I will rend your limbs.
You will be a pile of blood
After this haiku

I'ma git me some...
Some a dat BAD BAD haiku.
What I'm talkin' bout.

So Cal, so go surf.
Mavericks would be awesome.
Just kidding; don't die.

I'm back in SoCal
But I won't be here too long
Just biding my time.

Your life is pointless.
I mean, just look at yourself.
You read bad haiku!

Actually, Adam
made his own banana stand
And Eve snatched it up

No bed of roses
Honey, while you were sleeping
I pruned your manhood

These pistachios
God made something so tasty
Intestine shrapnel

Eve was handy too
Made the first banana stand
Adam snatched it up

Jesus Christ is a
charitable carpenter
and he gives me wood.

Can't find the right words
To tell you in this poem
So I will just fart

This does not make sense.
If it made sense, you'd read it.
Stop licking the screen.

That won't get you high.
Try vinegar latte shots.
Attacked by purple.

She will not fuck you.
Not vaginally I mean.
Break dance battle whore.

What could I tell you
that you haven't heard before.
Sardine-stuffed gold flute.

Claustrophobia
For the midget I sat on
At the Bingo Hall

Refresh each minute.
I must have the last haiku
when the earth explodes.

Avocado toast
Three cheers for this funny fruit
Let's all drink to that

Head on collision
one last duck face selfie, please
You've got it in you

Robber Mugabe
Whoops! Sorry I meant Robert...
Trashed his own country.

Zimbabwe's lyin--
Sorry, meant to say lion...
Now more a dead dog.

Somalia called.
Their women want their clits back.
I sent them to Darth.

Do not suck his "dink"!
You will get botulism.
Among other things.

Wobbert Smiff whining
Two, maybe three chords at best.
That's most of the Cure

Botox injections
Now my boring dink looks like
Renee Zellweger

If your cock's too small
and her cunt is enormous,
try corn on the cob.

The music was dull.
He defeated Mecha Streisand.
That's all that matters.

Be on time tonight
I'll be carrying a bag
Of unmarked assholes

Only memories:
TSA groping my crotch.
And a new skyline.

Wittle Wobbert Smiff
Made boring droning music
Back in the eighties.

Forgot it was there
Bagel and a schmear of lox
Left in my forehead!

Crime fighting choices.
Catwoman in area.
Batman packs condoms.

Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts

Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.

Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo

Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life

That chop suey place
The Board of Health shut them down
I still have the shits

My wedding picture
But I have replaced the bride
With a new Fleshlight

But for the grace of
Something or other you know
Burp there would go I

Detached my penis
Sucked on it a few minutes
Swallowed the contents

Smelly cheese, like feet
Rancid perfume worn by whores
Top notes of chair seat

nothing really matters on line as much
as those you loved, can love, lost and remembered irl

Do you like it when
someone plays with your testes?
Does nothing for me.

How can you tell if
you're friend's homosexual?
His dick tastes like shit!

I don't understand.
What aspect of anal sex
appeals to you.

I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I feel you watching me
Over there
Come to me
If you care
Don't sit and stare
It's just not fair
Make your move
If you dare
What, what
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
It's okay
To have a little fight
Don't you worry
I won't bite
(Not that hard)
If you want it
I'll give you power
Just be gentle
I'm delicate like a flower
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
What what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay

Did you come in me?
Yes, but it's okay; I'm clean.
Said the gay boy toy.

Robert Smith's goth taint
How did we overlook it?
It's the 8th wonder

This site is worst site
Worst site in all of China
and also Hong Kong

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
Threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?
You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me
You soft and only
You lost and lonely
You just like heaven

I don't think you can
Find better poems online
This site has it all

Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.

What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway