BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
310 Days
and
65990 Haikus
later...
Five-year-olds get high
behind the kindergarten.
Teacher can't find stash.
Haiku #65809, by Major bummer.
September 7, 2019 12:27 am ET

Three dead mosquitoes.
Well, at least their not poets.
But still blood-suckers.
Haiku #65808, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:25 am ET

Talented asshole.
Gay man does Kegel routine.
Shows bitches what's up.
Haiku #65807, by is that you, cuntfart?
September 7, 2019 12:23 am ET

Brazilian waxing.
Just the taint and balls today.
Maybe the nose hairs.
Haiku #65806, by df
September 7, 2019 12:18 am ET

I just love pigeons
I bit off a man's ear once
It wasn't Van Gogh
Haiku #65805, by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
September 6, 2019 11:06 pm ET

OK, Hunan pork.
You want small or you want large?
For here or to go?
Haiku #65804, by Meat Cleaver Lady's Husband of Asia Pearl Kitchen
September 6, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Tulsi get Bernied
Hillary get off the hook
Things get more crazy
Haiku #65803, by Old Lady with Meat Cleaver of Chinatown
September 6, 2019 9:58 pm ET

"Dogs piss on trees."

- Neil deGrasse Tyson
Haiku #65802, by Anonymous Poet
September 6, 2019 6:51 pm ET

Speaking of hand jobs
I'd much rather watch paint dry
Or watch the grass grow
Haiku #65801, by Ann Noyed of Behind binoculars
September 6, 2019 3:57 pm ET

Yoga mat poop stain
Downward facing dog poop pose
Full lotus pantsload
Haiku #65800, by Yogi of Smelly
September 6, 2019 1:47 pm ET

I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time

She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now- I regret.

When you get a chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
Haiku #65799, by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
September 6, 2019 5:52 am ET

I did not go see
That Shan state girl with big boobs
For a long long time

She wanted to scroog
But I let her escape pounding
And now I regret.

When you get chance
Give them a good rogering
And make them happy
Haiku #65798, by Druk Pa Kunley of Black Yak Mountain
September 6, 2019 5:45 am ET

Slow death by handjob.
Chiseled right on my tombstone.
I can live with that.
Haiku #65797, by df
September 6, 2019 1:37 am ET

Just massage yourself
Masturbation millionaire
Invest in yourself
Haiku #65796, by Good advices from Starkitten of PNW
September 6, 2019 1:20 am ET

Among mammals, Rafinesque's big-eared bat has the largest testes relative to body size, since they account for over 8 percent of the bat's total body mass. "The North Pacific right whale has the largest testes ever recorded," Lupold said, explaining that each weighs over 1,102 pounds.
Haiku #65795, by So how the hell does one become an expert on whale testes?! of Taste testing testes?
September 6, 2019 1:19 am ET

Stay out of those shops
You'll get syphilis and die
Unhappy ending
Haiku #65794, by Warning of Behind binoculars
September 6, 2019 1:17 am ET

Coffee shop music.
It has got to be the worst.
Fucking hipster shit.
Haiku #65793, by Headphones time!
September 6, 2019 1:12 am ET

Special massage price.
One thousand pesos; Twenty bucks.
The tip's included.
Haiku #65792, by Thank you, sir. Come again! of And they love my tip!
September 6, 2019 1:11 am ET

Hammock hung from trees
Depressed corpse nestled inside
The hoot of an owl
Haiku #65791, by Trudging along of Path to Nowhere
September 6, 2019 12:13 am ET

Figpucker x-Ray
Head full of dirty poems
Dink in ICU
Haiku #65790, by I see you of Behind binoculars
September 5, 2019 11:36 pm ET

pink champagne on ice
the warm smell of coalitas
dark desert highway
Haiku #65789, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Pina hospital girl
legs up to her fine tight butt
wants picture with me

Was a little strange
I want something from her too
Please don't tell my wife
Haiku #65788, by Walt Tripp of Hawgs back woods
September 5, 2019 9:33 pm ET

The Brady Bunch House
Alice on her hands and knees
Meat Delivery
Haiku #65787, by Sam the Butcher of Cloud 9
September 5, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Two hours w/o porn?
My God, how will you jack off?
Try thinking of me.
Haiku #65786, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2019 3:21 pm ET

Octopus ink, no,
it does not shoot out the dink.
It comes from its glands.
Haiku #65785, by Anonymous Poet
September 5, 2019 3:18 pm ET

Electricity out
Interruption of service
For the next two hours
Haiku #65784, by Powerless of Dark
September 5, 2019 1:11 pm ET

Does octopus ink
Shoot from the octopus dink?
Tell me what you think
Haiku #65783, by Sharpie of Permanent
September 5, 2019 11:49 am ET

One of the arms of
the male octopus is his
dink, and edible!
Haiku #65782, by Asians eat anything. of I prefer squid over octopus though.
September 5, 2019 3:51 am ET

Bring your microscope.
Next show at seven thirty.
You pay my bus fare.
Haiku #65781, by df
September 5, 2019 12:38 am ET

I hate sudoku.
Almost as bad as haiku.
Now I have to poo.
Haiku #65780, by
September 5, 2019 12:36 am ET

The Second Coming
Of Mister Jeffrey Epstein
Shall renew the earth!
Haiku #65779, by Jesus is Just Allright with Him
September 4, 2019 8:50 pm ET

Vote Tulsi Gabbard!
Vote Epstein Twenty-twenty!
Vote suck-ass Haiku !
Haiku #65778, by Power of the Dope
September 4, 2019 8:45 pm ET

Indelible ink
That old cephalopod porn
Inedible dink
Haiku #65777, by Old reliable
September 4, 2019 6:18 pm ET

Now you're talking Darth.
That WOULD be a little show
(Checking bus schedule )
Haiku #65776, by Ben E. Fitz of Public transportation
September 4, 2019 6:16 pm ET

Sprayed lighter fluid
up my urethra to be
Captain Flamethrower.

It fucking well works!
Wasted seven cockroaches
with my deadly cock.
Haiku #65775, by Say, why aren't there cuntroaches?
September 4, 2019 6:13 pm ET

Wow! What a small world.
Did you like my little show?
Next time without pants.
Haiku #65774, by df
September 4, 2019 6:03 pm ET


Rode the bus today
Goofy passenger stood up
Farted and shat self
Haiku #65773, by Passenger of Waiting for another bus now
September 4, 2019 4:09 pm ET

Fart binoculars
Magnify the smell and sound
Of any cut fart
Haiku #65772, by Silencio of Butt end
September 4, 2019 3:57 pm ET

13 th Commandment
Thou shalt not deliver mail
To your neighbor's slot
Haiku #65771, by Postmaster of Gone Postal
September 4, 2019 1:59 pm ET

We all have a chance
To write meaningful haiku
In ink, blood or spooj
Haiku #65770, by Poetry Robot of I wrote mine in grease
September 4, 2019 1:56 pm ET

Fuck counting.
That's what Excel is for.
Ejaculate your creativity!
Right into your neighbor's mail slot.
Tell the police it's the ink with which your write fine poetry. Offer to write them a poem to give to their wives or girlfriends. Tell them it's the Divine Word of God. Enjoy your vacation.
Haiku #65769, by Donald Trump's 2nd Favorite Hairpiece. of That's Hairpiece, not Herpes.
September 4, 2019 1:06 pm ET

I only did #65756 to #65762.
Oh, shit that was more than five syllables.
Eat my man cunt!
Haiku #65768, by df
September 4, 2019 12:57 pm ET

Five of those poems
Are the work of Figpucker
Two by starkitten
Haiku #65767, by Haiku accounting dept of Office
September 4, 2019 10:36 am ET

Last seven haikus
Were not abominable...
just very boring
Haiku #65766, by Chairman Moo of Vacaville
September 4, 2019 9:34 am ET

Dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink dink dink
Dink dink dink dink dink
Haiku #65765, by Sausage dink of Dink rink
September 4, 2019 4:03 am ET

Faint sound of popping
Butter at room temperature
Preferred lubricant
Haiku #65764, by Orville
September 4, 2019 4:01 am ET

Picked from the lineup
Sick, enormous ear of corn
with a cornrection
Haiku #65763, by Orville Redenbacher of Corn hole
September 4, 2019 3:38 am ET

If you have a stroke
while having a heart attack,
would you masturbate?
Haiku #65762, by
September 4, 2019 2:05 am ET

God does not love you.
But then neither does Satan.
I guess you're just fucked.
Haiku #65761, by
September 4, 2019 2:03 am ET

Shit she's just fourteen.
I am such an old pervert.
Fifty bucks?! Too much.
Haiku #65760, by
September 4, 2019 1:16 am ET