BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
So Cal, so go surf.
Mavericks would be awesome.
Just kidding; don't die.
Haiku #65921, by
September 14, 2019 7:26 am ET

I'm back in SoCal
But I won't be here too long
Just biding my time.
Haiku #65920, by mean d. of So Cal
September 14, 2019 2:32 am ET

Your life is pointless.
I mean, just look at yourself.
You read bad haiku!
Haiku #65919, by Victim of the Glaringly Obvious. of Make it Stop!
September 13, 2019 6:29 pm ET

Actually, Adam
made his own banana stand
And Eve snatched it up
Haiku #65918, by Bible beater of Undisclosed
September 13, 2019 4:06 pm ET

No bed of roses
Honey, while you were sleeping
I pruned your manhood
Haiku #65917, by True Story of In the news
September 13, 2019 2:52 am ET

These pistachios
God made something so tasty
Intestine shrapnel
Haiku #65916, by like I must be nuts of Nuthouse
September 13, 2019 2:24 am ET

Eve was handy too
Made the first banana stand
Adam snatched it up
Haiku #65915, by Bible beater of Garden
September 13, 2019 2:17 am ET

Jesus Christ is a
charitable carpenter
and he gives me wood.
Haiku #65914, by Gay for Jesus
September 13, 2019 1:57 am ET

Can't find the right words
To tell you in this poem
So I will just fart
Haiku #65913, by Gasbag of Methane Lane
September 13, 2019 1:07 am ET

This does not make sense.
If it made sense, you'd read it.
Stop licking the screen.

That won't get you high.
Try vinegar latte shots.
Attacked by purple.

She will not fuck you.
Not vaginally I mean.
Break dance battle whore.
Haiku #65912, by Anonymous Poet
September 12, 2019 11:53 pm ET

What could I tell you
that you haven't heard before.
Sardine-stuffed gold flute.
Haiku #65911, by Bouree with a side of flounder
September 12, 2019 11:48 pm ET

Claustrophobia
For the midget I sat on
At the Bingo Hall
Haiku #65910, by Polly Esther Pantz of No ventilation
September 12, 2019 11:35 pm ET

Refresh each minute.
I must have the last haiku
when the earth explodes.
Haiku #65909, by
September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Avocado toast
Three cheers for this funny fruit
Let's all drink to that
Haiku #65908, by Drunk of Barstool
September 12, 2019 11:25 pm ET

Head on collision
one last duck face selfie, please
You've got it in you
Haiku #65907, by Person of Picking up intestines on highway
September 12, 2019 11:22 pm ET

Robber Mugabe
Whoops! Sorry I meant Robert...
Trashed his own country.

Zimbabwe's lyin--
Sorry, meant to say lion...
Now more a dead dog.
Haiku #65906, by Memories of Rhodesia
September 12, 2019 8:47 pm ET

No fucking way man.
Not giving up my necklace.
"Beef" jerky jewelry.
Haiku #65905, by df
September 12, 2019 8:34 pm ET

Somalia called.
Their women want their clits back.
I sent them to Darth.
Haiku #65904, by Sheikh of the Desert Wastes
September 12, 2019 7:04 pm ET

Do not suck his "dink"!
You will get botulism.
Among other things.
Haiku #65903, by Clostridium botulinum of Zellweger's revenge.
September 12, 2019 4:55 pm ET

Wobbert Smiff whining
Two, maybe three chords at best.
That's most of the Cure
Haiku #65902, by but I still like "Killing an Arab"
September 12, 2019 11:46 am ET

Botox injections
Now my boring dink looks like
Renee Zellweger
Haiku #65901, by U. Look different of Undisclosed
September 12, 2019 11:16 am ET

If your cock's too small
and her cunt is enormous,
try corn on the cob.
Haiku #65900, by Anonymous Poet
September 12, 2019 10:20 am ET

The music was dull.
He defeated Mecha Streisand.
That's all that matters.
Haiku #65899, by And you know he partied like no tomorrow. of I mean, wouldn't you?!
September 11, 2019 11:38 pm ET

Be on time tonight
I'll be carrying a bag
Of unmarked assholes
Haiku #65898, by Bag holder of Appointed place
September 11, 2019 11:37 pm ET

Only memories:
TSA groping my crotch.
And a new skyline.
Haiku #65897, by
September 11, 2019 11:34 pm ET

Wittle Wobbert Smiff
Made boring droning music
Back in the eighties.
Haiku #65896, by Pasty-Faced Brits of Teen Existentialism
September 11, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Forgot it was there
Bagel and a schmear of lox
Left in my forehead!
Haiku #65895, by Noticer of Details (Not)
September 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET

Everyone forgot.
But they said that they would not.
Must have been the Jews.
Haiku #65894, by
September 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET

Crime fighting choices.
Catwoman in area.
Batman packs condoms.
Haiku #65893, by Holy spermicide, Batman!
September 11, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts
Haiku #65892, by Catwoman of Gotham
September 11, 2019 12:23 pm ET

Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.
Haiku #65891, by
September 11, 2019 8:50 am ET

Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo
Haiku #65890, by Captain Kirk
September 11, 2019 7:19 am ET

Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life
Haiku #65889, by I make love to my wife.I just fuck yours.
September 11, 2019 7:15 am ET

That chop suey place
The Board of Health shut them down
I still have the shits
Haiku #65888, by Still Shitting of Near the nearest terlit
September 11, 2019 1:32 am ET

My wedding picture
But I have replaced the bride
With a new Fleshlight
Haiku #65887, by Spark Plugfucker of Man Cave
September 10, 2019 11:20 pm ET

But for the grace of
Something or other you know
Burp there would go I
Haiku #65886, by Drunk of Barstool
September 10, 2019 11:17 pm ET

Detached my penis
Sucked on it a few minutes
Swallowed the contents
Haiku #65885, by I can't believe it's not butter
September 10, 2019 11:17 pm ET

Smelly cheese, like feet
Rancid perfume worn by whores
Top notes of chair seat
Haiku #65884, by Nose of Apparently near you
September 10, 2019 11:15 pm ET

nothing really matters on line as much
as those you loved, can love, lost and remembered irl
Haiku #65883, by vhs
September 10, 2019 11:05 pm ET

Do you like it when
someone plays with your testes?
Does nothing for me.
Haiku #65882, by Shut up and suck it!
September 10, 2019 10:11 pm ET

How can you tell if
you're friend's homosexual?
His dick tastes like shit!
Haiku #65881, by Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
September 10, 2019 10:09 pm ET

I don't understand.
What aspect of anal sex
appeals to you.
Haiku #65880, by Stuck up, closed-minded straight man preaching The Word of Jesus Christ and The Gospel from God!
September 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET

I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I feel you watching me
Over there
Come to me
If you care
Don't sit and stare
It's just not fair
Make your move
If you dare
What, what
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
It's okay
To have a little fight
Don't you worry
I won't bite
(Not that hard)
If you want it
I'll give you power
Just be gentle
I'm delicate like a flower
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
What what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
Haiku #65879, by Samwell & Butters of In the butt! Where else would you put it, silly buns?!
September 10, 2019 9:34 pm ET

Did you come in me?
Yes, but it's okay; I'm clean.
Said the gay boy toy.
Haiku #65878, by Noticer of the Glaringly Obvious of Behind your backside pumping away
September 10, 2019 9:22 pm ET

Robert Smith's goth taint
How did we overlook it?
It's the 8th wonder
Haiku #65877, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 10, 2019 8:46 pm ET

This site is worst site
Worst site in all of China
and also Hong Kong
Haiku #65876, by No Tickee No Laundry of Opium Den
September 10, 2019 12:24 pm ET

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
Threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?
You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me
You soft and only
You lost and lonely
You just like heaven
Haiku #65875, by evil bastard of Sing it!
September 10, 2019 10:54 am ET

I don't think you can
Find better poems online
This site has it all
Haiku #65874, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 10, 2019 1:22 am ET

Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.
Haiku #65873, by At the YMCA... sing it! of Ha, now you'll have that tune in your head all day.
September 9, 2019 7:45 pm ET

What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway
Haiku #65872, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 9, 2019 5:11 am ET