Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.

Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!

Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.

Just ate Chinese food
Now, thoughts of Baryshnikov
That leotard bulge

China and Russia
Are battle for USA
Both make bad movie

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
Then- take his money

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
And taks his money

They yearn to be free
While back in the USA
Chumps- vote for Bernie

Right now in Hong Kong
One hundred thousand Tank Men
Saddle up for war

Poor Richard Gere
Told the truth about Chicom's
Never work again...

Lost track of the time
Alone at the train station
Stray dog approaches

Who are you? I ask
I m Richard Gere s akita
I take him right therr

Spread your legs Grandma
Grandpa choked on the dust cloud
Knocked him off his feet

Confused and alone
John Boy Walton s mole beat off
With help from his host

Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display
Much talk of humping

Calamine lotion
On the end of your penis
Now your dink is pink

Summer camp pervert
Watching you defecating
And wiping with leaves

Somebody once said
If you have really big feet
Your dink should be large

intimidating
homosexuality
defenestrated

Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.

Make it hurt so good
Said John Cougar Menstrualcramp
Blood on the scarecrow

Help me pop my cyst.
It's right under my nut sack.
Oh, you're sooo boring!

Real men love cyst pus.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You are so damn dull!

So are your haiku.
Stinky grandma twat curtains.
See, that's a poem!

You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.

Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.

I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.

I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.

Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so

Chop off your penis.
Dice it and cook it in soup.
Serve it for dinner.

After they eat it,
let them know what they just ate.
Laugh in your wife's face.

"That is the last time
you will ever get my dick!
I am happy now!"

Express the given function using window and step functions and compute its Laplace transform.

Trapping and fucking
wild boars is no easy task.
KY jelly helps.

Who is more boring,
the bore or the copycat?
You make meth-heads yawn.

Work in surgery.
You're drug-free anesthesia.
Side effect, bad taste.

The ghost of Reagan
Massaging his prostate gland
Eating bananas

When four Andrew Yangs
Locked in a room together
It becomes YangBang

Figpucker you're DULL!
Dull dull dull tiresome and dull.
(You are also dull.)

Diseases of lust.
They kind of feel good at first.
Extra sensitive.

Heightened awareness
Sense of smell prehistoric
Sabre toothed anus

Short at the checkout
People mocking you, Shorty
TIME TO GO MENTAL!!!

The scratch off ticket
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Scratch scratch scratch. You lose

Popping anal cysts.
It's now trending on YouTube.
Proctologists' dream.

Oooh, that new car smell
Except it s not a new car
It s a hairy cunt

Now that s manliness
Big shoes and you fill them up
A double cod piece

Bugle at sunrise
My flatulence wakes the town
Gives the day purpose

The milking parlour
Each penis trapped in metal
Not a cow in sight

I am so evil.
I switched out the gold spray paint
with mosquito spray.

In the back alley
are a bunch of dead huffers.
Golden-faced corpses.

No laws are broken.
Used for intended purpose.
Deceased parasites.

You are not awesome.
You're less than ordinary.
Even substandard.

I will not do it
if God does not tell me to.
Follow the Shepherd.

No, seriously.
Darth Vader's not Anakin.
"Dave" is... undarthy.

David Lee Roth, David Bowie, David Hasselhof... See, not very darthy at all... there are just no evil Davids out there. So Figpucker it is. All Figpuckers are evil.

A coincidence
Figpucker s name is David
Our Beloved Darth

David, in Psalms, said
Hate them with perfect hatred.
(But that's the O.T...)

Yes you should hate me
Because I am a shithead
Not 'cause God told you

The Bible says that
God says that I should hate you.
Your feelings on this?

Sophistication.
I ate chocolate covered ants.
But not on purpose.

You got your chocolate on my testicles!
You got your testicles in my chocolate!
Two great tastes that taste great together.

Got no energy.
Constipated this morning.
Recommendations?

No, I don't want meth.
I already had coffee.
Oh, never mind then!

Stiff competition
The menfolk comparing schlongs
How far they can spit