Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
Haiku # 65395, July 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
Haiku # 65394, July 23, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Loosely Goosey
Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.

Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
Haiku # 65393, July 23, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
Haiku # 65392, July 23, 2019 4:33 am ET
by vhs
Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
Haiku # 65391, July 23, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
Haiku # 65390, July 23, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku # 65389, July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku # 65388, July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku # 65387, July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Star Trek Historian
Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku # 65386, July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku # 65385, July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku # 65384, July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku # 65383, July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku # 65382, July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Ishkabibble of Barn
Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku # 65381, July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku # 65380, July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Drive thru
Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku # 65379, July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Trudging along of Here
Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku # 65378, July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by The Gizzard of Oz
Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku # 65377, July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET
by I scream of You scream
Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku # 65376, July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET
by Mangia of Table
Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku # 65375, July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
Haiku # 65374, July 21, 2019 2:48 am ET
by Running of Park
Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
Haiku # 65373, July 21, 2019 2:45 am ET
by Brown Moan of Under old willow
Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku # 65372, July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET
by Dirk Schlongstud
Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku # 65371, July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku # 65370, July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET
by Highlight of The evening
The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku # 65369, July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET
by Walking Funny of Boulevard
Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku # 65368, July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET
by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku # 65367, July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Transcendental Donald
I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65366, July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku # 65365, July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET
by Shart education of Shart 101
See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku # 65364, July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku # 65363, July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Nude
Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku # 65362, July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Trudging along of Porch
Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku # 65361, July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by And of Jerk off
Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku # 65360, July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku # 65359, July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET
by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku # 65358, July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET
by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku # 65357, July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku # 65356, July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku # 65355, July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku # 65354, July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku # 65353, July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET
by Sonny boy
I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku # 65352, July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET
by Person of In big trouble
He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku # 65351, July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku # 65350, July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku # 65349, July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku # 65348, July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku # 65347, July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku # 65346, July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET
by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
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