Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts

Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.

Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo

Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life

That chop suey place
The Board of Health shut them down
I still have the shits

My wedding picture
But I have replaced the bride
With a new Fleshlight

But for the grace of
Something or other you know
Burp there would go I

Detached my penis
Sucked on it a few minutes
Swallowed the contents

Smelly cheese, like feet
Rancid perfume worn by whores
Top notes of chair seat

nothing really matters on line as much
as those you loved, can love, lost and remembered irl

Do you like it when
someone plays with your testes?
Does nothing for me.

How can you tell if
you're friend's homosexual?
His dick tastes like shit!

I don't understand.
What aspect of anal sex
appeals to you.

I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I feel you watching me
Over there
Come to me
If you care
Don't sit and stare
It's just not fair
Make your move
If you dare
What, what
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
It's okay
To have a little fight
Don't you worry
I won't bite
(Not that hard)
If you want it
I'll give you power
Just be gentle
I'm delicate like a flower
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
What what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay

Did you come in me?
Yes, but it's okay; I'm clean.
Said the gay boy toy.

Robert Smith's goth taint
How did we overlook it?
It's the 8th wonder

This site is worst site
Worst site in all of China
and also Hong Kong

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
Threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?
You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me
You soft and only
You lost and lonely
You just like heaven

I don't think you can
Find better poems online
This site has it all

Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.

What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway

Why do we do this?
It's so counterproductive.
Tell me that I'm wrong.

ATTENTION LADIES
TODAY ONLY! ONE FREE HUG
WITH EVERY BLOW JOB!

All poets should die.
Dye their hair bright pink and orange.
Get drunk and pass out.

Stand at a corner.
Pass out flowers to strangers.
Then they should kill them

Strawberry dink spray.
You do not smell like a man.
You smell like some jam.

Don't cum on my toast.
I like jelly without seeds.
Forskin vacuum seal.

Penis Odor Spray
Do you have a stinky dink?
Pick some up today!

Antibiotics.
Preemptive STD drugs.
Viagra and meth.

Sometimes LSD.
But that's not easy to find
at "The Earth's Asshole".

Mountains of mushrooms.
Occasionally some pot.
Multivitamins.

Sometimes I take the
local witch doctor mixture.
Mountain tribe madman.

CUUUUUUUUUUUNT!

Live in the moment
Steal garden gnomes from Kmart
Fill them with your spew

we all will die, how
when, why, what and who are up
to each passing flesh

What medication
And how many different pills
Does Darth take? Let's guess.

Of all enemas
Chef Boyardee loved the MOST
Stuffed Ravioli

Of all enemies
The Ultra Cuck hated one
Most... Reality

No need for sidekick
All are inferior... still
Beating off to porn

I'm saving the world
Pick up litter... to relax:
Beating off to porn

The best at being
Very worst superhero
Beating off to porn

Wait, God isn't real
And I guess neither is "bad"
*shrugs* Beating off to porn

Guns are really bad
God is really really bad
Beating off to porn

Someone's fee-fees got hurt
The gamma male must lash out
You, The Ultra Cuck

Ripe figs that pucker
Like hemorrhoids of a trucker
Save those ones for me

I remember that
The handlebars on the bike
Smelled like E.T.'s bum

Nationalism.
Homosexuality.
Simultaneous.

A flag stuck in dirt.
A tree that sprouts dead bodies.
Oozing money sap.

Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.

Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.

Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.

But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.

Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy

They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg

Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku

Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism

I'll be there for you
Because you're there for me too
Hey, How ya doin'?

That bike was stolen
The night I lost my hymen
It was cherry red

Those "friends" are called lice.
Better spray your pillow case.
You nasty hippie.