BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
The wing of the plane
All cramped up in the wheel well
Bad places to wank
Haiku #65405, by Frequent Flyer of I buy my penis its own seat in First Class
July 25, 2019 8:30 am ET

please rename this site:
"The Excrescences of Darth"
just to keep it real.
Haiku #65404, by Sick Bag of Puke Flight
July 25, 2019 8:12 am ET

Save room for dinner
That said, Gramps undid his fly.
Rang the dinner bell
Haiku #65403, by Sloppy Joe of Porch glider
July 25, 2019 6:11 am ET

Don't know about him.
Often splattered Starbucks' john.
Drips down in your hair.
Haiku #65402, by
July 25, 2019 5:16 am ET

Vacuous strumpets.
Communication device.
"This is what I ate."
Haiku #65401, by
July 25, 2019 5:11 am ET

Michelangelo
Do you think he ever wanked
Up on the ceiling
Haiku #65400, by Jizzumberto of Clitaly
July 25, 2019 5:00 am ET

All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
Haiku #65399, by Big Blessing of Bedspread
July 25, 2019 4:42 am ET

I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
Haiku #65398, by Mistaken identity
July 25, 2019 4:11 am ET

Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
Haiku #65397, by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
July 25, 2019 2:11 am ET

Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
Haiku #65396, by What's YOUR hps?
July 23, 2019 7:12 pm ET

Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
Haiku #65395, by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
July 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET

Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
Haiku #65394, by Loosely Goosey
July 23, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.

Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
Haiku #65393, by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
July 23, 2019 6:46 am ET

a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
Haiku #65392, by vhs
July 23, 2019 4:33 am ET

Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
Haiku #65391, by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
July 23, 2019 1:55 am ET

Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
Haiku #65390, by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
July 23, 2019 1:53 am ET

Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku #65389, by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET

Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku #65388, by Anonymous Poet
July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET

After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku #65387, by Star Trek Historian
July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET

Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku #65386, by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET

No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku #65385, by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET

Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku #65384, by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET

My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku #65383, by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET

Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku #65382, by Ishkabibble of Barn
July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET

Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku #65381, by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET

McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku #65380, by Sausage dink of Drive thru
July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET

Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku #65379, by Trudging along of Here
July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET

Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku #65378, by The Gizzard of Oz
July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET

Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku #65377, by I scream of You scream
July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET

Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku #65376, by Mangia of Table
July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET

Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku #65375, by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET

A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
Haiku #65374, by Running of Park
July 21, 2019 2:48 am ET

Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
Haiku #65373, by Brown Moan of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 2:45 am ET

Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku #65372, by Dirk Schlongstud
July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET

Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku #65371, by Drunk of Barstool
July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET

A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku #65370, by Highlight of The evening
July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET

The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku #65369, by Walking Funny of Boulevard
July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET

Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku #65368, by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET

Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku #65367, by Transcendental Donald
July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET

I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65366, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET

Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku #65365, by Shart education of Shart 101
July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET

See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku #65364, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET

Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku #65363, by Nude
July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET

Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku #65362, by Trudging along of Porch
July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku #65361, by And of Jerk off
July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET

Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku #65360, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET

Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku #65359, by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET

You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku #65358, by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET

In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku #65357, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET

Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku #65356, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET