
Haiku # 65864, September 8, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Life Coach of Haiku Central
we all will die, how
when, why, what and who are up
to each passing flesh
Haiku # 65863, September 8, 2019 10:23 pm ET
by vhs of so fuck off
What medication
And how many different pills
Does Darth take? Let's guess.
Haiku # 65862, September 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET
by Stench of Figpucker Crosses Oceans
Of all enemas
Chef Boyardee loved the MOST
Stuffed Ravioli
Haiku # 65861, September 8, 2019 9:45 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Boot
Of all enemies
The Ultra Cuck hated one
Most... Reality
Haiku # 65860, September 8, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Morgan Freeman of Narrating Ultra Cuck Movie Franchise
No need for sidekick
All are inferior... still
Beating off to porn
Haiku # 65859, September 8, 2019 9:02 pm ET
by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Roof, gazing in contempt at all you plebs
I'm saving the world
Pick up litter... to relax:
Beating off to porn
Haiku # 65858, September 8, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Ultra Cuck of focusing on the garbage outside, not inside
The best at being
Very worst superhero
Beating off to porn
Haiku # 65857, September 8, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
Wait, God isn't real
And I guess neither is "bad"
*shrugs* Beating off to porn
Haiku # 65856, September 8, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
Guns are really bad
God is really really bad
Beating off to porn
Haiku # 65855, September 8, 2019 8:45 pm ET
by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
Someone's fee-fees got hurt
The gamma male must lash out
You, The Ultra Cuck
Haiku # 65854, September 8, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ripe figs that pucker
Like hemorrhoids of a trucker
Save those ones for me
Haiku # 65853, September 8, 2019 7:53 pm ET
by Fignacious D of Newton, MA
I remember that
The handlebars on the bike
Smelled like E.T.'s bum
Haiku # 65852, September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Nationalism.
Homosexuality.
Simultaneous.

A flag stuck in dirt.
A tree that sprouts dead bodies.
Oozing money sap.
Haiku # 65851, September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Ozzy Osbourne Oozing Oodles of Nude Noodles.
Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.

Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.

Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.

But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.
Haiku # 65850, September 8, 2019 6:53 pm ET
by And no fucking helmet!
Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy
Haiku # 65848, September 8, 2019 6:07 pm ET
by Seriously Kidding of Lighten Up You Faggot
They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg
Haiku # 65847, September 8, 2019 4:07 pm ET
by Wilma of Bedrock
Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku
Haiku # 65846, September 8, 2019 3:59 pm ET
by Starkitten of PNW
Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism
Haiku # 65845, September 8, 2019 12:37 pm ET
by Smelly Kelli Ripper of Undisclosed
I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too
Hey, How ya doin'?
Haiku # 65844, September 8, 2019 12:28 pm ET
by Joey of Friends apartment
That bike was stolen
The night I lost my hymen
It was cherry red
Haiku # 65843, September 8, 2019 12:25 pm ET
by The Hymen of And the bike
Those "friends" are called lice.
Better spray your pillow case.
You nasty hippie.
Haiku # 65842, September 8, 2019 12:09 pm ET
by
Use your bicycle.
That old rusty Schwinn ten-speed.
My balls on the curb.
Haiku # 65841, September 8, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by
They run up and down
My pillowcase all night long
Tiny dinosaur friends
Haiku # 65840, September 8, 2019 4:13 am ET
by Now I want to live of Pillowcase
Farmer gathers eggs
Places them in a basket
Small dinosaurs hatch
Haiku # 65839, September 8, 2019 4:11 am ET
by I like that of World where I wasn't to live
If I had a car
If you wanted me to. I'd
Run over your balls
Haiku # 65838, September 8, 2019 3:55 am ET
by Someone you know of Who can't drive
I thought I wrote that
That's how much I understand
Don't give up yet, friend
Haiku # 65837, September 8, 2019 3:38 am ET
by Someone you know of Rock bottom
You don't understand
the situation at hand.
All joy has been lost.
Haiku # 65836, September 8, 2019 3:27 am ET
by
I so want to die.
It would be much easier
if I had a gun.
Haiku # 65835, September 8, 2019 3:23 am ET
by
Poo fart now change bun.
Queers blow semen in hole rims.
Dingleberry turds.
Haiku # 65834, September 8, 2019 3:16 am ET
by
You are a strange one.
There's no meaning in poems.
Arbitrary words.
Haiku # 65833, September 8, 2019 3:11 am ET
by
Which does more damage,
LSD or head trauma?
Why not try them both!

Munch the whole damn sheet.
Jump over speeding sports cars.
Because God said to.

Simultaneous
Happy party fun good time
Neural necrosis.

Or something like that.
Want to buy a used chicken?
Delicious fresh eggs.
Haiku # 65832, September 8, 2019 3:08 am ET
by
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