Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Dealing with the coins,
the wind takes your dollar bills.
Cunt shit fuck piss whore!
Haiku # 65427, July 26, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by And I have to laugh.
I beg to differ.
Neither my nor my cat's ass
has a bad odor.

Asian girls wash me.
Nineteen year old prostitutes.
I pay them in rice.

My cat, however,
she has to wash her own ass.
I feed her dog stew.

Well, my leftovers.
Dog meat tastes just like lean beef.
You would never know.
Haiku # 65426, July 26, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by df
Hey, what do ya mean
Nothing ever comes from this?
I just blew my wad
Haiku # 65425, July 26, 2019 10:00 am ET
by E. Jack of Radiator Springs
Smiling pleasantly
As I hand Darth a washcloth
Please go wash your ass
Haiku # 65424, July 26, 2019 7:13 am ET
by Board of Health of Hazmat suit
Stinky Ass Challenge
Who s got the stinkiest ass?
Me, You or your cat?
Haiku # 65423, July 26, 2019 7:10 am ET
by Cat of Roast beef ass
Been hearing voices
Arguing inside my head
Wait, that s my asshole
Haiku # 65422, July 26, 2019 7:08 am ET
by Nevermind of It was just a fart
Pants marionette
Just call him Howdy Doody
It s a hand puppet
Haiku # 65421, July 26, 2019 4:29 am ET
by Jack of Your box
Figpucker s clean taint
Mythbusters proved it s a myth
It ain t clean at all
Haiku # 65420, July 26, 2019 4:26 am ET
by Spore of Attic
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt Cunt Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 65419, July 25, 2019 11:35 pm ET
by Important memo of Don t chant USA USA
Why wait for cancer?
Your sins will be washed away
Your ass will still stink
Haiku # 65418, July 25, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You re nobody til Jizzumbody loves you
Haiku # 65417, July 25, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If I had cancer
I'd shoot those who post selfies
and pics of their lunch.
Haiku # 65416, July 25, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Darth Angryboy
So I wrote a song.
It's my take on "Tainted Love".
I call it "Loved Taint".
Haiku # 65415, July 25, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Such a waste of time
Nothing ever comes from this
It is tome to go
Haiku # 65414, July 25, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by Bye, bye assholes
They chant decide now!
It's not easy being green!
Unison, be gay!
Haiku # 65413, July 25, 2019 4:04 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
your eyes caught mine, I
knew we were undone, exposed.
She said, "He needs you".
Haiku # 65412, July 25, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Marriage is like wine;
Smooth, silky, brazen, bright, big!
Oh,Cassis of souls...
Haiku # 65411, July 25, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
I'd go to the end,
beginning and back again.
Just to taste your skin.
Haiku # 65410, July 25, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Ali Holmes Sparring
Like Mar(ch) Valley Girl titans
All is loss, yet love
Haiku # 65409, July 25, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Nuke it from orbit
The only way to be sure
That's what I would do
Haiku # 65408, July 25, 2019 2:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I finished wiping
Why does poop keep coming out?
Wait, that s your ass
Haiku # 65407, July 25, 2019 1:40 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Trudging along
Down here on the floor
With the crumbs and the dog hairs
Hey, I found ten bucks
Haiku # 65406, July 25, 2019 1:31 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian of Nerd Section
The wing of the plane
All cramped up in the wheel well
Bad places to wank
Haiku # 65405, July 25, 2019 8:30 am ET
by Frequent Flyer of I buy my penis its own seat in First Class
please rename this site:
"The Excrescences of Darth"
just to keep it real.
Haiku # 65404, July 25, 2019 8:12 am ET
by Sick Bag of Puke Flight
Save room for dinner
That said, Gramps undid his fly.
Rang the dinner bell
Haiku # 65403, July 25, 2019 6:11 am ET
by Sloppy Joe of Porch glider
Don't know about him.
Often splattered Starbucks' john.
Drips down in your hair.
Haiku # 65402, July 25, 2019 5:16 am ET
by
Vacuous strumpets.
Communication device.
"This is what I ate."
Haiku # 65401, July 25, 2019 5:11 am ET
by
Michelangelo
Do you think he ever wanked
Up on the ceiling
Haiku # 65400, July 25, 2019 5:00 am ET
by Jizzumberto of Clitaly
All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
Haiku # 65399, July 25, 2019 4:42 am ET
by Big Blessing of Bedspread
I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
Haiku # 65398, July 25, 2019 4:11 am ET
by Mistaken identity
Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
Haiku # 65397, July 25, 2019 2:11 am ET
by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
Haiku # 65396, July 23, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by What's YOUR hps?
Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
Haiku # 65395, July 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
Haiku # 65394, July 23, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Loosely Goosey
Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.

Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
Haiku # 65393, July 23, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
Haiku # 65392, July 23, 2019 4:33 am ET
by vhs
Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
Haiku # 65391, July 23, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
Haiku # 65390, July 23, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku # 65389, July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku # 65388, July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku # 65387, July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Star Trek Historian
Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku # 65386, July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku # 65385, July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku # 65384, July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku # 65383, July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku # 65382, July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Ishkabibble of Barn
Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku # 65381, July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku # 65380, July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Drive thru
Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku # 65379, July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Trudging along of Here
Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku # 65378, July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by The Gizzard of Oz
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