BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
73 Days
66769 Haikus
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65500, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:19 pm ET

Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65499, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:17 pm ET

It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
Haiku #65498, by df
August 5, 2019 6:47 am ET

Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
Haiku #65497, by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies.
August 5, 2019 4:45 am ET

Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
Haiku #65496, by df
August 5, 2019 4:43 am ET

Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
Haiku #65495, by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see.
August 5, 2019 4:41 am ET

Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.
Haiku #65494, by df
August 4, 2019 9:42 pm ET

Just ate Chinese food
Now, thoughts of Baryshnikov
That leotard bulge
Haiku #65493, by Hungry of Twenty minutes later
August 4, 2019 7:57 pm ET

China and Russia
Are battle for USA
Both make bad movie
Haiku #65492, by Long Brostrong of the Starship Enterprise
August 4, 2019 6:24 pm ET

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
Then- take his money
Haiku #65491, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:38 am ET

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
And taks his money
Haiku #65490, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:35 am ET

They yearn to be free
While back in the USA
Chumps- vote for Bernie
Haiku #65489, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:29 am ET

Right now in Hong Kong
One hundred thousand Tank Men
Saddle up for war
Haiku #65488, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:24 am ET

Poor Richard Gere
Told the truth about Chicom's
Never work again...
Haiku #65487, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:17 am ET

Lost track of the time
Alone at the train station
Stray dog approaches

Who are you? I ask
I m Richard Gere s akita
I take him right therr
Haiku #65486, by Screwed
August 4, 2019 6:06 am ET

Spread your legs Grandma
Grandpa choked on the dust cloud
Knocked him off his feet

Confused and alone
John Boy Walton s mole beat off
With help from his host
Haiku #65485, by Respect for your elders of Walton s Mountain
August 4, 2019 5:49 am ET

Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display
Much talk of humping
Haiku #65484, by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
August 4, 2019 12:42 am ET

Calamine lotion
On the end of your penis
Now your dink is pink
Haiku #65483, by Rosy Gonadz of Under old willow
August 4, 2019 12:13 am ET

Summer camp pervert
Watching you defecating
And wiping with leaves
Haiku #65482, by Pervert of Camp
August 3, 2019 11:27 pm ET

Somebody once said
If you have really big feet
Your dink should be large
Haiku #65481, by Uber driver of Waiting and masturbating
August 3, 2019 10:33 pm ET

Haiku #65480, by throw those fags out the window!
August 3, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.
Haiku #65479, by BroMany thanks to our sponsors: General Electric, Exxon, and the Charlie Manson Foundation. of San Diego Opera Scenic Studio
August 3, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Make it hurt so good
Said John Cougar Menstrualcramp
Blood on the scarecrow
Haiku #65478, by If I only had a brain of Red brick road
August 3, 2019 5:08 am ET

Help me pop my cyst.
It's right under my nut sack.
Oh, you're sooo boring!

Real men love cyst pus.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You are so damn dull!

So are your haiku.
Stinky grandma twat curtains.
See, that's a poem!
Haiku #65477, by Funt Cart! The most awesome poet in the world!
August 2, 2019 8:46 am ET

You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.

Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.
Haiku #65476, by
August 1, 2019 11:04 pm ET

I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.

I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.
Haiku #65475, by
August 1, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so
Haiku #65474, by This site fuckin sucks
August 1, 2019 10:55 pm ET

Chop off your penis.
Dice it and cook it in soup.
Serve it for dinner.

After they eat it,
let them know what they just ate.
Laugh in your wife's face.

"That is the last time
you will ever get my dick!
I am happy now!"
Haiku #65473, by President Donald Trump of No, seriously.
August 1, 2019 10:42 pm ET

Express the given function using window and step functions and compute its Laplace transform.
Haiku #65472, by
August 1, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Trapping and fucking
wild boars is no easy task.
KY jelly helps.
Haiku #65471, by Cue Deliverance theme song. of Squeal, little piggie, squeal for daddy.
August 1, 2019 7:03 pm ET

Who is more boring,
the bore or the copycat?
You make meth-heads yawn.

Work in surgery.
You're drug-free anesthesia.
Side effect, bad taste.
Haiku #65470, by df of Fuckin' those pigs all night long.
August 1, 2019 6:55 pm ET

The ghost of Reagan
Massaging his prostate gland
Eating bananas
Haiku #65469, by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
August 1, 2019 2:43 pm ET

When four Andrew Yangs
Locked in a room together
It becomes YangBang
Haiku #65468, by Donald J Trump of The White House
August 1, 2019 2:09 pm ET

Figpucker you're DULL!
Dull dull dull tiresome and dull.
(You are also dull.)
Haiku #65467, by Anonymous Poet
August 1, 2019 9:43 am ET

Diseases of lust.
They kind of feel good at first.
Extra sensitive.
Haiku #65466, by Don't say I never gave you anything. of I caught it from a pig.
August 1, 2019 3:29 am ET

Heightened awareness
Sense of smell prehistoric
Sabre toothed anus
Haiku #65465, by Caveman of Cave (actually wife s cunt)
July 31, 2019 9:56 pm ET

Short at the checkout
People mocking you, Shorty
Haiku #65464, by Shorty of Checkout
July 31, 2019 9:49 pm ET

The scratch off ticket
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Scratch scratch scratch. You lose
Haiku #65463, by Trudging along of Under old willow
July 31, 2019 9:46 pm ET

Popping anal cysts.
It's now trending on YouTube.
Proctologists' dream.
Haiku #65462, by Jealous Ob-Gyn
July 31, 2019 8:44 pm ET

Oooh, that new car smell
Except it s not a new car
It s a hairy cunt
Haiku #65461, by Fornication of Porch
July 31, 2019 2:39 pm ET

Now that s manliness
Big shoes and you fill them up
A double cod piece
Haiku #65460, by 2Pecker of Doubledecker
July 31, 2019 11:20 am ET

Bugle at sunrise
My flatulence wakes the town
Gives the day purpose
Haiku #65459, by Walkin Funny of Shat my pantz
July 31, 2019 7:38 am ET

The milking parlour
Each penis trapped in metal
Not a cow in sight
Haiku #65458, by Cream Top of Past you eyes
July 30, 2019 11:30 pm ET

I am so evil.
I switched out the gold spray paint
with mosquito spray.

In the back alley
are a bunch of dead huffers.
Golden-faced corpses.

No laws are broken.
Used for intended purpose.
Deceased parasites.
Haiku #65457, by Jealous Pharaoh. of Afterlife adornments.
July 30, 2019 11:23 pm ET

You are not awesome.
You're less than ordinary.
Even substandard.
Haiku #65456, by Your significant other.
July 30, 2019 9:04 pm ET

I will not do it
if God does not tell me to.
Follow the Shepherd.

No, seriously.
Darth Vader's not Anakin.
"Dave" is... undarthy.

David Lee Roth, David Bowie, David Hasselhof... See, not very darthy at all... there are just no evil Davids out there. So Figpucker it is. All Figpuckers are evil.
Haiku #65455, by df
July 30, 2019 5:40 pm ET

A coincidence
Figpucker s name is David
Our Beloved Darth
Haiku #65454, by Star Trek Historian of Captain's Smelly Log
July 30, 2019 3:02 pm ET

David, in Psalms, said
Hate them with perfect hatred.
(But that's the O.T...)
Haiku #65453, by Groovy Messianic Hippie Shepherd of Love
July 30, 2019 10:27 am ET

Yes you should hate me
Because I am a shithead
Not 'cause God told you
Haiku #65452, by Jack the Zipper
July 30, 2019 9:58 am ET

The Bible says that
God says that I should hate you.
Your feelings on this?
Haiku #65451, by Devoid of feeling.
July 30, 2019 5:11 am ET