Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.
Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.
Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.
But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.
by And no fucking helmet!
Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy
by Seriously Kidding of Lighten Up You Faggot
They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg
by Wilma of Bedrock
Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku
by Starkitten of PNW
Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism
by Smelly Kelli Ripper of Undisclosed
I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too
Hey, How ya doin'?
by Joey of Friends apartment
That bike was stolen
The night I lost my hymen
It was cherry red
by The Hymen of And the bike
Those "friends" are called lice.
Better spray your pillow case.
You nasty hippie.
by
Use your bicycle.
That old rusty Schwinn ten-speed.
My balls on the curb.
by
They run up and down
My pillowcase all night long
Tiny dinosaur friends
by Now I want to live of Pillowcase
Farmer gathers eggs
Places them in a basket
Small dinosaurs hatch
by I like that of World where I wasn't to live
If I had a car
If you wanted me to. I'd
Run over your balls
by Someone you know of Who can't drive
I thought I wrote that
That's how much I understand
Don't give up yet, friend
by Someone you know of Rock bottom
You don't understand
the situation at hand.
All joy has been lost.
by
I so want to die.
It would be much easier
if I had a gun.
by
Poo fart now change bun.
Queers blow semen in hole rims.
Dingleberry turds.
by
You are a strange one.
There's no meaning in poems.
Arbitrary words.
by
Which does more damage,
LSD or head trauma?
Why not try them both!
Munch the whole damn sheet.
Jump over speeding sports cars.
Because God said to.
Simultaneous
Happy party fun good time
Neural necrosis.
Or something like that.
Want to buy a used chicken?
Delicious fresh eggs.
by
Sometimes my balls hurt.
Is it some kind of disease?
Should I not hit them?
by
What if head hunters
caught a Jap bagel-head girl?
Eat it or shrink it?
by
Fukushima shine
Let's make use of your forehead
Put on this lampshade
by I got a free bagel of With this Japanese lamp
Seeing double now
Is that just you over there
Or some conjoined twins?
by Drunk of Barstool
Twenty six teeth left
In the head that God gave me
He kicked out the rest
by Ouch of That smarts
The vast difference
between the vas deferens
and vast difference
is in the spelling.
Or, in your case, the smelling.
Syphilis does that.
Starvin' Marvin's head
is a penis cross section.
You should check it out.
by
The rode less traveled
Was where they tossed the dildo
But I still found it
by Traveler of Road (less traveled)
The vas deferens
Had other plans for poor Jim
And there you have it
by Biology of Class
He always wanted
To pee inside a woman
That's what he told me
by Person he told of Within earshot
French soggy biscuit.
Where am I going with this?
Weasel vagina.
by
teary eyed, I cry
sorrow so immense, I die
My Minecraft cat died
by Line of lines
I thought that croissant
had a funny taste to it.
Funny like a clown.
by
The only time I ever fucked a croissant was in France.
by Pierre of France
Explain the bulge, please
Do scarecrows get erections?
Is it a corn cob?
by Outstanding of Field
Jungian approach
To psychoanalysis:
"You motherfucker"
by Anomalous Poet
Got a resource here
Thirteen inch trouser python
See what you can do
by Walkin Funny of Hard to say where
I scream then you scream
But there's no goddamn ice cream
Why are we screaming?
by Witness of 2020 Presidential Debate
Psychoanalized
Just why do you bend the spoons?
Urinalysis
by Frigmund Roid of Couch
Let's debate about
Distribution / resources
Shouting match ensues
by Capitalism vs Communism of Giant Doooosh vs Turd Sandwich
Psychically bends spoons
To shove up your fucking ass
Uri Geller's here
by Judaism vs. Communism of Oy Vey Who Will Win?
Tump stable genius!
Compared to Bolshe Bernie's
Mad Communist crew
Stupid Commies all
New Democrat red Chitbirds
Shit on our country
Green new deal con job
No more cars, air planes and boats
Except for themselves.
No more hamburger!
Tofu for all Comrades!
Except for themselves.
No more Automats!
Turn in your Kalashnikove's!
But we will keep ours.
Better idea Veks!
Cram them in your red grain chutes!
And we will keep ours!
by Baron Urgern Von Stern Berg of Mongolia
*they're not poets.
fucking grammar
by Anonymous Poet
Five-year-olds get high
behind the kindergarten.
Teacher can't find stash.
by Major bummer.
Three dead mosquitoes.
Well, at least their not poets.
But still blood-suckers.
by Anonymous Poet
Talented asshole.
Gay man does Kegel routine.
Shows bitches what's up.
by is that you, cuntfart?
Brazilian waxing.
Just the taint and balls today.
Maybe the nose hairs.
by df
I just love pigeons
I bit off a man's ear once
It wasn't Van Gogh
by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
OK, Hunan pork.
You want small or you want large?
For here or to go?
by Meat Cleaver Lady's Husband of Asia Pearl Kitchen
Tulsi get Bernied
Hillary get off the hook
Things get more crazy
by Old Lady with Meat Cleaver of Chinatown
"Dogs piss on trees."
- Neil deGrasse Tyson
by Anonymous Poet
Speaking of hand jobs
I'd much rather watch paint dry
Or watch the grass grow
by Ann Noyed of Behind binoculars
Yoga mat poop stain
Downward facing dog poop pose
Full lotus pantsload
by Yogi of Smelly
