BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
310 Days
65990 Haikus

A flag stuck in dirt.
A tree that sprouts dead bodies.
Oozing money sap.
Haiku #65851, by Ozzy Osbourne Oozing Oodles of Nude Noodles.
September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.

Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.

Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.

But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.
Haiku #65850, by And no fucking helmet!
September 8, 2019 6:53 pm ET

Christ poets are fags.
Faggots, trolls, and drama queens.
I hope you all die.
Haiku #65849, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy
Haiku #65848, by Seriously Kidding of Lighten Up You Faggot
September 8, 2019 6:07 pm ET

They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg
Haiku #65847, by Wilma of Bedrock
September 8, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku
Haiku #65846, by Starkitten of PNW
September 8, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism
Haiku #65845, by Smelly Kelli Ripper of Undisclosed
September 8, 2019 12:37 pm ET

I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too
Hey, How ya doin'?
Haiku #65844, by Joey of Friends apartment
September 8, 2019 12:28 pm ET

That bike was stolen
The night I lost my hymen
It was cherry red
Haiku #65843, by The Hymen of And the bike
September 8, 2019 12:25 pm ET

Those "friends" are called lice.
Better spray your pillow case.
You nasty hippie.
Haiku #65842, by
September 8, 2019 12:09 pm ET

Use your bicycle.
That old rusty Schwinn ten-speed.
My balls on the curb.
Haiku #65841, by
September 8, 2019 12:06 pm ET

They run up and down
My pillowcase all night long
Tiny dinosaur friends
Haiku #65840, by Now I want to live of Pillowcase
September 8, 2019 4:13 am ET

Farmer gathers eggs
Places them in a basket
Small dinosaurs hatch
Haiku #65839, by I like that of World where I wasn't to live
September 8, 2019 4:11 am ET

If I had a car
If you wanted me to. I'd
Run over your balls
Haiku #65838, by Someone you know of Who can't drive
September 8, 2019 3:55 am ET

I thought I wrote that
That's how much I understand
Don't give up yet, friend
Haiku #65837, by Someone you know of Rock bottom
September 8, 2019 3:38 am ET

You don't understand
the situation at hand.
All joy has been lost.
Haiku #65836, by
September 8, 2019 3:27 am ET

I so want to die.
It would be much easier
if I had a gun.
Haiku #65835, by
September 8, 2019 3:23 am ET

Poo fart now change bun.
Queers blow semen in hole rims.
Dingleberry turds.
Haiku #65834, by
September 8, 2019 3:16 am ET

You are a strange one.
There's no meaning in poems.
Arbitrary words.
Haiku #65833, by
September 8, 2019 3:11 am ET

Which does more damage,
LSD or head trauma?
Why not try them both!

Munch the whole damn sheet.
Jump over speeding sports cars.
Because God said to.

Happy party fun good time
Neural necrosis.

Or something like that.
Want to buy a used chicken?
Delicious fresh eggs.
Haiku #65832, by
September 8, 2019 3:08 am ET

Sometimes my balls hurt.
Is it some kind of disease?
Should I not hit them?
Haiku #65831, by
September 8, 2019 3:00 am ET

What if head hunters
caught a Jap bagel-head girl?
Eat it or shrink it?
Haiku #65830, by
September 8, 2019 2:58 am ET

Fukushima shine
Let's make use of your forehead
Put on this lampshade
Haiku #65829, by I got a free bagel of With this Japanese lamp
September 8, 2019 12:22 am ET

Seeing double now
Is that just you over there
Or some conjoined twins?
Haiku #65828, by Drunk of Barstool
September 8, 2019 12:14 am ET

Twenty six teeth left
In the head that God gave me
He kicked out the rest
Haiku #65827, by Ouch of That smarts
September 8, 2019 12:10 am ET

The vast difference
between the vas deferens
and vast difference

is in the spelling.
Or, in your case, the smelling.
Syphilis does that.

Starvin' Marvin's head
is a penis cross section.
You should check it out.
Haiku #65826, by
September 7, 2019 11:02 pm ET

The rode less traveled
Was where they tossed the dildo
But I still found it
Haiku #65825, by Traveler of Road (less traveled)
September 7, 2019 10:56 pm ET

The vas deferens
Had other plans for poor Jim
And there you have it
Haiku #65824, by Biology of Class
September 7, 2019 10:43 pm ET

He always wanted
To pee inside a woman
That's what he told me
Haiku #65823, by Person he told of Within earshot
September 7, 2019 10:40 pm ET

French soggy biscuit.
Where am I going with this?
Weasel vagina.
Haiku #65822, by
September 7, 2019 7:53 pm ET

teary eyed, I cry
sorrow so immense, I die
My Minecraft cat died
Haiku #65821, by Line of lines
September 7, 2019 10:35 am ET

I thought that croissant
had a funny taste to it.
Funny like a clown.
Haiku #65820, by
September 7, 2019 4:54 am ET

The only time I ever fucked a croissant was in France.
Haiku #65819, by Pierre of France
September 7, 2019 2:20 am ET

Explain the bulge, please
Do scarecrows get erections?
Is it a corn cob?
Haiku #65818, by Outstanding of Field
September 7, 2019 1:41 am ET

Jungian approach
To psychoanalysis:
"You motherfucker"
Haiku #65817, by Anomalous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:57 am ET

Got a resource here
Thirteen inch trouser python
See what you can do
Haiku #65816, by Walkin Funny of Hard to say where
September 7, 2019 12:57 am ET

I scream then you scream
But there's no goddamn ice cream
Why are we screaming?
Haiku #65815, by Witness of 2020 Presidential Debate
September 7, 2019 12:54 am ET

Just why do you bend the spoons?
Haiku #65814, by Frigmund Roid of Couch
September 7, 2019 12:54 am ET

Let's debate about
Distribution / resources
Shouting match ensues
Haiku #65813, by Capitalism vs Communism of Giant Doooosh vs Turd Sandwich
September 7, 2019 12:52 am ET

Psychically bends spoons
To shove up your fucking ass
Uri Geller's here
Haiku #65812, by Judaism vs. Communism of Oy Vey Who Will Win?
September 7, 2019 12:49 am ET

Tump stable genius!
Compared to Bolshe Bernie's
Mad Communist crew

Stupid Commies all
New Democrat red Chitbirds
Shit on our country

Green new deal con job
No more cars, air planes and boats
Except for themselves.

No more hamburger!
Tofu for all Comrades!
Except for themselves.

No more Automats!
Turn in your Kalashnikove's!
But we will keep ours.

Better idea Veks!
Cram them in your red grain chutes!
And we will keep ours!
Haiku #65811, by Baron Urgern Von Stern Berg of Mongolia
September 7, 2019 12:44 am ET

*they're not poets.
fucking grammar
Haiku #65810, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:28 am ET

Five-year-olds get high
behind the kindergarten.
Teacher can't find stash.
Haiku #65809, by Major bummer.
September 7, 2019 12:27 am ET

Three dead mosquitoes.
Well, at least their not poets.
But still blood-suckers.
Haiku #65808, by Anonymous Poet
September 7, 2019 12:25 am ET

Talented asshole.
Gay man does Kegel routine.
Shows bitches what's up.
Haiku #65807, by is that you, cuntfart?
September 7, 2019 12:23 am ET

Brazilian waxing.
Just the taint and balls today.
Maybe the nose hairs.
Haiku #65806, by df
September 7, 2019 12:18 am ET

I just love pigeons
I bit off a man's ear once
It wasn't Van Gogh
Haiku #65805, by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
September 6, 2019 11:06 pm ET

OK, Hunan pork.
You want small or you want large?
For here or to go?
Haiku #65804, by Meat Cleaver Lady's Husband of Asia Pearl Kitchen
September 6, 2019 10:02 pm ET

Tulsi get Bernied
Hillary get off the hook
Things get more crazy
Haiku #65803, by Old Lady with Meat Cleaver of Chinatown
September 6, 2019 9:58 pm ET

"Dogs piss on trees."

- Neil deGrasse Tyson
Haiku #65802, by Anonymous Poet
September 6, 2019 6:51 pm ET