BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
5 Days
and
66431 Haikus
later...
Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku #65361, by And of Jerk off
July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET

Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku #65360, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET

Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku #65359, by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET

You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku #65358, by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET

In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku #65357, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET

Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku #65356, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET

"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku #65355, by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET

Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku #65354, by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET

All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku #65353, by Sonny boy
July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET

I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku #65352, by Person of In big trouble
July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET

He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku #65351, by Noticer of Details of Nearby
July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET

God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku #65350, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET

Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku #65349, by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET

Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku #65348, by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku #65347, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET

Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku #65346, by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET

Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku #65345, by I see London of I see France
July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET

Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku #65344, by Immutability of Change
July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET

Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku #65343, by New Holy Trinity
July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET

Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku #65342, by Immature ejaculation
July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET

Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65341, by Waste of Time
July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET

Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku #65340, by Hardest part
July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET

Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
Haiku #65339, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 10:31 pm ET

I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
Haiku #65338, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 6:37 pm ET

Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
Haiku #65337, by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
July 16, 2019 6:08 am ET

Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
Haiku #65336, by The struggle
July 16, 2019 4:11 am ET

Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
Haiku #65335, by Saki overload
July 16, 2019 4:09 am ET

Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
Haiku #65334, by Heidi
July 16, 2019 2:39 am ET

Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
Haiku #65333, by Need input
July 16, 2019 2:08 am ET

Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
Haiku #65332, by Master of Rhyme
July 16, 2019 12:38 am ET

Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
Haiku #65331, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 11:16 pm ET

Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku #65330, by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET

He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku #65329, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET

Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
Haiku #65328, by Not Guaranteed
July 15, 2019 4:15 pm ET

a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku #65327, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET

Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku #65326, by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET

Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku #65325, by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America
July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET


Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku #65324, by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET

Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku #65323, by Toby Edwards of London, UK
July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET

No need to worry.
Sea cucumbers have no brain.
Just nerves and reflex.

Although it's rumored
some of them write poetry,
but won't admit it.
Haiku #65322, by Sea cucumbers and star fish are closely related, fun fact.
July 15, 2019 8:57 am ET

Mister President:
Could you please be less racist?
And not such a prick?
Haiku #65321, by All the people of planet Earth
July 15, 2019 8:14 am ET

Feels good up my arse
Do sea cucumbers feel pain?
Certainly hope not
Haiku #65320, by Jacques Itch
July 15, 2019 2:00 am ET

Call Richard Simmons
Feast your eyes upon this gut
Get outta my way!
Haiku #65319, by Double Gut
July 15, 2019 1:31 am ET

So, what do you think.
Football should be played with swords.
And butt-assed naked.
Haiku #65318, by Am I right or what?
July 15, 2019 12:55 am ET

Birds in gilded cage.
That's what Americans are.
I wish I was there.
Haiku #65317, by Anonymous Poet
July 14, 2019 10:48 pm ET

Trolls have no freedom.
Slaves to their own obsession.
Which makes them funny.
Haiku #65316, by Anonymous Poet
July 14, 2019 10:36 am ET

I don't like football.
And I did GTFO.
Not sure it was smart.
Haiku #65315, by But at least I'm free.
July 14, 2019 6:49 am ET

Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green backs!

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!

Get down on your knees
And thank God you were born here
Or GTFO!
Haiku #65314, by Rolang of 7734
July 14, 2019 6:26 am ET

Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green back

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
Haiku #65313, by Rolang of howthehellIknow
July 14, 2019 6:21 am ET

Noisy bastardo's
Barking fooking GD dogs
No muffler chit cars

yowling stupid chit
Slamming fooking condo doors
Running power tools

American clods
Making noise like circus seals
Please shut the fuck up
Haiku #65312, by Rolang of howthehellIknow
July 14, 2019 6:13 am ET