You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.

Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.

I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.

I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.

Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so

Chop off your penis.
Dice it and cook it in soup.
Serve it for dinner.

After they eat it,
let them know what they just ate.
Laugh in your wife's face.

"That is the last time
you will ever get my dick!
I am happy now!"

Express the given function using window and step functions and compute its Laplace transform.

Trapping and fucking
wild boars is no easy task.
KY jelly helps.

Who is more boring,
the bore or the copycat?
You make meth-heads yawn.

Work in surgery.
You're drug-free anesthesia.
Side effect, bad taste.

The ghost of Reagan
Massaging his prostate gland
Eating bananas

When four Andrew Yangs
Locked in a room together
It becomes YangBang

Figpucker you're DULL!
Dull dull dull tiresome and dull.
(You are also dull.)

Diseases of lust.
They kind of feel good at first.
Extra sensitive.

Heightened awareness
Sense of smell prehistoric
Sabre toothed anus

Short at the checkout
People mocking you, Shorty
TIME TO GO MENTAL!!!

The scratch off ticket
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Scratch scratch scratch. You lose

Popping anal cysts.
It's now trending on YouTube.
Proctologists' dream.

Oooh, that new car smell
Except it s not a new car
It s a hairy cunt

Now that s manliness
Big shoes and you fill them up
A double cod piece

Bugle at sunrise
My flatulence wakes the town
Gives the day purpose

The milking parlour
Each penis trapped in metal
Not a cow in sight

I am so evil.
I switched out the gold spray paint
with mosquito spray.

In the back alley
are a bunch of dead huffers.
Golden-faced corpses.

No laws are broken.
Used for intended purpose.
Deceased parasites.

You are not awesome.
You're less than ordinary.
Even substandard.

I will not do it
if God does not tell me to.
Follow the Shepherd.

No, seriously.
Darth Vader's not Anakin.
"Dave" is... undarthy.

David Lee Roth, David Bowie, David Hasselhof... See, not very darthy at all... there are just no evil Davids out there. So Figpucker it is. All Figpuckers are evil.

A coincidence
Figpucker s name is David
Our Beloved Darth

David, in Psalms, said
Hate them with perfect hatred.
(But that's the O.T...)

Yes you should hate me
Because I am a shithead
Not 'cause God told you

The Bible says that
God says that I should hate you.
Your feelings on this?

Sophistication.
I ate chocolate covered ants.
But not on purpose.

You got your chocolate on my testicles!
You got your testicles in my chocolate!
Two great tastes that taste great together.

Got no energy.
Constipated this morning.
Recommendations?

No, I don't want meth.
I already had coffee.
Oh, never mind then!

Stiff competition
The menfolk comparing schlongs
How far they can spit

It is not easy.
When you're the best whore in town.
Twat is always sore.

Nissan Passwinder
Drive the all new sports sedan
Powered. By. Your. Farts.

Chicoms own movies
Bought out Hollywood rat finks
Push propaganda films

Comic book bull shit
And "America is bad"
Moronic jive crap

Box office nose dive
lose millions of green dollars
No one will watch film.

Had to smog old car
One more California scam
Another damn tax.

Family gathering
After church. Sunday dinner
Granny s meat curtains

You are so, so wrong.
Your penis smells like yak poo.
It's Yak Shaving Day!

Ren and Stimpy rule.
Disgusting animation.
Absolute finest.

Edgar Allen Poe.
Real poems vs. haiku.
Who you gonna trust?!

You need opium.
Satan doesn't want your cash.
Your mind will be free.

To get your mind back
Don't give the devil money
Stop taking the drugs

That means alcohol
Weed and everything else
Learn the straight edge life

Your mind will clear up
You will then stop losing time
Your body will be strong

So you don't believe?
Just try it out for yourself
See if I am wrong

Went to the V.A.
To see it they had changed
Not a God Damn bit

Illegal Alien?
Jump the border criminal?
The state will help you.

Busted up GI?
Injuries due to service?
You are on you own.

The infestation
How many times in one day
Do I need to douche?

Benguet region coffee.
Tastes like fucking blueberries.
Reminds me of Jules.

"That's some serious gourmet shit right there."
Pulp Fiction.
It's the light saber that says "Bad Motherfucker". -- Mace Windu

Where's my light saber.
I need to trim the hedges.
Darth Juan landscaping.

Flies are disgusting.
Preying mantises are sexy.
But then you might die.

Ladies, keep it clean.
A woman's worth is her cunt.
Lysol keeps it fresh.

Which do you prefer?
An Asian dwarf or pygmy?
Sometimes pygmies bite.

But for wiping ass,
pygmies really know their shit.
Figliterally.

Build me a bidet!
By bidet I mean midget
Who will wipe my arse

Would you rather fuck
A giant sized praying mantis
Or giant housefly?

Better to barter
Clean my house, get a blow job
From my Doberman

Dealing with the coins,
the wind takes your dollar bills.
Cunt shit fuck piss whore!