BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
310 Days
65990 Haikus
Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.
Haiku #65873, by At the YMCA... sing it! of Ha, now you'll have that tune in your head all day.
September 9, 2019 7:45 pm ET

What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway
Haiku #65872, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 9, 2019 5:11 am ET

Why do we do this?
It's so counterproductive.
Tell me that I'm wrong.
Haiku #65871, by
September 9, 2019 5:05 am ET

Haiku #65870, by Proof of Purchase of Required
September 9, 2019 4:47 am ET

All poets should die.
Dye their hair bright pink and orange.
Get drunk and pass out.

Stand at a corner.
Pass out flowers to strangers.
Then they should kill them
Haiku #65869, by selves.
September 9, 2019 4:46 am ET

Strawberry dink spray.
You do not smell like a man.
You smell like some jam.

Don't cum on my toast.
I like jelly without seeds.
Forskin vacuum seal.
Haiku #65868, by
September 9, 2019 4:38 am ET

Penis Odor Spray
Do you have a stinky dink?
Pick some up today!
Haiku #65867, by Advertisement of Billboard
September 9, 2019 3:37 am ET

Preemptive STD drugs.
Viagra and meth.

Sometimes LSD.
But that's not easy to find
at "The Earth's Asshole".

Mountains of mushrooms.
Occasionally some pot.

Sometimes I take the
local witch doctor mixture.
Mountain tribe madman.
Haiku #65866, by I don't need the Viagra, but it makes the meth more intense.
September 9, 2019 1:28 am ET

Haiku #65865, by
September 9, 2019 12:40 am ET

Live in the moment
Steal garden gnomes from Kmart
Fill them with your spew
Haiku #65864, by Life Coach of Haiku Central
September 8, 2019 10:36 pm ET

we all will die, how
when, why, what and who are up
to each passing flesh
Haiku #65863, by vhs of so fuck off
September 8, 2019 10:23 pm ET

What medication
And how many different pills
Does Darth take? Let's guess.
Haiku #65862, by Stench of Figpucker Crosses Oceans
September 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET

Of all enemas
Chef Boyardee loved the MOST
Stuffed Ravioli
Haiku #65861, by Rural Guido of Boot
September 8, 2019 9:45 pm ET

Of all enemies
The Ultra Cuck hated one
Most... Reality
Haiku #65860, by Morgan Freeman of Narrating Ultra Cuck Movie Franchise
September 8, 2019 9:09 pm ET

No need for sidekick
All are inferior... still
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65859, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Roof, gazing in contempt at all you plebs
September 8, 2019 9:02 pm ET

I'm saving the world
Pick up litter... to relax:
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65858, by Ultra Cuck of focusing on the garbage outside, not inside
September 8, 2019 8:55 pm ET

The best at being
Very worst superhero
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65857, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:50 pm ET

Wait, God isn't real
And I guess neither is "bad"
*shrugs* Beating off to porn
Haiku #65856, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:47 pm ET

Guns are really bad
God is really really bad
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65855, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:45 pm ET

Someone's fee-fees got hurt
The gamma male must lash out
You, The Ultra Cuck
Haiku #65854, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2019 8:29 pm ET

Ripe figs that pucker
Like hemorrhoids of a trucker
Save those ones for me
Haiku #65853, by Fignacious D of Newton, MA
September 8, 2019 7:53 pm ET

I remember that
The handlebars on the bike
Smelled like E.T.'s bum
Haiku #65852, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET


A flag stuck in dirt.
A tree that sprouts dead bodies.
Oozing money sap.
Haiku #65851, by Ozzy Osbourne Oozing Oodles of Nude Noodles.
September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.

Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.

Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.

But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.
Haiku #65850, by And no fucking helmet!
September 8, 2019 6:53 pm ET

Christ poets are fags.
Faggots, trolls, and drama queens.
I hope you all die.
Haiku #65849, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy
Haiku #65848, by Seriously Kidding of Lighten Up You Faggot
September 8, 2019 6:07 pm ET

They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg
Haiku #65847, by Wilma of Bedrock
September 8, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku
Haiku #65846, by Starkitten of PNW
September 8, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism
Haiku #65845, by Smelly Kelli Ripper of Undisclosed
September 8, 2019 12:37 pm ET

I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too
Hey, How ya doin'?
Haiku #65844, by Joey of Friends apartment
September 8, 2019 12:28 pm ET

That bike was stolen
The night I lost my hymen
It was cherry red
Haiku #65843, by The Hymen of And the bike
September 8, 2019 12:25 pm ET

Those "friends" are called lice.
Better spray your pillow case.
You nasty hippie.
Haiku #65842, by
September 8, 2019 12:09 pm ET

Use your bicycle.
That old rusty Schwinn ten-speed.
My balls on the curb.
Haiku #65841, by
September 8, 2019 12:06 pm ET

They run up and down
My pillowcase all night long
Tiny dinosaur friends
Haiku #65840, by Now I want to live of Pillowcase
September 8, 2019 4:13 am ET

Farmer gathers eggs
Places them in a basket
Small dinosaurs hatch
Haiku #65839, by I like that of World where I wasn't to live
September 8, 2019 4:11 am ET

If I had a car
If you wanted me to. I'd
Run over your balls
Haiku #65838, by Someone you know of Who can't drive
September 8, 2019 3:55 am ET

I thought I wrote that
That's how much I understand
Don't give up yet, friend
Haiku #65837, by Someone you know of Rock bottom
September 8, 2019 3:38 am ET

You don't understand
the situation at hand.
All joy has been lost.
Haiku #65836, by
September 8, 2019 3:27 am ET

I so want to die.
It would be much easier
if I had a gun.
Haiku #65835, by
September 8, 2019 3:23 am ET

Poo fart now change bun.
Queers blow semen in hole rims.
Dingleberry turds.
Haiku #65834, by
September 8, 2019 3:16 am ET

You are a strange one.
There's no meaning in poems.
Arbitrary words.
Haiku #65833, by
September 8, 2019 3:11 am ET

Which does more damage,
LSD or head trauma?
Why not try them both!

Munch the whole damn sheet.
Jump over speeding sports cars.
Because God said to.

Happy party fun good time
Neural necrosis.

Or something like that.
Want to buy a used chicken?
Delicious fresh eggs.
Haiku #65832, by
September 8, 2019 3:08 am ET

Sometimes my balls hurt.
Is it some kind of disease?
Should I not hit them?
Haiku #65831, by
September 8, 2019 3:00 am ET

What if head hunters
caught a Jap bagel-head girl?
Eat it or shrink it?
Haiku #65830, by
September 8, 2019 2:58 am ET

Fukushima shine
Let's make use of your forehead
Put on this lampshade
Haiku #65829, by I got a free bagel of With this Japanese lamp
September 8, 2019 12:22 am ET

Seeing double now
Is that just you over there
Or some conjoined twins?
Haiku #65828, by Drunk of Barstool
September 8, 2019 12:14 am ET

Twenty six teeth left
In the head that God gave me
He kicked out the rest
Haiku #65827, by Ouch of That smarts
September 8, 2019 12:10 am ET

The vast difference
between the vas deferens
and vast difference

is in the spelling.
Or, in your case, the smelling.
Syphilis does that.

Starvin' Marvin's head
is a penis cross section.
You should check it out.
Haiku #65826, by
September 7, 2019 11:02 pm ET

The rode less traveled
Was where they tossed the dildo
But I still found it
Haiku #65825, by Traveler of Road (less traveled)
September 7, 2019 10:56 pm ET

The vas deferens
Had other plans for poor Jim
And there you have it
Haiku #65824, by Biology of Class
September 7, 2019 10:43 pm ET