All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
by Big Blessing of Bedspread
I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
by Mistaken identity
Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
by What's YOUR hps?
Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
by Loosely Goosey
Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.
Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
by vhs
Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
by Anonymous Poet
After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
by Star Trek Historian
Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
by Ishkabibble of Barn
Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
by Sausage dink of Drive thru
Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
by Trudging along of Here
Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
by The Gizzard of Oz
Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream
I
by I scream of You scream
Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
by Mangia of Table
Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
by Running of Park
Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
by Brown Moan of Under old willow
Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
by Dirk Schlongstud
Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
by Drunk of Barstool
A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
by Highlight of The evening
The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
by Walking Funny of Boulevard
Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
by Transcendental Donald
I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
by Anonymous Poet
Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
by Shart education of Shart 101
See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
by Nude
Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
by Trudging along of Porch
Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
by And of Jerk off
Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
by Anonymous Poet
Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
by Anonymous Poet
"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
by Sonny boy
I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
by Person of In big trouble
He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
by Anonymous Poet
