BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
310 Days
and
65990 Haikus
later...
I so want to die.
It would be much easier
if I had a gun.
Haiku #65835, by
September 8, 2019 3:23 am ET

Poo fart now change bun.
Queers blow semen in hole rims.
Dingleberry turds.
Haiku #65834, by
September 8, 2019 3:16 am ET

You are a strange one.
There's no meaning in poems.
Arbitrary words.
Haiku #65833, by
September 8, 2019 3:11 am ET

Which does more damage,
LSD or head trauma?
Why not try them both!

Munch the whole damn sheet.
Jump over speeding sports cars.
Because God said to.

Simultaneous
Happy party fun good time
Neural necrosis.

Or something like that.
Want to buy a used chicken?
Delicious fresh eggs.
Haiku #65832, by
September 8, 2019 3:08 am ET

Sometimes my balls hurt.
Is it some kind of disease?
Should I not hit them?
Haiku #65831, by
September 8, 2019 3:00 am ET

What if head hunters
caught a Jap bagel-head girl?
Eat it or shrink it?
Haiku #65830, by
September 8, 2019 2:58 am ET

Fukushima shine
Let's make use of your forehead
Put on this lampshade
Haiku #65829, by I got a free bagel of With this Japanese lamp
September 8, 2019 12:22 am ET

Seeing double now
Is that just you over there
Or some conjoined twins?
Haiku #65828, by Drunk of Barstool
September 8, 2019 12:14 am ET

Twenty six teeth left
In the head that God gave me
He kicked out the rest
Haiku #65827, by Ouch of That smarts
September 8, 2019 12:10 am ET

The vast difference
between the vas deferens
and vast difference

is in the spelling.
Or, in your case, the smelling.
Syphilis does that.

Starvin' Marvin's head
is a penis cross section.
You should check it out.
Haiku #65826, by
September 7, 2019 11:02 pm ET

The rode less traveled
Was where they tossed the dildo
But I still found it
Haiku #65825, by Traveler of Road (less traveled)
September 7, 2019 10:56 pm ET

The vas deferens
Had other plans for poor Jim
And there you have it
Haiku #65824, by Biology of Class
September 7, 2019 10:43 pm ET

He always wanted
To pee inside a woman
That's what he told me
Haiku #65823, by Person he told of Within earshot
September 7, 2019 10:40 pm ET

French soggy biscuit.
Where am I going with this?
Weasel vagina.
Haiku #65822, by
September 7, 2019 7:53 pm ET

teary eyed, I cry
sorrow so immense, I die
My Minecraft cat died
Haiku #65821, by Line of lines
September 7, 2019 10:35 am ET

I thought that croissant
had a funny taste to it.
Funny like a clown.
Haiku #65820, by
September 7, 2019 4:54 am ET

The only time I ever fucked a croissant was in France.
Haiku #65819, by Pierre of France
September 7, 2019 2:20 am ET

Explain the bulge, please
Do scarecrows get erections?
Is it a corn cob?
Haiku #65818, by Outstanding of Field
September 7, 2019 1:41 am ET

Jungian approach
To psychoanalysis:
"You motherfucker"
Haiku #65817, by Anomalous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:57 am ET

Got a resource here
Thirteen inch trouser python
See what you can do
Haiku #65816, by Walkin Funny of Hard to say where
September 7, 2019 12:57 am ET

I scream then you scream
But there's no goddamn ice cream
Why are we screaming?
Haiku #65815, by Witness of 2020 Presidential Debate
September 7, 2019 12:54 am ET

Psychoanalized
Just why do you bend the spoons?
Urinalysis
Haiku #65814, by Frigmund Roid of Couch
September 7, 2019 12:54 am ET

Let's debate about
Distribution / resources
Shouting match ensues
Haiku #65813, by Capitalism vs Communism of Giant Doooosh vs Turd Sandwich
September 7, 2019 12:52 am ET

Psychically bends spoons
To shove up your fucking ass
Uri Geller's here
Haiku #65812, by Judaism vs. Communism of Oy Vey Who Will Win?
September 7, 2019 12:49 am ET

Tump stable genius!
Compared to Bolshe Bernie's
Mad Communist crew

Stupid Commies all
New Democrat red Chitbirds
Shit on our country

Green new deal con job
No more cars, air planes and boats
Except for themselves.

No more hamburger!
Tofu for all Comrades!
Except for themselves.

No more Automats!
Turn in your Kalashnikove's!
But we will keep ours.

Better idea Veks!
Cram them in your red grain chutes!
And we will keep ours!
Haiku #65811, by Baron Urgern Von Stern Berg of Mongolia
September 7, 2019 12:44 am ET

*they're not poets.
fucking grammar
Haiku #65810, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:28 am ET

Five-year-olds get high
behind the kindergarten.
Teacher can't find stash.
Haiku #65809, by Major bummer.
September 7, 2019 12:27 am ET

Three dead mosquitoes.
Well, at least their not poets.
But still blood-suckers.
Haiku #65808, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:25 am ET

Talented asshole.
Gay man does Kegel routine.
Shows bitches what's up.
Haiku #65807, by is that you, cuntfart?
September 7, 2019 12:23 am ET

Brazilian waxing.
Just the taint and balls today.
Maybe the nose hairs.
Haiku #65806, by df
September 7, 2019 12:18 am ET

I just love pigeons
I bit off a man's ear once
It wasn't Van Gogh
Haiku #65805, by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
September 6, 2019 11:06 pm ET

OK, Hunan pork.
You want small or you want large?
For here or to go?
Haiku #65804, by Meat Cleaver Lady's Husband of Asia Pearl Kitchen
September 6, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Tulsi get Bernied
Hillary get off the hook
Things get more crazy
Haiku #65803, by Old Lady with Meat Cleaver of Chinatown
September 6, 2019 9:58 pm ET

"Dogs piss on trees."

- Neil deGrasse Tyson
Haiku #65802, by Anonymous Poet
September 6, 2019 6:51 pm ET

Speaking of hand jobs
I'd much rather watch paint dry
Or watch the grass grow
Haiku #65801, by Ann Noyed of Behind binoculars
September 6, 2019 3:57 pm ET

Yoga mat poop stain
Downward facing dog poop pose
Full lotus pantsload
Haiku #65800, by Yogi of Smelly
September 6, 2019 1:47 pm ET

I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time

She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now- I regret.

When you get a chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
Haiku #65799, by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
September 6, 2019 5:52 am ET

I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time

She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now I regret.

When you get chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
Haiku #65798, by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
September 6, 2019 5:45 am ET

Slow death by handjob.
Chiseled right on my tombstone.
I can live with that.
Haiku #65797, by df
September 6, 2019 1:37 am ET

Just massage yourself
Masturbation millionaire
Invest in yourself
Haiku #65796, by Good advices from Starkitten of PNW
September 6, 2019 1:20 am ET

Among mammals, Rafinesque's big-eared bat has the largest testes relative to body size, since they account for over 8 percent of the bat's total body mass. "The North Pacific right whale has the largest testes ever recorded," Lupold said, explaining that each weighs over 1,102 pounds.
Haiku #65795, by So how the hell does one become an expert on whale testes?! of Taste testing testes?
September 6, 2019 1:19 am ET

Stay out of those shops
You'll get syphilis and die
Unhappy ending
Haiku #65794, by Warning of Behind binoculars
September 6, 2019 1:17 am ET

Coffee shop music.
It has got to be the worst.
Fucking hipster shit.
Haiku #65793, by Headphones time!
September 6, 2019 1:12 am ET

Special massage price.
One thousand pesos; Twenty bucks.
The tip's included.
Haiku #65792, by Thank you, sir. Come again! of And they love my tip!
September 6, 2019 1:11 am ET

Hammock hung from trees
Depressed corpse nestled inside
The hoot of an owl
Haiku #65791, by Trudging along of Path to Nowhere
September 6, 2019 12:13 am ET

Figpucker x-Ray
Head full of dirty poems
Dink in ICU
Haiku #65790, by I see you of Behind binoculars
September 5, 2019 11:36 pm ET

pink champagne on ice
the warm smell of coalitas
dark desert highway
Haiku #65789, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Pina hospital girl
legs up to her fine tight butt
wants picture with me

Was a little strange
I want something from her too
Please don't tell my wife
Haiku #65788, by Walt Tripp of Hawgs back woods
September 5, 2019 9:33 pm ET

The Brady Bunch House
Alice on her hands and knees
Meat Delivery
Haiku #65787, by Sam the Butcher of Cloud 9
September 5, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Two hours w/o porn?
My God, how will you jack off?
Try thinking of me.
Haiku #65786, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2019 3:21 pm ET