"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
by Sonny boy
I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
by Person of In big trouble
He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
by Anonymous Poet
Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
by Anonymous Poet
Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
by I see London of I see France
Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
by Immutability of Change
Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
by New Holy Trinity
Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.
Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.
I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.
I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
by Immature ejaculation
Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
by Waste of Time
Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
by Hardest part
Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
by Anonymous Poet
I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
by Anonymous Poet
Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
by The struggle
Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
by Saki overload
Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
by Heidi
Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
by Need input
Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
by Master of Rhyme
Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
by Anonymous Poet
Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.
Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.
Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
by Anonymous Poet
Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
by Not Guaranteed
a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
by Anonymous Poet
Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America
Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
by Toby Edwards of London, UK
No need to worry.
Sea cucumbers have no brain.
Just nerves and reflex.
Although it's rumored
some of them write poetry,
but won't admit it.
by Sea cucumbers and star fish are closely related, fun fact.
Mister President:
Could you please be less racist?
And not such a prick?
by All the people of planet Earth
Feels good up my arse
Do sea cucumbers feel pain?
Certainly hope not
by Jacques Itch
Call Richard Simmons
Feast your eyes upon this gut
Get outta my way!
by Double Gut
So, what do you think.
Football should be played with swords.
And butt-assed naked.
by Am I right or what?
Birds in gilded cage.
That's what Americans are.
I wish I was there.
by Anonymous Poet
Trolls have no freedom.
Slaves to their own obsession.
Which makes them funny.
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like football.
And I did GTFO.
Not sure it was smart.
by But at least I'm free.
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green backs!
But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
Get down on your knees
And thank God you were born here
Or GTFO!
by Rolang of 7734
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green back
But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Noisy bastardo's
Barking fooking GD dogs
No muffler chit cars
yowling stupid chit
Slamming fooking condo doors
Running power tools
American clods
Making noise like circus seals
Please shut the fuck up
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Treasure your fat wife
And tell that other poet
To stop cry whining
by Advice
What is religion?
God almighty obsession
Can quit any time
by Stalking Jeezus
What a vile dimwit:
projecting your obsessions
on the rest of us.
by Be Saved or Be Damned
My brethren poets.
Always lend a helping hand.
Inspirational!
by Anonymous Poet
Which nose doth thou blow?
Up above or down below?
I might be of help
by Helpful
We can put a man
on the moon but we cannot
write a good haiku.
A head full of snot.
Feeling weak and itchy throat.
Damn I hate the flu.
by Anonymous Poet
